[Watch out for that Spark, Shocks. Don't get too riled up. He's trying very hard to keep his hands where he can see them, as these look vaguely dangerous.]
Liar! This is your fault! Somehow! ... How do you even... do anything with these... claws!
Perhaps before I was engaged in a battle in the middle of a desert!
[He's having the same problem. If they weren't swapped, he'd be enjoying seeing the angry Shockwave.]
I am not! These are useless! What purpose can they possibly serve! There are scratches everywhere! And how should I know! Some kind of Decepticon trick--wreck my body!
... I did not get the chance. They took me here straight from the battlefield. And yes. That occurs when one is shot in the chest.
[It's mutual. Just that it's only funny when it doesn't happen to you.]
... If you have ruined that paintjob I swear I will end you. You have no inkling of what I went through to obtain it. It is not nearly as difficult as you are making it, just stop touching anything for now.
When we return to normal, I am taking you to the ship's medic myself. Is it stubbornness that has you this way, or paranoia that I will steal Mikaela if you so much as blink?
... Nothing polish cannot get rid of. A lot of... polish. And it is! They make irritating scraping sounds if I so much as attempt to touch anything.
You will do no such thing. Keep that... organic medical officer away from me and my internals! It is hardly what you think. Something a Decepticon would never understand.
Sat through Hook's butcher-work for how many cycles and then this... Just remain where you are, I will find you and assist you with this if only to keep you from accidentally butchering someone.
The medical officer is robotic. Beyond that there is always the chief engineering officer, who seemed to assist Frenzy and Bumblebee well enough. And I understand more than you give me credit for.
But I am not the one with claws, currently. I am in-route to remedy your clumsiness with my servos.
[There's something to be said for a ruthless Decepticon doing the speaking, too.]
You stubborn older models. I had not planned to take your body to either of them while I am stuck in it, either way. But your body will be returned to you in the state you left it in, if we ever get back to our own forms; there shall not be a single particle of paint missing.
No. You are the one with sensitive, personal upgrades that require personal maintenance. Far more important than any claws. Just lucky they took my cannons.
[Yeah, kind of, but it's nothing like some of the stuff Megatron has said.]
Good! It had best be! Or I will not be the only one to dismantle... something.
[While it probably can't be heard, Shockwave is rolling his borrowed optics.]
You are the one with complaints about my claws. If you wish to be able to open doors without gouging the knob or the wood, or to touch one of the organics without bleeding them, I am offering my assistance.
I could not very well operate without servos, could I? Besides, it's so very uncouth to use claws for combat.
[Truth.]
So, if your medibot does not arrive, will you stay as you are now?
[He can't roll his... reindeer... nose... thing, so he'll settle for growling.]
It would be best if you simply did not have such irritating appendages at all! And do not even begin to get me started on these... things... on your head.
Your fellow Decepticons do not agree with that sentiment.
[Pauses, obviously thinking that over.]
Yes. I will. I trust no other living being to see to my repairs.
Ironhide, I have to insist that you remove yourself from my body at once.
[There's no reason not be polite even when you're angry, right?]
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You get our of mine, first!
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If I knew how, I would have vacated already. When was the last time you had proper maintenance, for the love of Primus?
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Liar! This is your fault! Somehow! ... How do you even... do anything with these... claws!
Perhaps before I was engaged in a battle in the middle of a desert!
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You are just making it more difficult than it is. And why would I put myself in your body on purpose?
Perhaps you should see the medic about that. Your pain receptors keep cutting in and out; it's irritating.
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I am not! These are useless! What purpose can they possibly serve! There are scratches everywhere! And how should I know! Some kind of Decepticon trick--wreck my body!
... I did not get the chance. They took me here straight from the battlefield. And yes. That occurs when one is shot in the chest.
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... If you have ruined that paintjob I swear I will end you. You have no inkling of what I went through to obtain it. It is not nearly as difficult as you are making it, just stop touching anything for now.
When we return to normal, I am taking you to the ship's medic myself. Is it stubbornness that has you this way, or paranoia that I will steal Mikaela if you so much as blink?
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... Nothing polish cannot get rid of. A lot of... polish. And it is! They make irritating scraping sounds if I so much as attempt to touch anything.
You will do no such thing. Keep that... organic medical officer away from me and my internals! It is hardly what you think. Something a Decepticon would never understand.
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Sat through Hook's butcher-work for how many cycles and then this... Just remain where you are, I will find you and assist you with this if only to keep you from accidentally butchering someone.
The medical officer is robotic. Beyond that there is always the chief engineering officer, who seemed to assist Frenzy and Bumblebee well enough. And I understand more than you give me credit for.
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I do not care! He is not... not my medical officer! I will tolerate no other! Take my body near him and I will... I will...
Break yours.
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[He pauses for a long moment, voice lowering and tone taking on as much seriousness as he can muster.]
You wouldn't dare.
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[He's never realized he sounded like that before. He's a little impressed with himself.]
Keep my body away from that so-called medic, and we will not have an issue, then.
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[There's something to be said for a ruthless Decepticon doing the speaking, too.]
You stubborn older models. I had not planned to take your body to either of them while I am stuck in it, either way. But your body will be returned to you in the state you left it in, if we ever get back to our own forms; there shall not be a single particle of paint missing.
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[Yeah, kind of, but it's nothing like some of the stuff Megatron has said.]
Good! It had best be! Or I will not be the only one to dismantle... something.
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You are the one with complaints about my claws. If you wish to be able to open doors without gouging the knob or the wood, or to touch one of the organics without bleeding them, I am offering my assistance.
I could not very well operate without servos, could I? Besides, it's so very uncouth to use claws for combat.
[Truth.]
So, if your medibot does not arrive, will you stay as you are now?
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It would be best if you simply did not have such irritating appendages at all! And do not even begin to get me started on these... things... on your head.
Your fellow Decepticons do not agree with that sentiment.
[Pauses, obviously thinking that over.]
Yes. I will. I trust no other living being to see to my repairs.
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