§028 » t e x t [ backdated to the evening of the 15th ]

[heelsandlaw]

[ police filter ]

I'm going to be away for a number of days. All administrative, legal and procedural issues should be taken care of. Ken's in charge while I'm gone.

In case of emergency, you all know how to contact me.

[ / police filter ]It might be impossible to leave the City, but that doesn't mean it's impossible to get away from it all for

Comments

[heelsandlaw]

[ Cameron's curled up on an armchair by the fireplace, a glass of wine in one hand, her feet under her body and the high heels she was wearing even inside the cabin by the chair.

She'd been looking at the fire for a while, rather lost in thought, but after a deep breath, she decides to just-- put it out there. ]

I'm thinking of leaving the police force.

[bloodcakedarmor]

[Derek was sitting on the floor with his back against the armchair by her knees. He has one of her feet in his hands and is gently massaging it. Her comment surprises him if only because he really hadn't seen it coming.]

Really? Why?

[heelsandlaw]

[ She runs a hand through her hair, sighing softly - she isn't even sure whether the sigh is because of the topic, the police force, or if it's because the massage? Feels fantastic. ]

It's just-- I'm not really cut out for the job. I'm a lawyer, not a police officer. And yeah, I knew that going in, but it was never meant to go on for this long. I was a temporary solution. I want to try people, not put them in prison without a trial in a place that has no legal system to speak of.

[ And then, very quietly and with a calm that belies the anger she feels: ] People complain that the City's a police state, and the thing is, they're right. The police force is legislator, judicative and executive all in one. There's no division of power. And I figured, for the longest time, that it didn't matter so much, because someone had to do it and I was the best person for the job, but lately

[bloodcakedarmor]

[He gets it. She was never a cop like a lot of people in the City were and it's hard to tell a cop what to do when you never went through the Academy in the first place, when you've never been out on the streets working to keep order, when you've never had to chase, cuff and bring them in, when you've never had to shoot a perp trying to escape or in a life or death situation. Also, that part of law and order is completely different than the courtroom side of law and order. So he gets it.]

It's understandable. I mean you've done good while you've been in the position. But I get that it's stressful and not your thing.

[His thumb smooths up the arch of her foot.] You'd be doing better sticking to what you know though, you're right. I mean working on some kind of judicial system here could really help the force out.

[heelsandlaw]

[ Cameron runs a hand through her hair again. It's a nervous action, but she can't help herself. This has been running through her head for a while now, weighing her down, and it's such a relief to talk to Derek about it, to let it out and more importantly, to have him say that he understands but-- still. ]

It feels like giving up. [ Like admitting that she isn't good enough, though she knows that that's nonsense. It just isn't her area of expertise, and she has done a good job. She just doesn't want to continue down the road she's on right now. ] Like-- skipping out on my responsibilities.

[bloodcakedarmor]

[Derek's hand lightly caresses her ankle. He can see how it would feel that way even though what it feels like and what it actually is are two entirely different things. After Beckett left the police department could have gone to shit. It didn't because Cameron kept it up as best she knew how. She had no experience in running something like that, and yet it was still going and that in itself was a testament to her leadership.]

So maybe find someone to take over for you? If you've got someone to fill the position then it isn't skipping out on responsibilities. It's passing on responsibilities that were meant to only be temporary in the first place so that you can move on to things you're more of an expert in.

[heelsandlaw]

Yeah. I mean, obviously. I can't just-- quit and walk away from it. But there's a reason why Beckett and I decided that I should be the one to run the department in case of her absence, and there hasn't really been an influx of people suitable to run it. I guess I could-- talk to the more experienced officers. Dean, Ken, Aya-- I will talk to them. I just don't want to push this on anyone who isn't willing or suited to do it.

[ She sighs. ] You're right, though. It just-- I worry that I might be biased because I never wanted to be in this position for long, and that it might mean that I'm not objectively making the decision that's best for everyone.

Does that make sense?

[bloodcakedarmor]

I've run units before, it's just been awhile. I mean I'll help wherever I can, you know that. Anything you need. [He hadn't played cop in a long while though, which was why he had moved to part time and on-call on the force here in the City. There might be need for cops, there was no need for profilers though, not often.]

But pretty girl, you're possibly the most logical and objective person I know here. You don't mess around all that often and I doubt you're even capable of it in regards to the police force.

[His hand lightly squeezes her ankle in a reassuring gesture.] Trust me, I think you're safe from that kind of thing.

[heelsandlaw]

I suppose the fact that I worry about it means that I'm in no danger of actually doing it. Not that that stops me from worrying. [ A dry grin. ]

Yeah. I know you will. Just giving me the opportunity to talk this through is already helping a lot.

[bloodcakedarmor]

Hey, that's what I'm here for. Anytime you need an ear to bounce things off of, I'm here. [And it was true. Anytime Cameron needed him, he would be there. He was loyal that way, and very much a knight kind of guy as Garcia had once called him. He liked to be the hero in any way he could.]

So what are you thinking of doing once you have all the free time on your hands?

bah, I fail at html again ;-; sry

[heelsandlaw]

Thank you. [ The words were more heartfelt than she was comfortable letting on, but this was Derek-- if she couldn't let him know how much this meant to her, who could she tell? ]

Probably work on a criminal code, first of all. Figure out some way to involve the population of the City, so it's at least a somewhat democratic process. Maybe let them vote on the code, or propose amendments-- I haven't completely thought it through yet, but it's what I meant to do before Beckett left, and I still think it's important.

[bloodcakedarmor]

It is important. And it sounds like a good plan. Just be careful though cause there are a lot of people here who won't look so well on you trying to force law on them in this place. Just as long as you're prepared for that.

[In truth he was worried about her through this new venture of hers. In the supernatural sense, there were lots of people more powerful and stronger than the both of them that she could end up stepping on the wrong toes of and getting herself hurt or worse. His protective side was instantly in full swing.]

[heelsandlaw]

[ Cameron shrugs. ] The thing is, there probably wouldn't be anything in the code that the police force isn't enforcing already right now anyways. It'd only codify things, since we don't have a court system and precedent to fall back on, here. Give the police force more legitimacy and do away with the whole problematic of nullum crimen, nulla poena sine lege.

[bloodcakedarmor]

I hope it does that. I'm just not sure. For a lot of these people there's no way to imprison them or keep them imprisoned or make them do anything unless the deities get behind it. And they don't seem to want to have anything to do with the force. I hope it works out, it's just a different situation here than back home.

[heelsandlaw]

I know that. But still-- I have to try.

[bloodcakedarmor]

I know you do. And I'm behind you a hundred percent. Just be careful about it, alright? Don't step on the wrong toes or walk into the wrong door.