OOC: YES I'M ON THE BANDWAGON.
THE TMI MEME
THE CLEAN(ISH) SECTION
Full name: Ironhide
Age: OLDER THAN DIRT. Hundreds of millions.
Birthdate: He was born before there were dates.
Sign: This.
Height: 25'
Weight: 5 tons
Scars: Everywhere. Even when he's human, he's covered in them. Most noticeable one is all over one side of his face, damaging one optic, even.
Piercings: None.
Tattoos: The Autobrand. On his tailgate. He's also got Cybertronian glyphs covering his head, inscribed on his hands... everywhere the scars aren't, he has writing.
Other bodily markings: ... He occasionally looks like a truck?
Build: Built like a tank. In either human or robot form, he resembles a linebacker. It's all muscle though, muscle and thick, heavy bones. Or armor and framework.
Occupation: Autobot Weapons Master, combat instructor.
Drinking? Yes. Often.
Smoking? Nope.
Other daily habits: He cleans his cannons, and shoots them. Every. Single. Day. Either that, or he goes punching bees. He has to do something physical, or he gets even crankier.
Hair: He doesn't usually have hair, but when he does, it's cut short and close to his head ... except for a random tail in the back he only keeps because Ratchet likes it.
Clothes: Again, he doesn't usually wear them, being a GIANT ALIEN ROBOT and all, but when he has to, it's all black leather and whatever random shirt he picks up off the floor. He really doesn't care about clothing, just that leather offers more protection than regular cloth. It's armor, sort of.
Scent: Gunpowder and energon, usually.
Other notable physical details: ... Giant alien robot? ... He walks with a slight limp?
Canon powers: ... Giant alien robot. Who can turn into a truck.
Spoken language(s): Pretty much everything available to learn on Earth.
Voice: Ironhide has a vague accent!
THE DIRTY(ISH) SECTION
Cup size/Penis size: Normally he does not have anything to speak of since what the hell does a robot need it for but. When he's human... average.
Size preference: He doesn't have one. He'd prefer someone near his own height and weight, since, with robots, that stuff's important for not crushing your partner.
Orientation: Robosexual.
Best sexual experience: Probably the first time he and Ratchet hooked up as robots. Yes, he is just that sappy. But don't let him hear you call him that.
Worst sexual experience: ... honestly it was probably the first time he and Ratchet ever did it ever. Because he really did think he hurt him.
Top or bottom? Depends on the form. Human, top. Robot, bottom - because, honestly, Ironhide is heavy. It just works better for all parties involved if he stays closer to gravity.
Favorite position? Doesn't have one.
Underwear: What is that.
Number one fantasy: Pretty much anything involving Ratchet. He's not all that creative.
Sensitive areas: His scars and his arms, where his cannons are housed. In human form, it's his scars, abs, and the tattoo on his lower back.
No-no places/triggers: ... Honestly, if you've gotten to this point with Ironhide, he trusts you enough to just let you go for it. Just don't try and fondle the cannons themselves.
Favorite place to have sex: With Ratchet.
Something they want to try but haven't before: There isn't really anything. He's satisfied with the way things are. Yes, he's boring.
Favorite kinks/sex acts: He's rough, and doesn't mind it in return at all. He also growls. A lot.
Sleep naked or in pajamas? Technically, naked. Since, you know. Robot.
Special talents: He's apparently good with finding sore spots. You know. Like... massage purposes. Probably because he has so many himself.
Masturbation: What is that. No. Seriously.
Toys? Nope.
Turn-ons: Neon armor. Hips. Having his scars touched - especially the one over his optic/eye.
What was their first time like? Forgettable, sadly enough. It was another soldier, who he really admired. The other 'bot ended up dead shortly thereafter in an explosion. So, it wasn't that the experience was bad, he just wants to forget it happened.
After-sex habits: He clings and sleeps for hours. Atomic bombs can't wake him up after.
Anything else? Don't bother trying anything unless your name is Ratchet - he's painfully monogamous that way.