as best as humans get
woohyun/sunggyu; nc-17;
there is only now
wc: 1, 400
a/n: first infinite fic, for chaeii because without you i will have no courage. ♥
as best as humans get
Everything went downhill from that one time.
That one time with him crushing Sunggyu against a mirror panel in their practice room, the edges of his eyes stinging and heavy because it’s so fucking swollen. Sunggyu had been startled, his eyes widening a few inches from Woohyun’s face and that ripped to surface all the feelings he’s been trying to keep bottled.
Hyung, his voice came shaking, fearful, and he had a damn right to be - months and months in the studio, their entire lives laid out in front of them murky and unfathomable - and he can’t, there’s something - I -
Sunggyu is patient, he’s always patient that’s why everyone loves him as a leader, but this, this was something else and something deep inside Woohyun snapped. It probably happened that afternoon, when Sungjong twisted his ankle. Woohyun realises they’re not going to do this forever. They’re not going to be young forever, they may be Infinite, now youths with infinite possibilities, and their music may be infinite - but the human lifespan isn’t.
What’s up, Sunggyu asks, and Woohyun nearly cries at the way his leader’s voice softens and rumbles, he was a mess.
Woohyun tries, but he realises he’s completely lost. He’s clueless on how to tell Sunggyu that their name was idealistic not realistic. He doesn’t know how to say he’s scared of breaking up (they’re almost family), doesn’t know how to say he’s afraid he’s not good enough, afraid of what the world thinks of them. He doesn’t know how to tell him he’ll regret not saying the things he needs to say.
He doesn’t know how to tell Sunggyu all of these things, so he kisses him instead.
It’s painful as teeth knocks against teeth, messy because he’s only kissed girls before, and this was his leader for fuck’s sake, but in that moment Woohyun prays, prays, prays, Sunggyu understands what he’s trying to say. His heart is about to burst, grip on Sunggyu’s elbows tightening and there’s a frightening moment when Sunggyu stiffens beneath him - and Woohyun lets go, breathless and burning.
For the next minute, Woohyun isn’t aware of the faltering explanations spilling from his mouth; he can’t hear them above the screaming of blood in his ears. Sunggyu is stunned, he could tell. It was a mistake and Woohyun should apologise. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t, but it was impossible to tear his eyes away from Sunggyu, frame tense against the mirror, lips bruised.
Woohyun, is aware to a certain degree that he isn’t making a lot of sense with “hyung, I was - sorry - is chicken good for dinner?”, but he’s pretty sure there’s not much sense he’s able to make when Sunggyu steps up to him, so close their body heat mingles, and his eyes flutter shut.
In front of the boys, Sunggyu becomes everything and Woohyun wonders if they’re real.
Woohyun is spontaneous. He believes in colours and noise and laughter. He goes up to Sunggyu from behind and whispers love into his ear. He grabs Sunggyu’s arm and tugs him along - away from lunch - on music video sets, because it’s his turn to film and he wants Sunggyu to watch him. He makes it a point that barbeque meat is a Friday staple, because the boys (Sunggyu) likes it.
But Sunggyu is the leader. Everybody needs him. He’s portioned into seven, one for each boy in Infinite. The older boy is so much still a child, with incredible responsibilities, and when he comes over to hug Woohyun, Woohyun feels almost selfish. Sunggyu is too busy, too focused - he needs to bring six boys to stardom - for Woohyun.
So when they are like how they are right now, on a Wednesday night, Woohyun half thinks he’s already asleep and possibly dreaming it all. He would just wake up, finding his sheets soiled, in an hour from waking everyone else up.
The heat of Sunggyu’s mouth above his waistband is impossibly real and scalding and whole and Woohyun is silently grateful the rest of the boys are eating out. It’s reversed now, Woohyun pinned against the wall by Sunggyu’s hand on his waist, and the older boy is wandering dangerously lower.
Woohyun hears Sunggyu cursing softly as he pants behind closed lids, he feels burning hands trailing up his stomach and teeth scraping on his erection. Sunggyu tells him the sweetest things as they make love - you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful - and the hottest things he’s ever heard - you’re so fucking hot.
Then Woohyun sees the most gorgeous sight he’s ever come across, Sunggyu pressed deep into his light blue mattress, gasping and writhing and whimpering, clawing at his back and moaning incoherent little words as he fucks him.
When they come, Woohyun is almost certain of them - whole.
It always feels like the last chance when they make love. When Sunggyu is tucked under his chin, knotted muscles in his back, fatigued and finally sleeping, Woohyun wishes he can keep Sunggyu like this forever. And it’s during times like these that Woohyun realises they have less than forever.
In the day, it’s one-seventh of a leader he gets. Times like these, he’s blessed with more than a whole leader - a boy, a friend, a lover. But for both parts, there is no infinity.
Come February, Woohyun is convinced everybody knows.
If Sungjong has become cruel enough to stop massaging his shoulders, just to shove him towards a half-through-the-door Sunggyu isn’t proof enough, Dongwoo has begun criticising Hoya’s taken portion of barbequed meat (actual fact with him being the excessive one) on Fridays, and it was enough to both fluster Sunggyu and spur Woohyun into clambering over Seongyeol so he could hug the bickering pair quiet (all awkward smiles and annoying whines).
Even Myungsoo’s resorted to picking more meat for Sunggyu, and Woohyun laughs haltingly at that because it’s the only way he can possibly deal with embarrassment.
“Guys, I made those for everyone,” He’d begin.
“Yeah, don’t give everything to me,” And Sunggyu adds, transferring some onto Sungjong’s rice bowl. “Here Sungjong, eat.”
“Says the birthday boy,” Sungjong says and suddenly, the dorm’s full of laughter and shouting, each boy trying to be heard above the other, while Myungsoo takes advantage of the scuffle and finishes the good dishes.
In the middle of having Dongwoo’s fist in his back, Hoya gripping his shirt and Seongyeol’s foot in his stomach, his limited arms trying to hush them in the amiable way he’s known for, Woohyun catches a glimpse of Sunggyu’s eyes.
They were smiling with the possibility of forever.
It hadn’t been a near-death experience or a life-shaking shift in his life that helped Woohyun see beyond (his piece and at the whole).
Rather, it had been a mundane afternoon, with uncomfortable cloisters snapped tight over his ears, a thin silver microphone positioned right beneath his mouth. He’s a guest on a radio show, together with Sunggyu. The air-conditioning is harsh on his back and somewhere in the back of his head, behind mental notes on “Dongmin’s coffee, 15% discount, Monday to Friday. Song dedications…”, he’s faintly aware of his lips cracking and a growing thirst in the back of his throat.
A few months and he’s getting used to Sunggyu’s feet bumping into his when the latter was bored. Woohyun is used to Sunggyu’s index and middle fingers walking across the table, jumping up to his wrist, and making its way up to his shoulder, because the older boy had learnt that from him. He doesn’t respond because Aviva’s Dishwasher 2000 is giving him some complicated figures to remember, and then Sunggyu’s fingers are scratching under his chin.
The pout that forms on his face is natural (probably caught on camera and circulating through Twitter) and as he faces Sunggyu, Woohyun meets with crescent eyes, gentle and lovely - whole and real, and there’s a lurching deep in his stomach (like he missed a step and he’s tumbling).
Tumbling, tumbling.
Sunggyu pulls on his nose, chuckling softly, and something clicks in Woohyun. His right foot lifts and shifts, settling down onto his leader’s shoe. His pout dissolves into the smirk he knows Sunggyu likes, and there’s a sort of inaudible buzz in the boring radio station’s static earphones.
They won’t have forever(infinity), but they have now. There is yesterday, today, and tomorrow - not infinity, but they are only human, and that’s as good (best) as it gets.
Sunggyu is whole. It had been Woohyun holding back all along and he’s going to believe in now.
end
blame this for the fic. ;_; sorry for the play on the word "infinite". /o\
woogyu ;~; wae so presh
there is only now
wc: 1, 400
a/n: first infinite fic, for chaeii because without you i will have no courage. ♥
as best as humans get
Everything went downhill from that one time.
That one time with him crushing Sunggyu against a mirror panel in their practice room, the edges of his eyes stinging and heavy because it’s so fucking swollen. Sunggyu had been startled, his eyes widening a few inches from Woohyun’s face and that ripped to surface all the feelings he’s been trying to keep bottled.
Hyung, his voice came shaking, fearful, and he had a damn right to be - months and months in the studio, their entire lives laid out in front of them murky and unfathomable - and he can’t, there’s something - I -
Sunggyu is patient, he’s always patient that’s why everyone loves him as a leader, but this, this was something else and something deep inside Woohyun snapped. It probably happened that afternoon, when Sungjong twisted his ankle. Woohyun realises they’re not going to do this forever. They’re not going to be young forever, they may be Infinite, now youths with infinite possibilities, and their music may be infinite - but the human lifespan isn’t.
What’s up, Sunggyu asks, and Woohyun nearly cries at the way his leader’s voice softens and rumbles, he was a mess.
Woohyun tries, but he realises he’s completely lost. He’s clueless on how to tell Sunggyu that their name was idealistic not realistic. He doesn’t know how to say he’s scared of breaking up (they’re almost family), doesn’t know how to say he’s afraid he’s not good enough, afraid of what the world thinks of them. He doesn’t know how to tell him he’ll regret not saying the things he needs to say.
He doesn’t know how to tell Sunggyu all of these things, so he kisses him instead.
It’s painful as teeth knocks against teeth, messy because he’s only kissed girls before, and this was his leader for fuck’s sake, but in that moment Woohyun prays, prays, prays, Sunggyu understands what he’s trying to say. His heart is about to burst, grip on Sunggyu’s elbows tightening and there’s a frightening moment when Sunggyu stiffens beneath him - and Woohyun lets go, breathless and burning.
For the next minute, Woohyun isn’t aware of the faltering explanations spilling from his mouth; he can’t hear them above the screaming of blood in his ears. Sunggyu is stunned, he could tell. It was a mistake and Woohyun should apologise. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t, but it was impossible to tear his eyes away from Sunggyu, frame tense against the mirror, lips bruised.
Woohyun, is aware to a certain degree that he isn’t making a lot of sense with “hyung, I was - sorry - is chicken good for dinner?”, but he’s pretty sure there’s not much sense he’s able to make when Sunggyu steps up to him, so close their body heat mingles, and his eyes flutter shut.
In front of the boys, Sunggyu becomes everything and Woohyun wonders if they’re real.
Woohyun is spontaneous. He believes in colours and noise and laughter. He goes up to Sunggyu from behind and whispers love into his ear. He grabs Sunggyu’s arm and tugs him along - away from lunch - on music video sets, because it’s his turn to film and he wants Sunggyu to watch him. He makes it a point that barbeque meat is a Friday staple, because the boys (Sunggyu) likes it.
But Sunggyu is the leader. Everybody needs him. He’s portioned into seven, one for each boy in Infinite. The older boy is so much still a child, with incredible responsibilities, and when he comes over to hug Woohyun, Woohyun feels almost selfish. Sunggyu is too busy, too focused - he needs to bring six boys to stardom - for Woohyun.
So when they are like how they are right now, on a Wednesday night, Woohyun half thinks he’s already asleep and possibly dreaming it all. He would just wake up, finding his sheets soiled, in an hour from waking everyone else up.
The heat of Sunggyu’s mouth above his waistband is impossibly real and scalding and whole and Woohyun is silently grateful the rest of the boys are eating out. It’s reversed now, Woohyun pinned against the wall by Sunggyu’s hand on his waist, and the older boy is wandering dangerously lower.
Woohyun hears Sunggyu cursing softly as he pants behind closed lids, he feels burning hands trailing up his stomach and teeth scraping on his erection. Sunggyu tells him the sweetest things as they make love - you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful - and the hottest things he’s ever heard - you’re so fucking hot.
Then Woohyun sees the most gorgeous sight he’s ever come across, Sunggyu pressed deep into his light blue mattress, gasping and writhing and whimpering, clawing at his back and moaning incoherent little words as he fucks him.
When they come, Woohyun is almost certain of them - whole.
It always feels like the last chance when they make love. When Sunggyu is tucked under his chin, knotted muscles in his back, fatigued and finally sleeping, Woohyun wishes he can keep Sunggyu like this forever. And it’s during times like these that Woohyun realises they have less than forever.
In the day, it’s one-seventh of a leader he gets. Times like these, he’s blessed with more than a whole leader - a boy, a friend, a lover. But for both parts, there is no infinity.
Come February, Woohyun is convinced everybody knows.
If Sungjong has become cruel enough to stop massaging his shoulders, just to shove him towards a half-through-the-door Sunggyu isn’t proof enough, Dongwoo has begun criticising Hoya’s taken portion of barbequed meat (actual fact with him being the excessive one) on Fridays, and it was enough to both fluster Sunggyu and spur Woohyun into clambering over Seongyeol so he could hug the bickering pair quiet (all awkward smiles and annoying whines).
Even Myungsoo’s resorted to picking more meat for Sunggyu, and Woohyun laughs haltingly at that because it’s the only way he can possibly deal with embarrassment.
“Guys, I made those for everyone,” He’d begin.
“Yeah, don’t give everything to me,” And Sunggyu adds, transferring some onto Sungjong’s rice bowl. “Here Sungjong, eat.”
“Says the birthday boy,” Sungjong says and suddenly, the dorm’s full of laughter and shouting, each boy trying to be heard above the other, while Myungsoo takes advantage of the scuffle and finishes the good dishes.
In the middle of having Dongwoo’s fist in his back, Hoya gripping his shirt and Seongyeol’s foot in his stomach, his limited arms trying to hush them in the amiable way he’s known for, Woohyun catches a glimpse of Sunggyu’s eyes.
They were smiling with the possibility of forever.
It hadn’t been a near-death experience or a life-shaking shift in his life that helped Woohyun see beyond (his piece and at the whole).
Rather, it had been a mundane afternoon, with uncomfortable cloisters snapped tight over his ears, a thin silver microphone positioned right beneath his mouth. He’s a guest on a radio show, together with Sunggyu. The air-conditioning is harsh on his back and somewhere in the back of his head, behind mental notes on “Dongmin’s coffee, 15% discount, Monday to Friday. Song dedications…”, he’s faintly aware of his lips cracking and a growing thirst in the back of his throat.
A few months and he’s getting used to Sunggyu’s feet bumping into his when the latter was bored. Woohyun is used to Sunggyu’s index and middle fingers walking across the table, jumping up to his wrist, and making its way up to his shoulder, because the older boy had learnt that from him. He doesn’t respond because Aviva’s Dishwasher 2000 is giving him some complicated figures to remember, and then Sunggyu’s fingers are scratching under his chin.
The pout that forms on his face is natural (probably caught on camera and circulating through Twitter) and as he faces Sunggyu, Woohyun meets with crescent eyes, gentle and lovely - whole and real, and there’s a lurching deep in his stomach (like he missed a step and he’s tumbling).
Tumbling, tumbling.
Sunggyu pulls on his nose, chuckling softly, and something clicks in Woohyun. His right foot lifts and shifts, settling down onto his leader’s shoe. His pout dissolves into the smirk he knows Sunggyu likes, and there’s a sort of inaudible buzz in the boring radio station’s static earphones.
They won’t have forever(infinity), but they have now. There is yesterday, today, and tomorrow - not infinity, but they are only human, and that’s as good (best) as it gets.
Sunggyu is whole. It had been Woohyun holding back all along and he’s going to believe in now.
end
blame this for the fic. ;_; sorry for the play on the word "infinite". /o\
woogyu ;~; wae so presh