And So It Was A Truly Depressing Day...
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
And so as the title indicates it's another depressing day in my life. I am currently going through an "I'm-Tried-Of-Everything" phase. We all know this isn't strange but today more than ever life seems to be running away from me. I should be happy seeing as my birthday is in...
8 More Days!!!
...But I just feel depressed. Maybe I should go on Zoloft I'm starting to think this is a personality disorder and I realized something. How Can I Be A Psychologist If I Can't Help Myself?! You know I really do need to figure out what I want from life. So far I know I want
1.) To Get Married
2.) Have Money
3.) Have kids
4.) Be Happy
It's sad. Ever since I was (maybe) 11 I haven't had happiness. I guess it's true when people do long to be children again. What I would give to go back. I would correct some wrongs and maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't have turned out the way I did. I need professional help but my mom says it's all in my mind. I know it's all in my mind, thats why I need help in the first place!
And Boys make me so sick. If there was another way to make the population grow without them I would definitely damn them all. They are only put here to complicate our existence. At this rate I'm going to be gay because it's the only way a guy can't complicate your life because you won't like him. I think I would be much better off because I do not need to be depressed by stupid guys and their stupid decisions. Thats why at this rate I'll never find someone. I would go to a convent but I'm sorry to say I'm not religious. We, at least I know I need, to plan a-get-away. This is where being independent kicks in. We should go on a vacation. I need to leave everything behind and just focus on this vacation. A deserted Island would be nice. Well not completely deserted because lord knows I need electricity and cable. But somewhere to get away from people, Guys especially. (Thats why I look forward to our back packing trip)I blame the sperm donor for all my guy trusting issues and the people in my life who have betrayed me for expecting to be let down at any moment. And at the rate this entry is going it's best I leave it now. So I said everything that was bugging me, more or less, and I'll leave you at that. I might come back later for this poem I wrote, If I finish my homework classwork. Byes
o_OGeeO_o
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
And so as the title indicates it's another depressing day in my life. I am currently going through an "I'm-Tried-Of-Everything" phase. We all know this isn't strange but today more than ever life seems to be running away from me. I should be happy seeing as my birthday is in...
8 More Days!!!
...But I just feel depressed. Maybe I should go on Zoloft I'm starting to think this is a personality disorder and I realized something. How Can I Be A Psychologist If I Can't Help Myself?! You know I really do need to figure out what I want from life. So far I know I want
1.) To Get Married
2.) Have Money
3.) Have kids
4.) Be Happy
It's sad. Ever since I was (maybe) 11 I haven't had happiness. I guess it's true when people do long to be children again. What I would give to go back. I would correct some wrongs and maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't have turned out the way I did. I need professional help but my mom says it's all in my mind. I know it's all in my mind, thats why I need help in the first place!
And Boys make me so sick. If there was another way to make the population grow without them I would definitely damn them all. They are only put here to complicate our existence. At this rate I'm going to be gay because it's the only way a guy can't complicate your life because you won't like him. I think I would be much better off because I do not need to be depressed by stupid guys and their stupid decisions. Thats why at this rate I'll never find someone. I would go to a convent but I'm sorry to say I'm not religious. We, at least I know I need, to plan a-get-away. This is where being independent kicks in. We should go on a vacation. I need to leave everything behind and just focus on this vacation. A deserted Island would be nice. Well not completely deserted because lord knows I need electricity and cable. But somewhere to get away from people, Guys especially. (Thats why I look forward to our back packing trip)I blame the sperm donor for all my guy trusting issues and the people in my life who have betrayed me for expecting to be let down at any moment. And at the rate this entry is going it's best I leave it now. So I said everything that was bugging me, more or less, and I'll leave you at that. I might come back later for this poem I wrote, If I finish my homework classwork. Byes
o_OGeeO_o