BOGfest fic entry!
Title: High Fives and Fighting Crime
Characters: Chazz, Jimmy, and Hector
Rating: R (for Slash - kissing)
Genre: Gen/Humor/Romance
Situation: Hector won't respect any restraining order and Jimmy still doesn't seem to take this dude seriously. As a possible threat to the Michaels/MacElroy team, Hector must be shooed away by a Chazz that isn't about to let his skating dreams fade away because of some love-sick puppy or his partner
Inclusions: Chazz chasing Hector off the ice would be nice
Word Count: 5,888 (I got them out of the toy box and they didn't want to go back in!)
My prompt was from Jmieso thank you for such a fun prompt!
High Fives and Fighting Crime by Hecate_12
CHAPTER ONE - POEMS FROM A SUPERFAN
Jimmy MacElroy, king of the ice
I want to hold you and hug you; that would be nice.
I would run my fingers through your sweet blond hair,
And you wouldn’t have to speak, you could just stare.
Jimmy, oh Jimmy, you could be mine,
And then we could go to Denny’s and have pancakes.
You know the blueberry kind where they put the syrup on the side?
I like to pick out the blueberries and spell out your name on the side of the plate.
Then I lick it.
Anyway, hope you like the poem. See you real soon.
Hector. xxx
“MacElroy, what the crap is this?” Chazz Michael Michaels shouted into Jimmy MacElroy’s ear as he read the letter he had opened over his shoulder.
“You don’t have to shout Chazz, you made me jump. It’s a poem. From Hector.” Jimmy folded the pink sheet of paper and put it into the trash.
“Who’s Hector?”
Jimmy sighed. “You know, my... kind of... stalker. I got a restraining order against him last year, but he still sends me stuff from time to time.”
“What kind of stuff?” Chazz asked.
“Flowers, teddy bears... and poetry.”
“Dude, that crap is not poetry. Trust me, I know. The Chazz man understands poetry. And this ain’t it. The last part doesn’t even rhyme! Man needs a copy of Let Me Put My Poems in You stat.”
Jimmy decided not to comment. He had read Chazz’s book of “poetry” and decided that the idea of sending Hector poorly punctuated - well, it could only really be described as soft porn - was not a good idea. He also really wanted to change the subject. He felt uncomfortable thinking about Hector if he was totally honest with himself. Anyway, if he just ignored it he was sure Hector would eventually get bored and pick on some other sports personality to fixate upon. Maybe Jimmy would get lucky and Hector would move back to the Ukraine.
Chazz walked past Jimmy and went into the living room, threw himself down onto the sofa (“If he breaks it, Coach will go nuts”, Jimmy thought) and turned on the TV set. “MacElroy, go get me a beer princess”.
“No way, beer’s full of calories, it’ll make you fat”
“It’ll make me soft and sexy and the ladies’ll love it.”
Jimmy snorted. “My god, you’re disgusting.”
“You love it MacElroy. Now beer me.” Jimmy sighed and grabbed a Budweiser from the fridge alongside a diet Coke for himself. He also grabbed a bag of Skittles from the cupboard. It was an old habit left over from childhood, but whenever Jimmy was feeling upset he would go straight for the Skittles. Maybe he just liked the fact the candy was always happy colours, unlike real food which was always so dull. Jimmy liked happy colours.
“Don’t worry about Hector, Chazz” Jimmy announced as he sat down on the couch next to his partner . “He’s annoying, but he’s harmless. He’s bound to get bored sometime and go away”.
“We’ll see.” Chazz replied, ominously.
CHAPTER TWO - NOT FROM HIS HEAD
“Ok, Jimmy, this is getting stupid now” Chazz strode into the living room wearing nothing but a towel and holding a letter in his hand.
“Chazz, how many more times do I have to tell you to put a robe on when you get out of the shower? I really don’t want to have to look at…”
“Shut up for a second, princess. What the hell is this?”
“What?”
“This! Your damn boyfriend is writing to you again! How the hell does he know where we live?” Chazz thrust another pink scented envelope in front of Jimmy’s face.
“My boy…? Hector? Chazz, he’s not my boyfriend douche bag, I’m not even gay for a start, and second of all, he’s harmless. Just ignore it and it’ll go away.”
Chazz threw the letter onto Jimmy’s lap. “It won’t just go away. We’ve only been back in the cabin for three weeks and he’s managed to send you a dumb scented letter EVERY GODDAMN DAY!”
“You don’t have to shout Chazz.” Jimmy picked up the pink envelope and opened it.
“What’s ol’ nutjob got to say then?” Chazz asked, leaning in to see the letter. Except it wasn’t a letter Hector had sent. It was…
“Hair. Lots of it.” Jimmy got up and went to put the envelope and its contents into the trash. Chazz looked up at Jimmy, an uncomfortable expression on his face. “Dude, do you think that even came from his head?”
Jimmy turned round “And what is that supposed to mean?”
“I’m just sayin’ maybe this guy shaved the old baloney pony and sent the results to you. Damn, that’s creepy as shit.”
“Don’t be disgusting Chazz. Hectors just a little… odd. Look, if it hadn’t been for him we wouldn’t even be skating together so maybe we should cut the guy some slack, huh?” Jimmy sat down on the couch and turned on the TV set.
“Slack? The freak show is sending you PUBES in the mail Princess, that’s fucked up right there!” Chazz sat down next to Jimmy and grabbed the remote from his hand. Jimmy cried “Hey, I was watching that!”
“MacElroy, I know you’re my brother and all, but there’s no goddamn way I’m sitting and watching another repeat of Golden Girls. Sorry, I’m out. Giraffe.”
“Giraffe?”
“Yeah, you know, like a safe word? Like when you’re screwing a really kinky chick and you need a word to let her know when…”
“Chazz! My god, you’re disgusting. I’m going to bed.” Jimmy left the living room and went into the bedroom, leaving Chazz alone with the TV and the leftover bucket of fried chicken that Jimmy refused to touch, let alone eat.
“Damn stalker freak. No-one messes with the Chazz man’s brother. Nobody” Chazz announced to the empty room.
CHAPTER THREE - THE CONTEST
“God, I’m so bored.” Chazz was complaining again.
“Well, isn’t there anything on the TV?” Jimmy asked. Chazz seemed to spend most of his time sitting in front of the television. When Jimmy was working out or finishing his cross stitch, Chazz would be sitting on his backside, staring at the goggle-box, bag of chips in one hand and a beer in the other.
“No, there isn’t. And I can’t handle watching another MacGyver marathon. There’s nothing to do here!” Jimmy rolled his eyes. Chazz might keep calling him ‘Princess’ but he was the one who was sounding an awful lot like a whiny girl right now.
“There’s lots to do. You haven’t been on the treadmill in ages. Get on that for a bit and work off the fat ass of yours.”
“Look, Princess, it’s not fat; it’s sexy ass padding. And I’m not going on the damn treadmill. Think of something else.”
“Why do I have to think of something? I’m not your babysitter!” Jimmy folded his arms in front of his chest.
“Aren’t you bored too?”
“No, I’m not. I’ve got plenty of things to do.”
“Like what?”
Jimmy thought. OK, so he was a bit bored, but he wasn’t going to back down now. “Like… read, or work out, or finish my…” He stopped. He didn’t really want to draw attention to the fact he liked to cross stitch.
“Finish your what? Your knitting?”
“It’s not knitting Chazz, it’s cross stitch. It’s relaxing and it’s good for your concentration. But you wouldn’t know about that would you? You can’t concentrate on anything for longer than five seconds.”
“I can! I can concentrate when I need to…” Chazz gave Jimmy one of those filthy winks that only meant one thing.
“God! Can’t you think about anything else? You sex… fiend!”
“You love it!”
Jimmy frowned and turned away from the man standing opposite him. “I do not love it! I have better things to do with my time!”
Chazz took a step closer toward Jimmy, grabbed his shoulders and spun him round. It was a nice spin. Jimmy had to resist the urge to throw his arms out to his arms in a flourish.
“Let’s go to the bar and get some women!”
“What? No! I’m not going to some skanky bar! And anyway, we have practice tomorrow; we can’t be up all night talking to strange women!”
“Who said anything about talking? Come on Jimmy, it’ll be great; we’ll be a team. I’ll be the tough guy and you can be the whiny girly friend. Girls love that shit.”
Jimmy was getting angry now. “I am not going to a bar with you Chazz. I’m not like that!”
“Listen, little lord MacElroy, you need to go out and get some tail. How long has it been since you broke up with Van Waldenburg? Five weeks? Mine’d fall off if I didn’t get any for five weeks!” He shook his head as though he was shaking water out his hair. “No, wait, I didn’t say that. It wouldn’t fall off. And anyway, I’m not having sex right now. Haven’t in ages. With anyone. God grant me the serenity...”
Jimmy interrupted. He didn’t need to hear another “Sex Addict’s Prayer” chanted under Chazz’s breath.
“Chazz, I do not need to ‘go get some tail’. Leave me alone.”
“Why’d she break with you anyway? Jealous that you’re prettier than her?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. We broke up because she just couldn’t go out with a figure skater. She said she’d had enough of the ice and with Stranz and Fairchild in prison she was going to move where there wasn’t any ice to be found. Hawaii, to be precise.” Jimmy remembered every word of what Katie had said when she’d broken up with him and broken his heart. It wasn’t supposed to happen that way. Jimmy had waited his whole life to get a girlfriend and then it lasted all of two weeks before she decided to dump him and move to another state. It wasn’t supposed to work like that. They were supposed to live happily ever after, like in the movies. Chazz and Jimmy won the gold and Jimmy won the girl. Except - he didn’t. Jimmy never won the girl .Jimmy was the girl. He felt himself beginning to crave Skittles. There weren’t any in the cabin. Dammit! When would Coach get back so he could go to the store a pick up a bag? Or ten.
“Hey, pretty lady! I’m talking here! Will you listen?” Chazz interrupted Jimmy’s train of thought. Lucky really, because if Jimmy didn’t get some candy soon he’d start climbing the walls.
“What?”
“I said, you need to remember what the Chazz man taught you. Get the kiss right and the clothes practically fall off the girl”. Jimmy remembered that conversation all too well. He had been determined to make sure the second time he kissed Katie it was better. The first time had been horrible. So he went to the one person who really knew about women. Chazz. Then followed one of most awkward conversations he’d ever had. Chazz seemed to get very excited about being to pass on his knowledge and had even gone as far as to draw diagrams in Jimmy’s blue notebook. The whole evening had left Jimmy with a funny fluttery feeling in his stomach. A feeling that wasn’t entirely unpleasant. He had found himself staring at Chazz’s lips a lot more after that evening.
“You were taught by the best, you shouldn’t let that knowledge go to waste. Let’s go out and get drunk and get some women.”
“No Chazz, that’s disgusting”.
Chazz mumbled something incoherent. “What was that?” Jimmy asked, sharply.
“I said, you probably suck at kissing anyway.”
“I so do not suck!”
“Yeah? I bet you do. I bet you suck her chin. That’s such a rookie mistake, Homeschool.”
Jimmy could feel his face getting hot. “I bet I could kiss better than you any day, Michaels. I wouldn’t start licking her face like you do”.
“Hey! I haven’t done that in a routine for a long time. The ladies love
the Chazz spit. That’s a precocious commodity.”
“It’s precious you douche, not precocious. And nobody wants to be licked.” At least, not on the face. On the neck maybe...
“Fine. You stick to your fancy pants wordage and your stupid movies about stupid robots, and I’ll go prove that Chazz Michael Michaels is sex on ice. Shame you’ll never be half the stud I am”.
“It’s not a stupid movie! And I could out stud you anytime!”
“Prove it!”
“How am I supposed to prove it, dingbat? There’s no girls here.”
Chazz looked around the empty cabin. “Well then you’ll just have to kiss me.”
Jimmy blanched. “Are you crazy?”
“No. I am very very drunk right now though. So, you gonna prove it? Or just sit in your My Little Pony pyjamas crying over the fact you can’t
kiss?”
The whole situation was making Jimmy extremely uncomfortable. There was nothing in the world that would make Jimmy MacElroy make out with the man standing in front him. Even if he had looked at Chazz’s naked torso for a little longer than was necessary after the older skater had gotten out of the shower. And anyway, he wasn’t looking at Chazz’s soft belly, or the trail of hair that ran down from his stomach into the towel wrapped around his middle. He was looking at the tattoo. On his arm. Yeah, that was it. The tattoo. Nope, nothing would make him Kiss Chazz. But then he said it.
“I guess I win then.”
Those magic words. James MacElory had been brought up - no -
manufactured to be a winner. He might be skating in a pairs team now but he still wanted to win every competition they entered. Jimmy aimed for gold, nothing less. In skating, in Monopoly, in Hungry Hippos, Jimmy played to win. But... this? Was this a contest Jimmy could win? Only one way to find out.
“OK.”
Now it was Chazz’s turn to go pale. “What?”
“I said OK. I’ll kiss you and prove to you that I can kiss well. Unless you’re chicken”.
“Fine. Come on then. Let’s go.” Chazz took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Jimmy moved towards the older man. It was now or never. He wished he was as drunk as Chazz was. Oh well, at least maybe Chazz wouldn’t remember this in the morning. And Jimmy had wondered what it would be like to kiss Chazz. At night time, when his thoughts had wandered and he’d found himself thinking about things his mind would never go near when he was fully awake. Jimmy closed his eyes and pressed his lips softly against Chazz’s.
Chazz’s lips were warm and dry. I keep telling him to use Chapstick the back of Jimmy’s mind supplied. The front of his brain was telling him to picture Katie, or the woman who worked in the candy store or anyone with breasts, but.... Chazz wasn’t lying. He really was very good at this. Chazz flicked his tongue out and slowly licked Jimmy’s bottom lip, prising his mouth open and deepening the kiss. Wait, this is going too far, we never said anything about tongues... oh! This was wonderful. Chazz tasted of scotch and beef Jerky and Jimmy wondered when was the last time the man had cleaned his teeth, but the small traitorous part of his brain told him to shut the hell up and enjoy the fantastic things that man was doing to Jimmy’s mouth. Jimmy threw caution to the wind and kissed back. He clashed tongues with Chazz and then it was all tongues and teeth and spit and then Jimmy’s mind shut down completely. He pressed his hands into the base of Chazz’s spine and felt his knees go weak. Chazz moaned and moved his mouth away from Jimmy’s and started to kiss his neck. Jimmy threw his head back and... Reality kicked back in. Kicked in wearing steel toe capped boots. Jimmy was kissing Chazz! With tongues! This was so beyond wrong! Jimmy took a deep breath and looked at Chazz. He was breathing heavily and his lips were swollen.
“I have to go.” Jimmy bolted for the bathroom and took the tube of toothpaste from the glass on the counter. What just happened? How do you go from a stupid argument about girls to making out with your best friend? Jimmy really wanted some Skittles badly. Bed. That was what he needed. Just to go to sleep and things would be clearer in the morning. And maybe Chazz could come to bed with me... No! That was a dangerous train of thought. Jimmy washed his face and got into bed. It was ok, no one had seen. Jimmy went to sleep secure in the knowledge that no one knew things had gone a bit too far with Chazz this evening. No one knew. Except for the person sitting in the bushes that neither Chazz nor Jimmy had seen. The one with the night vision goggles, the notebook and the peacock feathers glued to his jacket. Hector had seen it all.
CHAPTER FOUR - HIGH FIVE, JIMMY
Jimmy was watching another (in his opinion, excellent) episode of the Muppet Show when the doorbell rang. Jimmy frowned. Who was calling at this time of night? Coach was away for the weekend with Jesse and Chazz was at his sex addicts meeting; and anyway, neither of those people would ring the doorbell - they both had keys. Jimmy begrudgingly got up off the sofa and went to answer the door. He was not prepared for what he saw. Not in the slightest.
Hector was standing at the door wearing a pair of leather pants, a t-shirt which read “Stud Muffin - want a bite?” and the worst wig Jimmy had ever seen. It was shoulder length, vaguely curly and almost black. It also looked like it had made out of nylon. Jimmy swallowed hard.
“Hector? What are you doing here?”
Hector brushed a stray lock of fake hair out of his eyes. “I’m not Hector, I’m Chazz. BOOM! Lemme come in Jimmy. Boom!”
“Hector, this isn’t very funny and it’s getting really late. What are you doing here?”
“Jimmy, it’s me, Chazz. BOOM! Let’s go inside and get really drunk and do manly figure skating stuff together.”
Jimmy wondered at this point whether it might be safer to just play along for a bit. He was alone and here was a (in Chazz’s words) total nutjob wearing a crappy wig and doing an even crappier Southern accent pretending to be Chazz. Chazz wasn’t even from the south. Jimmy hoped Chazz would be home soon.
“Um... Chazz. What kind of manly skating stuff are we actually talking about here?” Jimmy closed the door a fraction, hoping Hector wouldn’t notice.
“Well, you know. Like... high five and low five and... makeoutandstuff. BOOM!”
Make out?! This guy really was crazy! “Hector, I never once made out with Chazz!" Jimmy lied. "And stop saying boom all the time! And take off that ridiculous wig!” Jimmy made to close the fully when Hector reached out a hand and stopped him.
“Jimmy , it doesn’t have to be like this! Chazz is taking you away from me! I can skate! You can skate with me! We can make beautiful music together and high five and fight crime! CRIME JIMMY! We can take on the world!”
“Hector get away from me! I have a restraining order against you!” Jimmy really had to fight for control of the door now. This was getting scary - where was Chazz? Jimmy heaved all of weight into his arms and tried desperately to pull the door away from Hector. He was losing, this guy was freakishly strong and Jimmy could smell the sweat coming from him. Why hadn’t he taken him more seriously? This was it wasn’t it? He was going to die on Coach’s front step; killed by a man dressed like his best friend. Jimmy felt tears welling up in his eyes. For some inexplicable reason the
only thought in his head was the hope he wouldn’t get blood on the Berber.
“GET AWAY FROM MY BROTHER YOU SICK PERVERT!”
Jimmy thought he would never be so pleased to hear Chazz’s voice. He looked up from the floor to see Chazz running towards Hector, picking him up and throwing him across the driveway. It was magnificent. He even ended with a flourish of the arms. Chazz really was figure skating through and through. He stormed through the front door, closed it and locked it and then turned to Jimmy.
“You OK princess?”
Jimmy took one look at the man standing in front of him and promptly crumpled on the floor in a dead faint.
~ ~ ~ ~
“Jimmy? Jimmy, are you ok? Can you hear me buddy?”
Jimmy cracked his eyes open to see the blurry figure of Chazz Michaels standing over him, wet flannel in his right hand. Jimmy looked around him. He was lying on the sofa with his Hello Kitty blanket draped over him. Chazz looked worried.
“What the hell happened to you? I go to one meeting with some very hot chicks that I am NOT allowed to touch - “ He shook his head “- and I come home to find you fighting with some wacko wearing a dead ferret on his head.”
Jimmy sat up a little. “It was Hector. He came round and was trying to pretend to be you. He wanted to come in and...”
“And what?”
Jimmy blushed. “And make out.”
Chazz placed the flannel back into the basin of cold water he had on the coffee table. “Why would he think dressing up like me would get you to make out with him? And more importantly, what the hell did he think I look like? That guy looked more like Chewbacca on a bad hair day than me. No one can close to looking like the Chazz. Perfection only happens once in a lifetime. You can come close, but you’ll never touch me. I’m sex on everything.” He brushed Jimmy hair and looked at his forehead. “You’re bleeding a bit. I’ll go get you a band-aid, Princess.”
Jimmy reached out a hand to stop him. “Chazz... Thank you.”
“Alright, calm down dude, it’s only a band-aid”.
“No, I mean... for helping me out. For everything.”
Chazz snorted. “Hey, take a deep breath there. If this was a movie and you were a girl, this is the part where we’d start kissing.” Jimmy swallowed, hard. His heart started beating a little faster. Did he want Chazz to kiss him again? He had a horrible feeling the answer might be yes.
Chazz spoke. “Come on, let’s get you into bed.” Jimmy’s heart leapt into his mouth. Ok, so he might have - maybe- wanted to kiss Chazz again, but going to bed together? That leap was terrifying. He opened his mouth in shock
“Wha... huh?”
Chazz grinned. “You look like shit and we’ve got practice tomorrow. Come on, Princess, up you get.”
Not going to bed together, then. That was a relief. At least, it should have been a relief, shouldn’t it? Jimmy was beginning to get confused again and his head was starting to hurt. Maybe getting some sleep was a good idea. He pushed the blanket off and went to pull himself up from the couch. He stretched his shoulders and heard what sounded like every bone in his body cracking simultaneously.
“Holy crap, MacElroy! Was that you? My god, you’re tense! Go lie down.”
“I was going to go lie down Crapweasel! And you’d be tense if someone in a bad... me costume tried to kill you!”
“That would be hilarious. Would they be wearing your sheep pyjamas?”
Jimmy glared. “It’s not funny, Chazz.” He started to make his way to the bedroom. Chazz followed him. Jimmy lay down on his bed and Chazz sat beside him.
“Now lie on your front.”
“What?”
“I said, lie down on your front. I’m going to give you a massage. If you’re that tense tomorrow you’ll skate like shit and then I’ll skate like shit.” Jimmy’s stomach flipped. A massage? The worry must have shown on his face because the next sentence that came out of Chazz’s mouth was
“Nothing fruity, I did a course in Sports Massage once.”
Jimmy was surprised. “Really?”
Chazz snorted. “Yeah. What, you’re the only one who’s allowed to be educated? I’m not a complete caveman, MacElroy.”
“I guess. Sorry.”
Chazz smiled. “Plus, I was boning the teacher at the time. She was very supple...”
Jimmy rolled his eyes. Some things never changed.
“Now shut up and lie on your front.” Jimmy complied and lay down on the bed, head resting on his arms. If Chazz had really done a course in sports massage, then maybe it wouldn’t be weird. And he could use a backrub right now. Chazz started to work the knots out of Jimmy’s shoulders, pressing the heels of his hands firmly into Jimmy’s shoulder blades. It was harder that Jimmy expected it to be and it made him yelp.
“Don’t be such a girl” said Chazz. “Anyway, this is stupid. You need to take your shirt off.”
Jimmy blanched. “I am not going to take my shirt off!”
“I can’t do this properly through that ridiculous satin shirt. You either take the shirt off or I go watch the boxing and you can lie here all knotted up. Your choice. Anyway, it’s not like I’ve never seen you without a shirt on.”
Jimmy was tempted to let Chazz go watch his stupid fight, but he really did want a massage now. So he took a deep breath and removed the pale blue shirt he was wearing.
“That’s better.” Chazz resumed working on Jimmy’s shoulders. It wasn’t any less painful without the shirt, but after a few minutes of Chazz grinding out the kinks in his arms, Jimmy started to relax. It did feel good. He closed his eyes while Chazz brushed firm strokes with his palms on either side of Jimmy’s spine. Then, without any warning, the movements became less clinical. Softer. Chazz was running the tips of his fingers down Jimmy’s arms and across the tops of his shoulders. Jimmy sighed.
“That’s it Princess. Let the Chazz take care of you.”
Jimmy wished Chazz wouldn’t talk. If he spoke, Jimmy would remember where he was and that the fluttery feeling in his stomach wasn’t really appropriate. And he didn’t want to think. He just wanted those beautiful hands to keep moving across his stressed flesh. Jimmy could feel his skin tingling where Chazz’s fingers brushed against him. He had to stifle a moan. This was so worth nearly being murdered for. Why did Jimmy keep having Hector to thank for stuff? Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all...
“Jimmy. Turn around.”
Jimmy had sunk into the mattress at this point; it felt as though Chazz had massaged his bones away, never mind the knots. He felt wonderful.
“Turn around.”
Jimmy turned over onto his back and looked up at his skating partner. Chazz’s cheeks were flushed and his lips were parted. His breathing was a little heavier than it needed to be. Surely giving a massage wasn’t that strenuous?
“Close your eyes.”
Yes, Sir. Jimmy thought. Anyone that could make him feel that relaxed was worth taking orders from. Jimmy vaguely wondered why he needed to be lying on his back when it happened. Chazz kissed him. And Jimmy kissed back. Chazz brushed his fingers into Jimmy’s hair and started to caress the back of his head. Jimmy cupped Chazz’s face in his hands and ran his tongue gently across Chazz’s bottom lip. This is wrong, this is wrong... I don’t care. Logical thought didn’t really enter Jimmy’s head when he was being kissed like that.
The kiss couldn’t have lasted more than a minute but Jimmy never wanted it to end. This was right. Kissing Katie never felt like this. She was welcome to Hawaii and her life in the stupid sun. Jimmy had this. Chazz pulled away and Jimmy opened his eyes. For a while, they just sat like that; looking at each other and not speaking, lips swollen and hair mussed up. Finally, as always, Chazz broke the silence.
“I’m not going to let some crazy asshole take my skating partner away from me. We’re a team, you and me.”
“You and I”, Jimmy corrected.
Chazz laughed and shook his head. “Go to sleep, MacElroy.” He got up to leave. Jimmy sat on the edge of the bed. “Chazz?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t leave me.”
“I swear to god, you are such a girl.” He lay down on the bed next to Jimmy. They woke up the next morning wrapped in each other’s arms.
CHAPTER FIVE - LEAVE THE SKATING TO THE PROFESSIONALS
The next morning found them on the ice, practicing a routine for a charity event, raising money for disadvantaged children. Jesse decided the routine needed the Iron Lotus included - after no one ended up being beheaded in the Wintersport Games he’d become quite a fan of the move - so Chazz and Jimmy had to spend a lot of time practicing, building up enough strength to be able to perform the throw without any fear. Jimmy had started repeating the phrase “Feel the fear and do it anyway” before every practice. Jimmy was a big fan of platitudes. ‘Inspirational phrases’, he called them. Chazz just called them annoying. They also had a real rink to practice in now, seeing as they were finally being taken as a serious pairs team, as opposed to a freak show. Coach and Chazz seemed to miss the cold storage freezer but Jimmy was suitably pleased to have a properly Zamboni’d rink with a real warm down room.
The practice was going beautifully. They had worked on the Iron Louts for a while, and were now warming down. Jimmy had just been glided into a Bielmann spin when he heard someone shouting at him.
“You go, Jimmy! Nail it! Whoo!”
Oh no, thought Jimmy. Hector. Great. He came out of the spin and was just about to tell Hector to get lost when he was nearly thrown backwards by a blur of gold tracksuit. Jimmy shook his head and looked at what was going on around him. He would have laughed if it wasn’t happening to him. Hector was wearing a replica of the costume from the Flash Gordon routine, complete with makeup and was skating toward Jimmy, arms outstretched. Chazz was speeding towards him, a look of thunder on his face.
“God dammit, you freak! I told you to stay away from him and what do you
do? You come to our practice session?! I am going to give you some serious pain right now!”
Hector was pretty fast on the ice, however, and managed to stay on course, skating over to where Jimmy was standing. Jimmy felt as though he were glued to the ice, he didn’t know what to do.
Hector was shouting at Jimmy, tears streaming down his face. “He can’t have you Jimmy, your mine! Look, I can skate! I’ll be your partner! Jimmy!”
By now, Chazz had managed to catch up to Hector and was chasing him round the ice rink; Jimmy was left standing in the middle of the ice watching his best friend chase his stalker in large circles round the ice. Coach was nowhere to be seen. He had left the rink when Hector had first come onto the ice. Please let him have called the police Jimmy silently begged. Chazz and Hector seemed to be having some sort of bizarre shouting match whilst skating.
“Jimmy, we can be awesome together! Trust me!” Hector shouted.
“Leave him alone!” Chazz shouted back.
“I love you Jimmy! I love you! He doesn’t love you!” Hector was screaming at this point. How he managed to keep his balance on the ice like that Jimmy would never know.
“YES I DO!” Chazz screamed in reply. Jimmy froze. He what?
Hector seemed to be just a shocked by this statement as Jimmy was. He finally lost his balance, caught the toepick of his skate on the ice and fell flat on his face, the speed of his fall sending him careening into the barrier. Chazz skated up to when Hector was lying on the ice and looked down at him.
“Get up.” Jimmy had never heard Chazz speak to someone with so much venom
in his voice. Not even when they were enemies. Hector pulled himself up into a standing position.
“Now get out of here and don’t ever come back or I will hurt you. A lot.”
“You’re lying.” Said Hector, wiping the tears from his cheeks.
“Try me.”
Hector looked over at Jimmy, then back again at Chazz. Chazz was breathing heavily and his fists were clenched. Without saying another word, he left the ice rink. After he had gone Jimmy skated over to Chazz.
“Are you OK?” he asked.
“I will be. Are you OK?” Chazz replied.
“I think so. Thank you. That was amazing.”
There was a silence which felt like it lasted hours when it could only have been a minute.
“I meant it.” Chazz said quietly.
Jimmy was afraid to ask. “Meant what?”
“I… God, I’ve never even said this to my own mother.” Chazz took a deep, shaky breath. “I love you.”
Jimmy’s heart leapt straight into his throat and started setting up home there. He could barely breathe, let alone speak.
“I… love you too Chazz. Really. I do.”
The two men stared at each other, neither wanting to break the silence. Jimmy decided it was now or never. He skated a little closer to the older man and threw his arms around his neck. Here goes nothing he thought as he hungrily pressed his lips to Chazz’s. They stood there, on the ice, locked into each other’s embrace. This was so right. This was where Jimmy belonged; in the arms of the only person who had ever really understood him. It was like a movie, Jimmy thought. Chazz was going to pick him up and carry him off into the sunset without even removing his skates. This was romance. Chasing your stalker off the ice and then kissing you like the world was going to end. This was it. And then…
“Oh my God!”
Crap. Coach. He would have walk in now wouldn’t he? Chazz and Jimmy
quickly let go of each other and skating to practically opposite ends of the ice, faces and burning and looking suitably embarrassed.
“What the hell is going on? I go to call the cops on that creep in the outfit and then I come back to you two… are you…?”
Chazz was the one to speak first. “We’re… um…” He was speechless.
“We’ve got a lot to talk about.” Jimmy said. This had been the strangest few days of his life and was going to take some explaining, but Jimmy was going to relish every minute of it.
THE END
Characters: Chazz, Jimmy, and Hector
Rating: R (for Slash - kissing)
Genre: Gen/Humor/Romance
Situation: Hector won't respect any restraining order and Jimmy still doesn't seem to take this dude seriously. As a possible threat to the Michaels/MacElroy team, Hector must be shooed away by a Chazz that isn't about to let his skating dreams fade away because of some love-sick puppy or his partner
Inclusions: Chazz chasing Hector off the ice would be nice
Word Count: 5,888 (I got them out of the toy box and they didn't want to go back in!)
My prompt was from Jmieso thank you for such a fun prompt!
High Fives and Fighting Crime by Hecate_12
CHAPTER ONE - POEMS FROM A SUPERFAN
Jimmy MacElroy, king of the ice
I want to hold you and hug you; that would be nice.
I would run my fingers through your sweet blond hair,
And you wouldn’t have to speak, you could just stare.
Jimmy, oh Jimmy, you could be mine,
And then we could go to Denny’s and have pancakes.
You know the blueberry kind where they put the syrup on the side?
I like to pick out the blueberries and spell out your name on the side of the plate.
Then I lick it.
Anyway, hope you like the poem. See you real soon.
Hector. xxx
“MacElroy, what the crap is this?” Chazz Michael Michaels shouted into Jimmy MacElroy’s ear as he read the letter he had opened over his shoulder.
“You don’t have to shout Chazz, you made me jump. It’s a poem. From Hector.” Jimmy folded the pink sheet of paper and put it into the trash.
“Who’s Hector?”
Jimmy sighed. “You know, my... kind of... stalker. I got a restraining order against him last year, but he still sends me stuff from time to time.”
“What kind of stuff?” Chazz asked.
“Flowers, teddy bears... and poetry.”
“Dude, that crap is not poetry. Trust me, I know. The Chazz man understands poetry. And this ain’t it. The last part doesn’t even rhyme! Man needs a copy of Let Me Put My Poems in You stat.”
Jimmy decided not to comment. He had read Chazz’s book of “poetry” and decided that the idea of sending Hector poorly punctuated - well, it could only really be described as soft porn - was not a good idea. He also really wanted to change the subject. He felt uncomfortable thinking about Hector if he was totally honest with himself. Anyway, if he just ignored it he was sure Hector would eventually get bored and pick on some other sports personality to fixate upon. Maybe Jimmy would get lucky and Hector would move back to the Ukraine.
Chazz walked past Jimmy and went into the living room, threw himself down onto the sofa (“If he breaks it, Coach will go nuts”, Jimmy thought) and turned on the TV set. “MacElroy, go get me a beer princess”.
“No way, beer’s full of calories, it’ll make you fat”
“It’ll make me soft and sexy and the ladies’ll love it.”
Jimmy snorted. “My god, you’re disgusting.”
“You love it MacElroy. Now beer me.” Jimmy sighed and grabbed a Budweiser from the fridge alongside a diet Coke for himself. He also grabbed a bag of Skittles from the cupboard. It was an old habit left over from childhood, but whenever Jimmy was feeling upset he would go straight for the Skittles. Maybe he just liked the fact the candy was always happy colours, unlike real food which was always so dull. Jimmy liked happy colours.
“Don’t worry about Hector, Chazz” Jimmy announced as he sat down on the couch next to his partner . “He’s annoying, but he’s harmless. He’s bound to get bored sometime and go away”.
“We’ll see.” Chazz replied, ominously.
CHAPTER TWO - NOT FROM HIS HEAD
“Ok, Jimmy, this is getting stupid now” Chazz strode into the living room wearing nothing but a towel and holding a letter in his hand.
“Chazz, how many more times do I have to tell you to put a robe on when you get out of the shower? I really don’t want to have to look at…”
“Shut up for a second, princess. What the hell is this?”
“What?”
“This! Your damn boyfriend is writing to you again! How the hell does he know where we live?” Chazz thrust another pink scented envelope in front of Jimmy’s face.
“My boy…? Hector? Chazz, he’s not my boyfriend douche bag, I’m not even gay for a start, and second of all, he’s harmless. Just ignore it and it’ll go away.”
Chazz threw the letter onto Jimmy’s lap. “It won’t just go away. We’ve only been back in the cabin for three weeks and he’s managed to send you a dumb scented letter EVERY GODDAMN DAY!”
“You don’t have to shout Chazz.” Jimmy picked up the pink envelope and opened it.
“What’s ol’ nutjob got to say then?” Chazz asked, leaning in to see the letter. Except it wasn’t a letter Hector had sent. It was…
“Hair. Lots of it.” Jimmy got up and went to put the envelope and its contents into the trash. Chazz looked up at Jimmy, an uncomfortable expression on his face. “Dude, do you think that even came from his head?”
Jimmy turned round “And what is that supposed to mean?”
“I’m just sayin’ maybe this guy shaved the old baloney pony and sent the results to you. Damn, that’s creepy as shit.”
“Don’t be disgusting Chazz. Hectors just a little… odd. Look, if it hadn’t been for him we wouldn’t even be skating together so maybe we should cut the guy some slack, huh?” Jimmy sat down on the couch and turned on the TV set.
“Slack? The freak show is sending you PUBES in the mail Princess, that’s fucked up right there!” Chazz sat down next to Jimmy and grabbed the remote from his hand. Jimmy cried “Hey, I was watching that!”
“MacElroy, I know you’re my brother and all, but there’s no goddamn way I’m sitting and watching another repeat of Golden Girls. Sorry, I’m out. Giraffe.”
“Giraffe?”
“Yeah, you know, like a safe word? Like when you’re screwing a really kinky chick and you need a word to let her know when…”
“Chazz! My god, you’re disgusting. I’m going to bed.” Jimmy left the living room and went into the bedroom, leaving Chazz alone with the TV and the leftover bucket of fried chicken that Jimmy refused to touch, let alone eat.
“Damn stalker freak. No-one messes with the Chazz man’s brother. Nobody” Chazz announced to the empty room.
CHAPTER THREE - THE CONTEST
“God, I’m so bored.” Chazz was complaining again.
“Well, isn’t there anything on the TV?” Jimmy asked. Chazz seemed to spend most of his time sitting in front of the television. When Jimmy was working out or finishing his cross stitch, Chazz would be sitting on his backside, staring at the goggle-box, bag of chips in one hand and a beer in the other.
“No, there isn’t. And I can’t handle watching another MacGyver marathon. There’s nothing to do here!” Jimmy rolled his eyes. Chazz might keep calling him ‘Princess’ but he was the one who was sounding an awful lot like a whiny girl right now.
“There’s lots to do. You haven’t been on the treadmill in ages. Get on that for a bit and work off the fat ass of yours.”
“Look, Princess, it’s not fat; it’s sexy ass padding. And I’m not going on the damn treadmill. Think of something else.”
“Why do I have to think of something? I’m not your babysitter!” Jimmy folded his arms in front of his chest.
“Aren’t you bored too?”
“No, I’m not. I’ve got plenty of things to do.”
“Like what?”
Jimmy thought. OK, so he was a bit bored, but he wasn’t going to back down now. “Like… read, or work out, or finish my…” He stopped. He didn’t really want to draw attention to the fact he liked to cross stitch.
“Finish your what? Your knitting?”
“It’s not knitting Chazz, it’s cross stitch. It’s relaxing and it’s good for your concentration. But you wouldn’t know about that would you? You can’t concentrate on anything for longer than five seconds.”
“I can! I can concentrate when I need to…” Chazz gave Jimmy one of those filthy winks that only meant one thing.
“God! Can’t you think about anything else? You sex… fiend!”
“You love it!”
Jimmy frowned and turned away from the man standing opposite him. “I do not love it! I have better things to do with my time!”
Chazz took a step closer toward Jimmy, grabbed his shoulders and spun him round. It was a nice spin. Jimmy had to resist the urge to throw his arms out to his arms in a flourish.
“Let’s go to the bar and get some women!”
“What? No! I’m not going to some skanky bar! And anyway, we have practice tomorrow; we can’t be up all night talking to strange women!”
“Who said anything about talking? Come on Jimmy, it’ll be great; we’ll be a team. I’ll be the tough guy and you can be the whiny girly friend. Girls love that shit.”
Jimmy was getting angry now. “I am not going to a bar with you Chazz. I’m not like that!”
“Listen, little lord MacElroy, you need to go out and get some tail. How long has it been since you broke up with Van Waldenburg? Five weeks? Mine’d fall off if I didn’t get any for five weeks!” He shook his head as though he was shaking water out his hair. “No, wait, I didn’t say that. It wouldn’t fall off. And anyway, I’m not having sex right now. Haven’t in ages. With anyone. God grant me the serenity...”
Jimmy interrupted. He didn’t need to hear another “Sex Addict’s Prayer” chanted under Chazz’s breath.
“Chazz, I do not need to ‘go get some tail’. Leave me alone.”
“Why’d she break with you anyway? Jealous that you’re prettier than her?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. We broke up because she just couldn’t go out with a figure skater. She said she’d had enough of the ice and with Stranz and Fairchild in prison she was going to move where there wasn’t any ice to be found. Hawaii, to be precise.” Jimmy remembered every word of what Katie had said when she’d broken up with him and broken his heart. It wasn’t supposed to happen that way. Jimmy had waited his whole life to get a girlfriend and then it lasted all of two weeks before she decided to dump him and move to another state. It wasn’t supposed to work like that. They were supposed to live happily ever after, like in the movies. Chazz and Jimmy won the gold and Jimmy won the girl. Except - he didn’t. Jimmy never won the girl .Jimmy was the girl. He felt himself beginning to crave Skittles. There weren’t any in the cabin. Dammit! When would Coach get back so he could go to the store a pick up a bag? Or ten.
“Hey, pretty lady! I’m talking here! Will you listen?” Chazz interrupted Jimmy’s train of thought. Lucky really, because if Jimmy didn’t get some candy soon he’d start climbing the walls.
“What?”
“I said, you need to remember what the Chazz man taught you. Get the kiss right and the clothes practically fall off the girl”. Jimmy remembered that conversation all too well. He had been determined to make sure the second time he kissed Katie it was better. The first time had been horrible. So he went to the one person who really knew about women. Chazz. Then followed one of most awkward conversations he’d ever had. Chazz seemed to get very excited about being to pass on his knowledge and had even gone as far as to draw diagrams in Jimmy’s blue notebook. The whole evening had left Jimmy with a funny fluttery feeling in his stomach. A feeling that wasn’t entirely unpleasant. He had found himself staring at Chazz’s lips a lot more after that evening.
“You were taught by the best, you shouldn’t let that knowledge go to waste. Let’s go out and get drunk and get some women.”
“No Chazz, that’s disgusting”.
Chazz mumbled something incoherent. “What was that?” Jimmy asked, sharply.
“I said, you probably suck at kissing anyway.”
“I so do not suck!”
“Yeah? I bet you do. I bet you suck her chin. That’s such a rookie mistake, Homeschool.”
Jimmy could feel his face getting hot. “I bet I could kiss better than you any day, Michaels. I wouldn’t start licking her face like you do”.
“Hey! I haven’t done that in a routine for a long time. The ladies love
the Chazz spit. That’s a precocious commodity.”
“It’s precious you douche, not precocious. And nobody wants to be licked.” At least, not on the face. On the neck maybe...
“Fine. You stick to your fancy pants wordage and your stupid movies about stupid robots, and I’ll go prove that Chazz Michael Michaels is sex on ice. Shame you’ll never be half the stud I am”.
“It’s not a stupid movie! And I could out stud you anytime!”
“Prove it!”
“How am I supposed to prove it, dingbat? There’s no girls here.”
Chazz looked around the empty cabin. “Well then you’ll just have to kiss me.”
Jimmy blanched. “Are you crazy?”
“No. I am very very drunk right now though. So, you gonna prove it? Or just sit in your My Little Pony pyjamas crying over the fact you can’t
kiss?”
The whole situation was making Jimmy extremely uncomfortable. There was nothing in the world that would make Jimmy MacElroy make out with the man standing in front him. Even if he had looked at Chazz’s naked torso for a little longer than was necessary after the older skater had gotten out of the shower. And anyway, he wasn’t looking at Chazz’s soft belly, or the trail of hair that ran down from his stomach into the towel wrapped around his middle. He was looking at the tattoo. On his arm. Yeah, that was it. The tattoo. Nope, nothing would make him Kiss Chazz. But then he said it.
“I guess I win then.”
Those magic words. James MacElory had been brought up - no -
manufactured to be a winner. He might be skating in a pairs team now but he still wanted to win every competition they entered. Jimmy aimed for gold, nothing less. In skating, in Monopoly, in Hungry Hippos, Jimmy played to win. But... this? Was this a contest Jimmy could win? Only one way to find out.
“OK.”
Now it was Chazz’s turn to go pale. “What?”
“I said OK. I’ll kiss you and prove to you that I can kiss well. Unless you’re chicken”.
“Fine. Come on then. Let’s go.” Chazz took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Jimmy moved towards the older man. It was now or never. He wished he was as drunk as Chazz was. Oh well, at least maybe Chazz wouldn’t remember this in the morning. And Jimmy had wondered what it would be like to kiss Chazz. At night time, when his thoughts had wandered and he’d found himself thinking about things his mind would never go near when he was fully awake. Jimmy closed his eyes and pressed his lips softly against Chazz’s.
Chazz’s lips were warm and dry. I keep telling him to use Chapstick the back of Jimmy’s mind supplied. The front of his brain was telling him to picture Katie, or the woman who worked in the candy store or anyone with breasts, but.... Chazz wasn’t lying. He really was very good at this. Chazz flicked his tongue out and slowly licked Jimmy’s bottom lip, prising his mouth open and deepening the kiss. Wait, this is going too far, we never said anything about tongues... oh! This was wonderful. Chazz tasted of scotch and beef Jerky and Jimmy wondered when was the last time the man had cleaned his teeth, but the small traitorous part of his brain told him to shut the hell up and enjoy the fantastic things that man was doing to Jimmy’s mouth. Jimmy threw caution to the wind and kissed back. He clashed tongues with Chazz and then it was all tongues and teeth and spit and then Jimmy’s mind shut down completely. He pressed his hands into the base of Chazz’s spine and felt his knees go weak. Chazz moaned and moved his mouth away from Jimmy’s and started to kiss his neck. Jimmy threw his head back and... Reality kicked back in. Kicked in wearing steel toe capped boots. Jimmy was kissing Chazz! With tongues! This was so beyond wrong! Jimmy took a deep breath and looked at Chazz. He was breathing heavily and his lips were swollen.
“I have to go.” Jimmy bolted for the bathroom and took the tube of toothpaste from the glass on the counter. What just happened? How do you go from a stupid argument about girls to making out with your best friend? Jimmy really wanted some Skittles badly. Bed. That was what he needed. Just to go to sleep and things would be clearer in the morning. And maybe Chazz could come to bed with me... No! That was a dangerous train of thought. Jimmy washed his face and got into bed. It was ok, no one had seen. Jimmy went to sleep secure in the knowledge that no one knew things had gone a bit too far with Chazz this evening. No one knew. Except for the person sitting in the bushes that neither Chazz nor Jimmy had seen. The one with the night vision goggles, the notebook and the peacock feathers glued to his jacket. Hector had seen it all.
CHAPTER FOUR - HIGH FIVE, JIMMY
Jimmy was watching another (in his opinion, excellent) episode of the Muppet Show when the doorbell rang. Jimmy frowned. Who was calling at this time of night? Coach was away for the weekend with Jesse and Chazz was at his sex addicts meeting; and anyway, neither of those people would ring the doorbell - they both had keys. Jimmy begrudgingly got up off the sofa and went to answer the door. He was not prepared for what he saw. Not in the slightest.
Hector was standing at the door wearing a pair of leather pants, a t-shirt which read “Stud Muffin - want a bite?” and the worst wig Jimmy had ever seen. It was shoulder length, vaguely curly and almost black. It also looked like it had made out of nylon. Jimmy swallowed hard.
“Hector? What are you doing here?”
Hector brushed a stray lock of fake hair out of his eyes. “I’m not Hector, I’m Chazz. BOOM! Lemme come in Jimmy. Boom!”
“Hector, this isn’t very funny and it’s getting really late. What are you doing here?”
“Jimmy, it’s me, Chazz. BOOM! Let’s go inside and get really drunk and do manly figure skating stuff together.”
Jimmy wondered at this point whether it might be safer to just play along for a bit. He was alone and here was a (in Chazz’s words) total nutjob wearing a crappy wig and doing an even crappier Southern accent pretending to be Chazz. Chazz wasn’t even from the south. Jimmy hoped Chazz would be home soon.
“Um... Chazz. What kind of manly skating stuff are we actually talking about here?” Jimmy closed the door a fraction, hoping Hector wouldn’t notice.
“Well, you know. Like... high five and low five and... makeoutandstuff. BOOM!”
Make out?! This guy really was crazy! “Hector, I never once made out with Chazz!" Jimmy lied. "And stop saying boom all the time! And take off that ridiculous wig!” Jimmy made to close the fully when Hector reached out a hand and stopped him.
“Jimmy , it doesn’t have to be like this! Chazz is taking you away from me! I can skate! You can skate with me! We can make beautiful music together and high five and fight crime! CRIME JIMMY! We can take on the world!”
“Hector get away from me! I have a restraining order against you!” Jimmy really had to fight for control of the door now. This was getting scary - where was Chazz? Jimmy heaved all of weight into his arms and tried desperately to pull the door away from Hector. He was losing, this guy was freakishly strong and Jimmy could smell the sweat coming from him. Why hadn’t he taken him more seriously? This was it wasn’t it? He was going to die on Coach’s front step; killed by a man dressed like his best friend. Jimmy felt tears welling up in his eyes. For some inexplicable reason the
only thought in his head was the hope he wouldn’t get blood on the Berber.
“GET AWAY FROM MY BROTHER YOU SICK PERVERT!”
Jimmy thought he would never be so pleased to hear Chazz’s voice. He looked up from the floor to see Chazz running towards Hector, picking him up and throwing him across the driveway. It was magnificent. He even ended with a flourish of the arms. Chazz really was figure skating through and through. He stormed through the front door, closed it and locked it and then turned to Jimmy.
“You OK princess?”
Jimmy took one look at the man standing in front of him and promptly crumpled on the floor in a dead faint.
~ ~ ~ ~
“Jimmy? Jimmy, are you ok? Can you hear me buddy?”
Jimmy cracked his eyes open to see the blurry figure of Chazz Michaels standing over him, wet flannel in his right hand. Jimmy looked around him. He was lying on the sofa with his Hello Kitty blanket draped over him. Chazz looked worried.
“What the hell happened to you? I go to one meeting with some very hot chicks that I am NOT allowed to touch - “ He shook his head “- and I come home to find you fighting with some wacko wearing a dead ferret on his head.”
Jimmy sat up a little. “It was Hector. He came round and was trying to pretend to be you. He wanted to come in and...”
“And what?”
Jimmy blushed. “And make out.”
Chazz placed the flannel back into the basin of cold water he had on the coffee table. “Why would he think dressing up like me would get you to make out with him? And more importantly, what the hell did he think I look like? That guy looked more like Chewbacca on a bad hair day than me. No one can close to looking like the Chazz. Perfection only happens once in a lifetime. You can come close, but you’ll never touch me. I’m sex on everything.” He brushed Jimmy hair and looked at his forehead. “You’re bleeding a bit. I’ll go get you a band-aid, Princess.”
Jimmy reached out a hand to stop him. “Chazz... Thank you.”
“Alright, calm down dude, it’s only a band-aid”.
“No, I mean... for helping me out. For everything.”
Chazz snorted. “Hey, take a deep breath there. If this was a movie and you were a girl, this is the part where we’d start kissing.” Jimmy swallowed, hard. His heart started beating a little faster. Did he want Chazz to kiss him again? He had a horrible feeling the answer might be yes.
Chazz spoke. “Come on, let’s get you into bed.” Jimmy’s heart leapt into his mouth. Ok, so he might have - maybe- wanted to kiss Chazz again, but going to bed together? That leap was terrifying. He opened his mouth in shock
“Wha... huh?”
Chazz grinned. “You look like shit and we’ve got practice tomorrow. Come on, Princess, up you get.”
Not going to bed together, then. That was a relief. At least, it should have been a relief, shouldn’t it? Jimmy was beginning to get confused again and his head was starting to hurt. Maybe getting some sleep was a good idea. He pushed the blanket off and went to pull himself up from the couch. He stretched his shoulders and heard what sounded like every bone in his body cracking simultaneously.
“Holy crap, MacElroy! Was that you? My god, you’re tense! Go lie down.”
“I was going to go lie down Crapweasel! And you’d be tense if someone in a bad... me costume tried to kill you!”
“That would be hilarious. Would they be wearing your sheep pyjamas?”
Jimmy glared. “It’s not funny, Chazz.” He started to make his way to the bedroom. Chazz followed him. Jimmy lay down on his bed and Chazz sat beside him.
“Now lie on your front.”
“What?”
“I said, lie down on your front. I’m going to give you a massage. If you’re that tense tomorrow you’ll skate like shit and then I’ll skate like shit.” Jimmy’s stomach flipped. A massage? The worry must have shown on his face because the next sentence that came out of Chazz’s mouth was
“Nothing fruity, I did a course in Sports Massage once.”
Jimmy was surprised. “Really?”
Chazz snorted. “Yeah. What, you’re the only one who’s allowed to be educated? I’m not a complete caveman, MacElroy.”
“I guess. Sorry.”
Chazz smiled. “Plus, I was boning the teacher at the time. She was very supple...”
Jimmy rolled his eyes. Some things never changed.
“Now shut up and lie on your front.” Jimmy complied and lay down on the bed, head resting on his arms. If Chazz had really done a course in sports massage, then maybe it wouldn’t be weird. And he could use a backrub right now. Chazz started to work the knots out of Jimmy’s shoulders, pressing the heels of his hands firmly into Jimmy’s shoulder blades. It was harder that Jimmy expected it to be and it made him yelp.
“Don’t be such a girl” said Chazz. “Anyway, this is stupid. You need to take your shirt off.”
Jimmy blanched. “I am not going to take my shirt off!”
“I can’t do this properly through that ridiculous satin shirt. You either take the shirt off or I go watch the boxing and you can lie here all knotted up. Your choice. Anyway, it’s not like I’ve never seen you without a shirt on.”
Jimmy was tempted to let Chazz go watch his stupid fight, but he really did want a massage now. So he took a deep breath and removed the pale blue shirt he was wearing.
“That’s better.” Chazz resumed working on Jimmy’s shoulders. It wasn’t any less painful without the shirt, but after a few minutes of Chazz grinding out the kinks in his arms, Jimmy started to relax. It did feel good. He closed his eyes while Chazz brushed firm strokes with his palms on either side of Jimmy’s spine. Then, without any warning, the movements became less clinical. Softer. Chazz was running the tips of his fingers down Jimmy’s arms and across the tops of his shoulders. Jimmy sighed.
“That’s it Princess. Let the Chazz take care of you.”
Jimmy wished Chazz wouldn’t talk. If he spoke, Jimmy would remember where he was and that the fluttery feeling in his stomach wasn’t really appropriate. And he didn’t want to think. He just wanted those beautiful hands to keep moving across his stressed flesh. Jimmy could feel his skin tingling where Chazz’s fingers brushed against him. He had to stifle a moan. This was so worth nearly being murdered for. Why did Jimmy keep having Hector to thank for stuff? Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all...
“Jimmy. Turn around.”
Jimmy had sunk into the mattress at this point; it felt as though Chazz had massaged his bones away, never mind the knots. He felt wonderful.
“Turn around.”
Jimmy turned over onto his back and looked up at his skating partner. Chazz’s cheeks were flushed and his lips were parted. His breathing was a little heavier than it needed to be. Surely giving a massage wasn’t that strenuous?
“Close your eyes.”
Yes, Sir. Jimmy thought. Anyone that could make him feel that relaxed was worth taking orders from. Jimmy vaguely wondered why he needed to be lying on his back when it happened. Chazz kissed him. And Jimmy kissed back. Chazz brushed his fingers into Jimmy’s hair and started to caress the back of his head. Jimmy cupped Chazz’s face in his hands and ran his tongue gently across Chazz’s bottom lip. This is wrong, this is wrong... I don’t care. Logical thought didn’t really enter Jimmy’s head when he was being kissed like that.
The kiss couldn’t have lasted more than a minute but Jimmy never wanted it to end. This was right. Kissing Katie never felt like this. She was welcome to Hawaii and her life in the stupid sun. Jimmy had this. Chazz pulled away and Jimmy opened his eyes. For a while, they just sat like that; looking at each other and not speaking, lips swollen and hair mussed up. Finally, as always, Chazz broke the silence.
“I’m not going to let some crazy asshole take my skating partner away from me. We’re a team, you and me.”
“You and I”, Jimmy corrected.
Chazz laughed and shook his head. “Go to sleep, MacElroy.” He got up to leave. Jimmy sat on the edge of the bed. “Chazz?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t leave me.”
“I swear to god, you are such a girl.” He lay down on the bed next to Jimmy. They woke up the next morning wrapped in each other’s arms.
CHAPTER FIVE - LEAVE THE SKATING TO THE PROFESSIONALS
The next morning found them on the ice, practicing a routine for a charity event, raising money for disadvantaged children. Jesse decided the routine needed the Iron Lotus included - after no one ended up being beheaded in the Wintersport Games he’d become quite a fan of the move - so Chazz and Jimmy had to spend a lot of time practicing, building up enough strength to be able to perform the throw without any fear. Jimmy had started repeating the phrase “Feel the fear and do it anyway” before every practice. Jimmy was a big fan of platitudes. ‘Inspirational phrases’, he called them. Chazz just called them annoying. They also had a real rink to practice in now, seeing as they were finally being taken as a serious pairs team, as opposed to a freak show. Coach and Chazz seemed to miss the cold storage freezer but Jimmy was suitably pleased to have a properly Zamboni’d rink with a real warm down room.
The practice was going beautifully. They had worked on the Iron Louts for a while, and were now warming down. Jimmy had just been glided into a Bielmann spin when he heard someone shouting at him.
“You go, Jimmy! Nail it! Whoo!”
Oh no, thought Jimmy. Hector. Great. He came out of the spin and was just about to tell Hector to get lost when he was nearly thrown backwards by a blur of gold tracksuit. Jimmy shook his head and looked at what was going on around him. He would have laughed if it wasn’t happening to him. Hector was wearing a replica of the costume from the Flash Gordon routine, complete with makeup and was skating toward Jimmy, arms outstretched. Chazz was speeding towards him, a look of thunder on his face.
“God dammit, you freak! I told you to stay away from him and what do you
do? You come to our practice session?! I am going to give you some serious pain right now!”
Hector was pretty fast on the ice, however, and managed to stay on course, skating over to where Jimmy was standing. Jimmy felt as though he were glued to the ice, he didn’t know what to do.
Hector was shouting at Jimmy, tears streaming down his face. “He can’t have you Jimmy, your mine! Look, I can skate! I’ll be your partner! Jimmy!”
By now, Chazz had managed to catch up to Hector and was chasing him round the ice rink; Jimmy was left standing in the middle of the ice watching his best friend chase his stalker in large circles round the ice. Coach was nowhere to be seen. He had left the rink when Hector had first come onto the ice. Please let him have called the police Jimmy silently begged. Chazz and Hector seemed to be having some sort of bizarre shouting match whilst skating.
“Jimmy, we can be awesome together! Trust me!” Hector shouted.
“Leave him alone!” Chazz shouted back.
“I love you Jimmy! I love you! He doesn’t love you!” Hector was screaming at this point. How he managed to keep his balance on the ice like that Jimmy would never know.
“YES I DO!” Chazz screamed in reply. Jimmy froze. He what?
Hector seemed to be just a shocked by this statement as Jimmy was. He finally lost his balance, caught the toepick of his skate on the ice and fell flat on his face, the speed of his fall sending him careening into the barrier. Chazz skated up to when Hector was lying on the ice and looked down at him.
“Get up.” Jimmy had never heard Chazz speak to someone with so much venom
in his voice. Not even when they were enemies. Hector pulled himself up into a standing position.
“Now get out of here and don’t ever come back or I will hurt you. A lot.”
“You’re lying.” Said Hector, wiping the tears from his cheeks.
“Try me.”
Hector looked over at Jimmy, then back again at Chazz. Chazz was breathing heavily and his fists were clenched. Without saying another word, he left the ice rink. After he had gone Jimmy skated over to Chazz.
“Are you OK?” he asked.
“I will be. Are you OK?” Chazz replied.
“I think so. Thank you. That was amazing.”
There was a silence which felt like it lasted hours when it could only have been a minute.
“I meant it.” Chazz said quietly.
Jimmy was afraid to ask. “Meant what?”
“I… God, I’ve never even said this to my own mother.” Chazz took a deep, shaky breath. “I love you.”
Jimmy’s heart leapt straight into his throat and started setting up home there. He could barely breathe, let alone speak.
“I… love you too Chazz. Really. I do.”
The two men stared at each other, neither wanting to break the silence. Jimmy decided it was now or never. He skated a little closer to the older man and threw his arms around his neck. Here goes nothing he thought as he hungrily pressed his lips to Chazz’s. They stood there, on the ice, locked into each other’s embrace. This was so right. This was where Jimmy belonged; in the arms of the only person who had ever really understood him. It was like a movie, Jimmy thought. Chazz was going to pick him up and carry him off into the sunset without even removing his skates. This was romance. Chasing your stalker off the ice and then kissing you like the world was going to end. This was it. And then…
“Oh my God!”
Crap. Coach. He would have walk in now wouldn’t he? Chazz and Jimmy
quickly let go of each other and skating to practically opposite ends of the ice, faces and burning and looking suitably embarrassed.
“What the hell is going on? I go to call the cops on that creep in the outfit and then I come back to you two… are you…?”
Chazz was the one to speak first. “We’re… um…” He was speechless.
“We’ve got a lot to talk about.” Jimmy said. This had been the strangest few days of his life and was going to take some explaining, but Jimmy was going to relish every minute of it.
THE END