(no subject)
My Dearest KitchenAid Stand Mixer,
I have a confession to make. I've been cheating on you with another appliance, and I want a divorce. It's not you, I swear...it's me. My needs have changed. I still love you; I think I always will, but this new appliance...well, we're perfect for each other. Please don't hate me...I couldn't go on if I thought we couldn't at least still be friends.
Love,
Me
P.S. We can still hook up for a booty call the next time I need to make a cheesecake, right?
Dear Shiny New Dryer,
The way you gently tumble my clothes in your warm embrace, guarding against wrinkles and flinging cat hair with abandon makes my heart flutter. The way you lovingly dry my 100% wool sweaters, preventing felting and reducing my blocking time by days...oh, my love, words cannot truly express the joy you bring me.
Marry me?
Love,
Me
*goes back to cleaning*
I have a confession to make. I've been cheating on you with another appliance, and I want a divorce. It's not you, I swear...it's me. My needs have changed. I still love you; I think I always will, but this new appliance...well, we're perfect for each other. Please don't hate me...I couldn't go on if I thought we couldn't at least still be friends.
Love,
Me
P.S. We can still hook up for a booty call the next time I need to make a cheesecake, right?
Dear Shiny New Dryer,
The way you gently tumble my clothes in your warm embrace, guarding against wrinkles and flinging cat hair with abandon makes my heart flutter. The way you lovingly dry my 100% wool sweaters, preventing felting and reducing my blocking time by days...oh, my love, words cannot truly express the joy you bring me.
Marry me?
Love,
Me
*goes back to cleaning*