(no subject)
Today I just about broke down. Honestly, after a while things seriously come out of no where and blind side you. I woke up today with a HORRIBLE bladder infection- we're talking level 5 sort of tornado bad, I had the shakes and on top of it all I had an exam to study a little for. Then meeting Adam @ lunch seriously was the breaking point. I walk into SAGA and ALL these people were just swarming around me and buzzing conversations were flying through my head and I got this big lump in my chest and just seriously couldn't even walk b/c of the UTI- I about just lay down in the middle of the cafeteria in distress until I saw Adam sitting there. Ugh, I hate that it affected me the way it did but stress hit me hard and sickness and nerves.
Ends up I got an 87.5%--- funny thing, in high school I would be somewhat relieved w/ that considering the lack of studying..but being here @ Wheaton I can't HELP but think that it's not good enough. It's not a freaking A and that's all I wanted. UGH!! I hate Wheaton sometimes. Perfection can never be achieved yet everyone still strives for it...idiots.
Anyway, softball ate me alive b/c I had to go to the bathroom the ENTIRE practice including conditioning when he threw in "jump ropes"...what an evil man. I just pray the pain goes away, I can't take this feeling much longer. Now Adam is in Iowa for his grandpa's funeral and I am sleep deprived, stressed for my Soc. test results and quiz tomorrow, and field trip- AH!
I just need to breath.
Does anyone else feel this enormous weight all of a sudden loaded on their shoulders?
It doesn't help being a girl when all you want to do is cry-- crying is weak yet it's strong.
I hate crying, so I refuse and put a strike on tears :)
I think I may stop writing in live journal. No one responds, it's a waste of time and when I do I have absolutely nothing to say,..hmm I'll think about it.
Ends up I got an 87.5%--- funny thing, in high school I would be somewhat relieved w/ that considering the lack of studying..but being here @ Wheaton I can't HELP but think that it's not good enough. It's not a freaking A and that's all I wanted. UGH!! I hate Wheaton sometimes. Perfection can never be achieved yet everyone still strives for it...idiots.
Anyway, softball ate me alive b/c I had to go to the bathroom the ENTIRE practice including conditioning when he threw in "jump ropes"...what an evil man. I just pray the pain goes away, I can't take this feeling much longer. Now Adam is in Iowa for his grandpa's funeral and I am sleep deprived, stressed for my Soc. test results and quiz tomorrow, and field trip- AH!
I just need to breath.
Does anyone else feel this enormous weight all of a sudden loaded on their shoulders?
It doesn't help being a girl when all you want to do is cry-- crying is weak yet it's strong.
I hate crying, so I refuse and put a strike on tears :)
I think I may stop writing in live journal. No one responds, it's a waste of time and when I do I have absolutely nothing to say,..hmm I'll think about it.