Title: Cake
Genre: Het, Slash
Fandom: Leverage
Main Characters: Alec Hardison, Eliot Spencer, Parker
Adult Content: No
Words: 830
Chapter: 1/1
Spoilers: Mild 1x10 "The 12-Step Job"
Summary: Hardison shits where he eats and other clichés.
Teaser: Parker would drive him insane, fuck with his head too much, and the way Eliot fucked with his head to the point of insanity was so different he forgot about it too easily. Until Eliot drove him insane, fucked with his head, and by then he'd have forgotten how nuts Parker made him.
Notes: I sat down to write a Torchwood fic for a challenge...this is what came out. Okay, brain.
Eliot is rough with him, borderline violent, but it's not like that's a surprise. A part of Hardison - a big part, just slightly smaller than the bit that doesn't know when it's not time to joke anymore - suspects it's as much that he's never done this before and has no fucking clue if the "too rough" line is in a different place than with the countless women he's charmed into (his car, her car, bathroom stall, someone's kitchen counter, pile of hay...) his bed.
But Eliot's ego is probably the only thing about him that even knows what "fragile" is, and whatever other lessons Hardison's ignored he's at least learned that prodding the insecurities of someone whose first and only solution to anything that comes up is "I will fucking break you" might not be a good idea.
*
Even considering the time or two he's had trouble sitting down, earning him suspicious looks and opportunities for wisecracks, it's easier than dealing with Parker. Because at least with Eliot he knows what he's bracing himself for, knows exactly what he signed on for. Parker's just as rough then aloof then almost clingy then rough again then...well. Sometimes he feels guilty because whatever new mood she's in has him wondering if she's more invested than he thought; sometimes he doesn't because it's Parker and she probably just wants him to think that 'cause she wants something.
She's fucking insane is all he comes up with when he tries to predict. But it's not like he's the poster boy for normalcy himself, and if he really preferred not insane...well, he'd be fucked, because Eliot was in the same boat.
*
It's the circular almost-logic that got him here in the first place, though, from the first fuck with Parker (hot desperate who the fuck hit fast forward over and done hello awkward) to the second (might as well have been screwing a blow-up doll when did she forget how to move) to drinking with Eliot to bent over Eliot's couch (and talk about hello awkward).
Parker would drive him insane, fuck with his head too much, and the way Eliot fucked with his head to the point of insanity was so different he forgot about it too easily. Until Eliot drove him insane, fucked with his head, and by then he'd have forgotten how nuts Parker made him.
*
He assumes they know, although how they could know without him saying anything when he assumed Nate and Sophie had no idea was probably part of that same faulty logic system that had him thinking "differently psycho" was "normal and sane".
Or not, because Nate and Sophie were so entirely up their own asses, when not up each other's, half the time they didn't see things right in front of them. Eliot and Parker looked at the world with a healthy sense of paranoia; every bit of information noted until they could connect the dots back to themselves, even if the picture didn't look like anything.
Hardison was sitting in his apartment comparing people's minds to arts and crafts for five-year-olds. Maybe he was a little quick with the "fucking insane" judgements.
Maybe it takes one to know one.
*
It's not cheating, 'cause there's no relationship. And it can't be entirely selfish - for that, there'd have to be some benefit beyond the headfucks.
Okay, there's the sex. But when he thinks that, he has to pretend he didn't, because if the sex is an afterthought...what the Hell is this all about, exactly?
*
Hardison tells the girl at Second Act they're a couple, because Eliot was gonna just leave him without a cover story(and who was the idiot who didn't bother to find out they'd need one?). Eliot tenses, barely hides the death-glare, and Hardison's legitimately surprised he doesn't get punched when they're alone in the elevator.
Eliot doesn't talk to him, when he can help it, for the rest of the day. And Parker's decided oh yeah, she is insane, so she'll just be staying at Second Act. Hardison spends the night alone for the first time in a while, and celebrates by turning the music up so loud he can't process that.
*
Eliot's fucking Parker in the conference room. He'd assumed it was Nate and Sophie when he first heard it, but even as he thought that he knew that wasn't really a them kind of thing. It was a Parker thing, though, he could've guessed that when he met her even if she hadn't suggested it to him once. And just about anything was an Eliot thing.
Parker hollers, and Hardison opens the door, shuts it again (louder this time, so they'll hear it), and starts down the hall with the distinct feeling he didn't get to finish eating his cake but he doesn't have it, either.
(It's not cheating. There's no relationship.)