Carnival of rust - Gunheechul….thing? #5
This thing is pure nonsense, ok? It wasn't even supposed to exist. It was something I was writing for someone and somehow it turned out into a Gunheechul.
It's not even a fanfiction and I didn't even read it twice nor correct it. It's just like...this. It is a sad evening and I needed to write so please bear my nonsense ç____ç
Again, sorry for my poor English, especially this time when i didn't even care about writing properly.
Edel
Carnival of rust
I feel time slipping through my fingers.
Chances, dreams, hopes, everything passes in front of me as an act, the most beautiful, sad, funny act I’ve ever had the pleasure to watch.
And you are the main character. So perfect in your appearance, the pale skin that seems to mask with its brightness the darkness your heart conceals.
Its ivory feel of beauty and perfection entitles you as the best actor this evening, and for many evenings to come.
The ebony of your hair is like the midnight sky of one of those summer nights you and I spend together talking about nothing, doing nothing, yet feeling the weight of the world on our tiny shoulders.
Because we are small, Heechul. We are so small, nothing compared to the rest.
And still the moonlight reflecting in your eyes seems to give me new energy, new strength for the tomorrow I fear and still I silently wait for it to come.
I want tomorrow to bring me your love. But in fact, you’ve loved me everyday for the past 3 years, because you smile to me, you embrace me and, most of all, you talk to me.
Sometimes I feel I can own each single secret of your heart, I listen to them and I keep them inside my soul. Safe.
I remember that one time you told me everything that came from your tired heart, near the bridge, on the riverside.
The pale sunlight of 6 p.m of November. “The cold summer of the perished ones”, that’s what November’s sunlight was once called by a poet.
You talked and I tasted eternity through your eyes.
I don’t actually know what I want more from you. I have everything. I have your precious smile, I have your precious soul.
And still, I want more. I want your lips on mine, I want the scent of your body on my skin. I want to travel the world with you by my side. I don’t want call myself a fool each time I dream of a future with you.
My present is beautiful because you are with me. I want my future to be beautiful as well.
I don’t care how many times you will fall, I’ll be there to lift you up.
I don’t care how many times I will fall and you’ll be too busy to lift me up. I just need to know that tomorrow, or the day after, you’ll enlighten me with one of your beautiful smiles. Or even your salty tears. I don’t care. I just need you.
I don’t care how many times you will have mood swings and you will yell at me,
Nothing can hurt me. Just like the steel of your stare. It’s impenetrable.
I don’t care if you don’t really love me. I don’t care about whispering “I love you” each moment of our lives.
I don’t care about definitions.
I just want to breathe your name in each single breath.
I don’t want this to be an act, I don’t want you to play a part.
Throw away that script, let the curtain fall.
We don’t need applauses. We are our own story’s audience.
-Heechul, I need to tell you something.-
You stop in your lazy midnight walk, it’s cold and wind moves your hair, so that they fall on your perfect face.
A smile enlightens my heart and I feel my chest raging with courage again.
My hand digs in your soft hair and you’re taken aback.
A kiss.
Lips on lips, heart on heart, breath in breath. Your scent is driving me crazy. Maybe I’m so crazy that this is just a fool’s dream, hallucinations, delusions.
But in this dream you’re not running away.
You leave my lips several eternal seconds after, cupping my cheek with your hand.
-So….we’re not just an act….- you say, and I smile.
-We’ve never been just an act, Heechul.-
Sometimes we should just remind ourselves
that we have only one life, only one time.
Too short to spend it in stupid acts.
We are the actors of our own story