WoW TWO entries in one day.....
Yes well the other was just an outlet. This is an update. Well I too feel as if summer is passing and I'm just wasting it, again. Every summer I make resolutions for the new school year, yet I never do them. I really wanted to get my goals for this summer done. But there are so many complication Idk why I didn't think of the complications before making my goals. I really do need a job, not only because I need the money to buy myself things I want, but I need to start saving for college. The sperm donor is being a bastard and it doesn't look like he's planning on chipping in anything. Besides I'm closer to 18 which means I am in BIG trouble. See the sperm donor told me things are going to change. Sure I'm still going to live at home, I'm just going to start having a share in the bills that need to be paid. That's why my decision of going away for college is becoming stronger. I mean whats going to be the difference? I still need to assume responsibility both ways. And I truly have no idea what I am going to do in life. Thats why I need a job. At least if I have money for the necessities I can survive for a couple of years, until I decide what to do. I hope I do figure out what I want to do.
Then theres the fact that I wanted to join a gym. I need to look ok, in my POV, in order to feel good about myself. I know no one is truly happy with how they look, there are ppl who do, but I just happen to be one of these ppl who are unhappy with themselves. If I got to change how I look not only will it be better for my health but it will boost my confidence. I am a tormented soul on the inside therefore only I can fix this. BUT, yea here's that but again, I have no car or way of being transported. All these things I want to do for myself can't be done because apparently the only way of transportation my mother believes in is driving and walking. I cannot walk there seeing as there aren't any available jobs around my house. My mother distrusts the bus so the only thing left is a car. I dont have one and I see that the sperm donor will not be giving me one ever. My mom always says that we cant fix the transportation later. I dont know how seeing as I can't go out to do these things. How am I really supposed to go out and get a job when I can't look for one? How am I supposed to go to a gym if I can't get there? I swear. I have wasted my summer once more. I might as well wait till I'm 18 but I dont see how much that will change. *sigh* How depressing this is. Ciaos ppl.
.:G!N:.