i quorum sense your acylated homoserine lactones and baby it makes me wanna bioluminesce

[heckers]

akiko: i need to study for microbial physiology
gangrene james: no you don't
akiko: yes, i really do
g-james: akiko, you explain it to me when you're drunk. you don't need to study.
akiko: i do do that.. but not fatty acid catabolism!
g-james: no, i've heard you explain that drunk.

and

nick: you know, it's people like us that made the holocaust possible.
akiko: no it's people like us that made the holocaust interesting
nick: i was going to say fun
akiko: same thing.

:)
akiko: what if i win the nobel prize?
nick: ... if you win the nobel prize, i will kill myself.
akiko: hehe i'll be doing my research into cancer and world hunger and they'll ask me what my motivation is, and i'll say "i'm really trying to kill my friend nick." and then i win the nobel prize
nick: if you win the nobel prize, i really will kill myself. i will show up at the ceremony, give you a hug, take out a gun, and shoot myself in the head. because life could not get any better after that point.

^
that is the best vote of confidence in the inate evil of my nature i have ever heard.

and..
mike, you cannot leave umass.
and the end!