The Minor Fall, the Major Lift
Title: the minor fall, the major lift
Author: heavyhart
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Ryan/always-a-girl!Brendon
Summary: Bren needs money so she asks Ryan to help her do something.
Notes: 3,500 words. I know nothing about how shit works in the porn industry, alas, and all mistakes herein are entirely my own.
"You actually came!" Bren says happily when she opens the door, throwing her arms around Ryan's neck and hugging him tightly, just like she always does. "You showered, right?" She goes to smell his neck and he pushes past her, into her apartment.
"I showered this morning, thanks. What's the emergency?"
"It's less of an emergency and more of a highly sensitive matter?" Bren replies, her voice sounding a little off as she closes the door.
Ryan turns around, crossing his arms. "Bren, what is it?" She's fidgeting, not quite meeting Ryan's eyes.
"Ineedyoutohelpmeshootaporno."
Ryan blinks. "The only word I heard sounded like 'porno.'"
Bren sighs in exasperation and leans back against the wall. "I've been working double shifts, as you know. And going to school. I study in between shifts and nap between classes and I barely have enough time to shower, or enough money to buy food, or enough energy to even try on my tests." Ryan's chest aches at her words and he opens his mouth to talk but Bren holds up a hand, continuing. "I talked to this girl in one of my classes and she gave me this website and told me they were legit because she's done stuff for them before and. And if I film a porno and send it in I'll get $1,500. He said he'd up it to $2,000 if I got fucked in the ass, but I don't think I'm quite ready for that," she adds, wrinkling her nose.
Ryan just stares at her. "And I'm here to tell you this is a stupid idea, right? Because this is a really fucking stupid idea." Ryan can't help how angry he sounds.
Bren bites her lip and Ryan tries not to notice. "I need the money, Ry. You know that. I'm going to do this whether you help me or not, but... I was hoping you'd be the guy. In the film."
"The guy."
"You know, the guy to fuck me. It wouldn't have to be anything kinky!" Bren adds quickly when Ryan's jaw drops open.
"You're. Why are you asking me?"
"Because you have a big dick," Bren says nonchalantly. If anything, Ryan's eyes get wider and Bren just smiles. "Because I trust you," she says quietly, her warm, brown eyes looking into Ryan's. Something twists in his chest and he nods, taking a deep breath.
"I'm only agreeing to this because I know how fucking stubborn you are, and I'd rather... I'd rather it be me than some stranger." Ryan tries to squash the anger building up in his chest--that Bren is forced to do this at all, that it could be some douchebag in his place. His fists are white from clenching them tightly when Bren steps forward, grabbing his hands and frowning.
"Stop it. You're doing that... protective thing. You're supposed to want to fuck me, okay?" Ryan flinches at her words and her frown turns into a weak smile. "I mean, is it that hard to pretend you want to?" Her voice is quiet and Ryan can see how fragile she is, how she's still just a 17-year-old girl who gave up everything when she ran away from home. He swallows, looking down at their hands.
"Bren, that's not it at all. You're--I have no problem seeing you like that, but. We're friends. I shouldn't--"
Bren steps forward and grabs the collar of Ryan's shirt, yanking him down and kissing him hard on the lips. Ryan's arms flail a little but then he returns the kiss, moving his lips with Bren. She pulls back, blushing brightly with a determined look on her face.
Ryan licks his lips. "Have you ever--"
"Um, no," Bren says quietly. "That was. My first. You're not going to be weird about this, are you?"
Ryan's head is a little dizzy. "If that was your first, then... are you--"
"Yes," Bren says quickly, moving over to mess with the camera that's on a couple of boxes next to her mattress, making sure it's set up right. "But it's not a problem! I already, um. With my hairbrush. The handle, I mean, I--"
"Holy shit," Ryan breathes, sitting down on the mattress. "Bren. Do you really want your first time to end up on some website for guys to jerk off to?"
"Girls watch porn too," Bren mutters, her cheeks still red. "And it's not that big of a deal to me, you know? It was, back when I was a freshmen and my sister talked me into wearing a promise ring. But now it's just... well, like I said." She steps away from the camera, crossing her arms over her chest. "I already lost it to my hairbrush, anyway."
Ryan laughs weakly. "This is going to come back to fuck us in the ass when we get famous."
Bren rolls her eyes. "No fucking in the ass, remember? I'll try and keep my hair over my face. And the lighting is shitty, anyway." She walks over to Ryan and bounces nervously on her feet. "So, um. Let's do this thing?"
Ryan actually looks at her, beautiful even (no, especially) in sweatpants and a t-shirt, her dark hair and red glasses, her curvy hips and slender torso. She's nervous, he can tell, because that's the only time she does the feet-bouncing thing. She's young--and who is he kidding, they're both young--and this is stupid, and Ryan's determined to make it good for her.
"Are you sure about this?"
Bren nods after a second. "Yeah. Yes."
"Okay then. Do you have--"
"I have condoms over there," Bren says quickly, pointing next to the bed. "And anyway, you're supposed to pull out right before and come all over my tits."
Ryan thinks something inside of him might have just died, right then.
"Oh, come on! Like you haven't seen amateur porn before!" Bren says. "Either my tits or my mouth. And remember to switch positions every once in a while, they like that."
Ryan rubs his face. "Right. Got it. Can we just... get this over with?"
"Don't sound too excited," Bren mumbles, taking her glasses off and walking over to the camera. "As soon as I turn this on, we need to get into porn-mode, okay? Please try not to say my name, although I can edit it out if you do. Um, we can both get undressed first, then I'll blow you--and don't worry, I practiced that one on my hairbrush too--and just stop me before you come so we can have sex. Try to hold out so we can at least do a few minutes in a couple of different positions, okay?"
Ryan takes off his socks and shoes, shaking his head. "You're a little too impassive about this."
Bren rolls her eyes. "Okay, ready? Aaand action!" Bren presses the record button on the camera and walks over to Ryan, kissing him quickly on the mouth and then pulling back so she can grab the hem of her shirt, lifting it up and throwing it aside.
Ryan only has a second to glance at her polka-dot bra before she's pulling at his shirt. He lifts his arms up and she pulls it off, throwing it aside as well. She's moving quickly but he can still tell that her fingers are shaking when her hands sneak down to try and work the button on his jeans.
Ryan takes a deep breath and reaches around her, trying to forget about the camera as he unhooks the clasp of her bra, letting it slide down her shoulders. He can see her small, peaked nipples where the bra's slid down and he lifts his hips, letting her tug off his jeans and boxers, watching as Bren slides off her own sweatpants and underwear, shrugging out of her bra.
And just like that, they're both naked. Before Ryan can gawk at her - breasts all pale and soft and round, how smooth the rest of her skin is, the little freckles that dust her neck and thighs - he loops his arms around her back and pulls her close to him, kissing her slowly. Bren kisses back, slow but sure about this part, her hand moving between them to wrap her fist around his cock.
Ryan's fingers dig into the soft skin of her back a little and he kisses her harder, opening his mouth and running his tongue along the seam of her lips. She opens her mouth too, carefully, and her hand tightens around his cock when he slides his tongue past her lips, into her mouth.
"Oh, fuck," Ryan swears, and Bren pulls back, kneeling down on the mattress so she can take his cock into her mouth, her hand still gripping him from the base of his cock.
Ryan groans, temporarily forgetting about the camera and watching as Bren moves her tongue over the head of his cock, teasing while staring up at him from beneath her eyelashes. He's seen her lips pressed to a microphone like that as she kisses the head of his cock, but the dark, seductive look in her eyes - that's new. Ryan doesn't know if he likes it, doesn't know if it makes this easier to do or harder to forget who he's doing it with.
Bren starts to bob her head up and down the length of his cock, sucking around him like she's done it a dozen times before. Ryan threads his fingers into her hair carefully, keeping his hips still as she takes more into her mouth, gagging herself on him. He stares down at her and notices her eyes watering up a little but otherwise she keeps going, pulling back so she can suck around his cock again.
Bren keeps up that same pace for a few more minutes before Ryan's tugging sharply at her hair. He's glad she gets the hint and pulls off, and doesn't just think he's being rough with her, because Ryan - he'd do anything to help her, anything, but he could never hurt her.
Bren grabs a condom from the box and pushes Ryan down on his back on the mattress. He sits up on his elbows and watches while she rolls the condom down over his cock, slowly so it doesn't tear. She leans down far enough at one point that he can feel her nipples brush his thighs and he shivers, reaching down for her. She looks up at him and gives him a quick, brave smile, crawling up his body.
From her surprised gasp Bren isn't expecting it, then, when Ryan rolls them over so she's lying down beneath him, looking up at him with wide eyes. Ryan kisses her mouth hard, lips trailing over her neck and up to her ear so he can whisper, "My turn."
Bren can't help it when she squirms a little underneath him as he kisses down her body, his wet lips trailing over her warm skin. He kisses the freckles on her neck and above her breasts, he sucks lightly at her nipples until her hips are arching up and she's making soft noises that urge Ryan on.
He kisses down her stomach, licking at the dip of her bellybutton and then finally moving between her legs. He can feel her go still, legs probably only open because he's holding them open, refusing to let her shy away. Before Bren has the chance to protest, though, Ryan presses the flat of his tongue to her and licks right up over her clit, eyes glancing up at her face when he feels her shudder beneath him.
Bren doesn't push him away so Ryan spreads her legs further apart, hesitating for a second when he remembers the camera but not letting that stop him. He moves his tongue back over her, flicking it steadily over her clit when he hears her soft gasp.
Ryan sucks at Bren's clit, sliding his tongue down to slip inside her. He can't pretend it doesn't turn him on, just knowing he's the first person to ever do this to her, make her twist in pleasure while he mouths at her clit. She deserves so much better - better than him, better than this. But he can still try to make it good for her.
Ryan slowly works two slender fingers inside her, the heat burning low in his stomach at how tight she around them. He moves them up inside while he sucks at her clit, closing his eyes and listening to the breathy noises she makes, the way her hips jerk as she comes.
Ryan sits up and brushes the back of his hand over his mouth, grinning down at her, painfully aware of how hard he is when she tosses him a quick look and pushes him back down, positioning herself over his cock. She slides down slowly (and Ryan can see how wet she is, almost dripping with it, and it makes him throb in anticipation) and Ryan watches her, watches the way her legs are still trembling and the way her breasts rise and fall when she takes deep breaths, determined to fit him all the way inside herself.
When their bodies finally meet, Bren's hands braced on Ryan's chest, she lets out a shaky breath and starts working herself up and down like this isn't the first time she's had a cock inside her, like she isn't still adjusting to being so full.
Ryan reaches out to hold her hips as she moves, starting a rhythm of pushing back on his cock, riding him slowly. He lets one hand trail up to touch her breast and her eyes flicker up at him, unable to suppress a quiet moan when Ryan rubs his thumb over her nipple, moving his hips slowly to meet hers. She's flushed and beautiful like this, naked under his gaze in more ways than one.
"Faster," Bren moans, even though Ryan can't tell if she's ready for it or just thinking about the camera. He starts thrusting quickly up into her, meeting her hips when she pushes back down against him and moans, quiet and amazing because, Ryan realizes, she isn't faking that. She may be faking everything else, but those noises are all involuntary, as far as he can tell.
Bren is hot and blindingly tight around his cock so he grabs her hips, sitting up and nudging her onto her knees to change the position. He squeezes the base of his cock hard before pushing into her again, slowly, leaning over her and thrusting inside.
It feels wrong this way, somehow, when he can't see her face, just the long, pale expanse of her back. It reminds him of the presence of the camera again, filming each movement and sound. She pushes back into his thrusts eagerly and Ryan can feel how deep he's pressing in, how hard she's breathing, her skin flushed and warm.
It's only minutes later and he's pulling out, gently holding her hips and laying her down on her back, pushing her legs up so he can press inside again, where she's wet and open for him.
Her muscles don't clench down as painfully tight as when they first started and her wetness makes it an easy slide, which Ryan hopes is a good thing. He can feel the way the heat coils low in his stomach, getting close, and he squeezes the base of his cock again.
"Hey," Bren says softly, and Ryan didn't even realize he had his eyes closed. He opens them, blinking at her flushed face beneath him just in time to see her surge up, kissing him hard on the mouth. He kisses back, reaching between them with the hand not holding her leg up to rub over her clit, where their bodies meet. Bren just kisses harder, opening her mouth and grabbing his shoulders while he twists his hips against her, fucking down into her.
She bites his lip and Ryan shakes his head, whispers, "I have to--" and pulls back from her. Bren is quick, writhing in pleasure from Ryan's fingers over her clit one moment and sitting up on her knees in front of him the next, pulling the condom off and jerking him quickly. Ryan closes his eyes and groans when he comes, can't bear to watch as she mouths at his cock through each wet spurt, her small hand slowing as he finishes. Her fingers dig into his skin, however, and when he does open his eyes he can see her face all flushed and striped in come, and god, Ryan's heart twists even though she's still the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, even like this.
Ryan falls down to his knees (and it's not hard, still shaky after his orgasm) and quickly kisses her, licking his come off her face and sliding his fingers back down between her legs.
Bren gasps out against his mouth and her hips twist while he rubs her clit, sliding three fingers easily inside. He kisses her and kisses her, like it could actually make up for everything they just did, and when she finally comes her head tilts back and she moans, clutching Ryan's arms tightly as her body spasms around his fingers.
Ryan's kissing Bren again when she comes down from her orgasm and tries to reach over to turn the camera off. She laughs when he won't let go, pushing at his chest until she manages to press the 'stop' button, collapsing back on the bed.
Bren makes to grab her clothes but then Ryan's pulling her back into his arms. She laughs a little until she realizes he's not playing, just hugging her tightly. She goes still and then hugs back, feeling silly with her breasts pressed to his chest but mostly just feeling confused.
"Ry?"
Ryan pulls back, kissing her one last time. "I'm so sorry," he says, and he can tell that looking at his eyes, Bren can see the sadness, knows that he means it.
"Ryan," she tells him in a stern voice, taking his hands in hers. "I just asked you to have sex with me. This isn't the end of the world, okay? Nothing's different." Just as Bren says it she winces, shifting a little where she's sitting on the mattress. "Well, except my vagina is sore like a motherfucker." Ryan gets a horrified expression on his face and Bren laughs.
"Oh my god, stop it." She puts her arms over his shoulders again and Ryan loses his balance, falling back on the bed. The naked thing doesn't bother them quite as much now, not when they're both tired and a little sweaty.
"Stay," Bren says, leaning her head on Ryan's shoulder. Ryan slowly wraps his arms around her waist, like he's afraid to touch her bare skin now.
"You're sure?"
"Yep," Bren replies with a yawn, nuzzling her cheek against Ryan's skin.
Ryan sighs, resting his chin on top of her hair. "Okay."
-
"Stop. Press stop, please, Ryan, I--"
Ryan quickly finds the button and pauses the video, turning to where Bren's face is pale, except for the spots of red on her cheeks. She looks like she wants to cry but her eyes are dry, and Ryan sets the camera down and hugs her, tightly, stroking his hand over her hair. She pulled on a t-shirt when she woke up but her legs are still bare, and he's still naked as she buries her face into his chest.
"Are you okay?" Ryan asks quietly, after a moment.
"I can't do this," Bren says, sitting up and wiping at her eyes, even though they're still dry. "I thought I could, but - it's me in that video. Me and you. Ry, I don't want anyone else to see that."
"Hey, Bren, no one has to see it, okay? You can delete this video right now. There are other ways to make money. You - I'm not telling you how to live your life, but fuck, I would be really happy if you didn't go through with this."
Bren smiles, looking up at Ryan's face, her cheeks still a little red. "You don't mind that you, um. Wasted that. On me?" Bren finishes in a small voice, and Ryan cups her face and gives her the sternest look he can when his chest just feels tight from caring about her so much.
"You're an idiot, Bren. A gorgeous one. But an idiot."
Bren huffs and Ryan kisses her softly, feeling the way she relaxes against his mouth reluctantly, moving her lips with his. When Ryan pulls back, her eyes are still closed and it takes a lot to stop him from kissing her again.
"Promise me you're okay? And we can delete this video?"
Bren nods. "Can we, umm. Can we keep kissing?"
Ryan smiles and leans back down.
Author: heavyhart
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Ryan/always-a-girl!Brendon
Summary: Bren needs money so she asks Ryan to help her do something.
Notes: 3,500 words. I know nothing about how shit works in the porn industry, alas, and all mistakes herein are entirely my own.
"You actually came!" Bren says happily when she opens the door, throwing her arms around Ryan's neck and hugging him tightly, just like she always does. "You showered, right?" She goes to smell his neck and he pushes past her, into her apartment.
"I showered this morning, thanks. What's the emergency?"
"It's less of an emergency and more of a highly sensitive matter?" Bren replies, her voice sounding a little off as she closes the door.
Ryan turns around, crossing his arms. "Bren, what is it?" She's fidgeting, not quite meeting Ryan's eyes.
"Ineedyoutohelpmeshootaporno."
Ryan blinks. "The only word I heard sounded like 'porno.'"
Bren sighs in exasperation and leans back against the wall. "I've been working double shifts, as you know. And going to school. I study in between shifts and nap between classes and I barely have enough time to shower, or enough money to buy food, or enough energy to even try on my tests." Ryan's chest aches at her words and he opens his mouth to talk but Bren holds up a hand, continuing. "I talked to this girl in one of my classes and she gave me this website and told me they were legit because she's done stuff for them before and. And if I film a porno and send it in I'll get $1,500. He said he'd up it to $2,000 if I got fucked in the ass, but I don't think I'm quite ready for that," she adds, wrinkling her nose.
Ryan just stares at her. "And I'm here to tell you this is a stupid idea, right? Because this is a really fucking stupid idea." Ryan can't help how angry he sounds.
Bren bites her lip and Ryan tries not to notice. "I need the money, Ry. You know that. I'm going to do this whether you help me or not, but... I was hoping you'd be the guy. In the film."
"The guy."
"You know, the guy to fuck me. It wouldn't have to be anything kinky!" Bren adds quickly when Ryan's jaw drops open.
"You're. Why are you asking me?"
"Because you have a big dick," Bren says nonchalantly. If anything, Ryan's eyes get wider and Bren just smiles. "Because I trust you," she says quietly, her warm, brown eyes looking into Ryan's. Something twists in his chest and he nods, taking a deep breath.
"I'm only agreeing to this because I know how fucking stubborn you are, and I'd rather... I'd rather it be me than some stranger." Ryan tries to squash the anger building up in his chest--that Bren is forced to do this at all, that it could be some douchebag in his place. His fists are white from clenching them tightly when Bren steps forward, grabbing his hands and frowning.
"Stop it. You're doing that... protective thing. You're supposed to want to fuck me, okay?" Ryan flinches at her words and her frown turns into a weak smile. "I mean, is it that hard to pretend you want to?" Her voice is quiet and Ryan can see how fragile she is, how she's still just a 17-year-old girl who gave up everything when she ran away from home. He swallows, looking down at their hands.
"Bren, that's not it at all. You're--I have no problem seeing you like that, but. We're friends. I shouldn't--"
Bren steps forward and grabs the collar of Ryan's shirt, yanking him down and kissing him hard on the lips. Ryan's arms flail a little but then he returns the kiss, moving his lips with Bren. She pulls back, blushing brightly with a determined look on her face.
Ryan licks his lips. "Have you ever--"
"Um, no," Bren says quietly. "That was. My first. You're not going to be weird about this, are you?"
Ryan's head is a little dizzy. "If that was your first, then... are you--"
"Yes," Bren says quickly, moving over to mess with the camera that's on a couple of boxes next to her mattress, making sure it's set up right. "But it's not a problem! I already, um. With my hairbrush. The handle, I mean, I--"
"Holy shit," Ryan breathes, sitting down on the mattress. "Bren. Do you really want your first time to end up on some website for guys to jerk off to?"
"Girls watch porn too," Bren mutters, her cheeks still red. "And it's not that big of a deal to me, you know? It was, back when I was a freshmen and my sister talked me into wearing a promise ring. But now it's just... well, like I said." She steps away from the camera, crossing her arms over her chest. "I already lost it to my hairbrush, anyway."
Ryan laughs weakly. "This is going to come back to fuck us in the ass when we get famous."
Bren rolls her eyes. "No fucking in the ass, remember? I'll try and keep my hair over my face. And the lighting is shitty, anyway." She walks over to Ryan and bounces nervously on her feet. "So, um. Let's do this thing?"
Ryan actually looks at her, beautiful even (no, especially) in sweatpants and a t-shirt, her dark hair and red glasses, her curvy hips and slender torso. She's nervous, he can tell, because that's the only time she does the feet-bouncing thing. She's young--and who is he kidding, they're both young--and this is stupid, and Ryan's determined to make it good for her.
"Are you sure about this?"
Bren nods after a second. "Yeah. Yes."
"Okay then. Do you have--"
"I have condoms over there," Bren says quickly, pointing next to the bed. "And anyway, you're supposed to pull out right before and come all over my tits."
Ryan thinks something inside of him might have just died, right then.
"Oh, come on! Like you haven't seen amateur porn before!" Bren says. "Either my tits or my mouth. And remember to switch positions every once in a while, they like that."
Ryan rubs his face. "Right. Got it. Can we just... get this over with?"
"Don't sound too excited," Bren mumbles, taking her glasses off and walking over to the camera. "As soon as I turn this on, we need to get into porn-mode, okay? Please try not to say my name, although I can edit it out if you do. Um, we can both get undressed first, then I'll blow you--and don't worry, I practiced that one on my hairbrush too--and just stop me before you come so we can have sex. Try to hold out so we can at least do a few minutes in a couple of different positions, okay?"
Ryan takes off his socks and shoes, shaking his head. "You're a little too impassive about this."
Bren rolls her eyes. "Okay, ready? Aaand action!" Bren presses the record button on the camera and walks over to Ryan, kissing him quickly on the mouth and then pulling back so she can grab the hem of her shirt, lifting it up and throwing it aside.
Ryan only has a second to glance at her polka-dot bra before she's pulling at his shirt. He lifts his arms up and she pulls it off, throwing it aside as well. She's moving quickly but he can still tell that her fingers are shaking when her hands sneak down to try and work the button on his jeans.
Ryan takes a deep breath and reaches around her, trying to forget about the camera as he unhooks the clasp of her bra, letting it slide down her shoulders. He can see her small, peaked nipples where the bra's slid down and he lifts his hips, letting her tug off his jeans and boxers, watching as Bren slides off her own sweatpants and underwear, shrugging out of her bra.
And just like that, they're both naked. Before Ryan can gawk at her - breasts all pale and soft and round, how smooth the rest of her skin is, the little freckles that dust her neck and thighs - he loops his arms around her back and pulls her close to him, kissing her slowly. Bren kisses back, slow but sure about this part, her hand moving between them to wrap her fist around his cock.
Ryan's fingers dig into the soft skin of her back a little and he kisses her harder, opening his mouth and running his tongue along the seam of her lips. She opens her mouth too, carefully, and her hand tightens around his cock when he slides his tongue past her lips, into her mouth.
"Oh, fuck," Ryan swears, and Bren pulls back, kneeling down on the mattress so she can take his cock into her mouth, her hand still gripping him from the base of his cock.
Ryan groans, temporarily forgetting about the camera and watching as Bren moves her tongue over the head of his cock, teasing while staring up at him from beneath her eyelashes. He's seen her lips pressed to a microphone like that as she kisses the head of his cock, but the dark, seductive look in her eyes - that's new. Ryan doesn't know if he likes it, doesn't know if it makes this easier to do or harder to forget who he's doing it with.
Bren starts to bob her head up and down the length of his cock, sucking around him like she's done it a dozen times before. Ryan threads his fingers into her hair carefully, keeping his hips still as she takes more into her mouth, gagging herself on him. He stares down at her and notices her eyes watering up a little but otherwise she keeps going, pulling back so she can suck around his cock again.
Bren keeps up that same pace for a few more minutes before Ryan's tugging sharply at her hair. He's glad she gets the hint and pulls off, and doesn't just think he's being rough with her, because Ryan - he'd do anything to help her, anything, but he could never hurt her.
Bren grabs a condom from the box and pushes Ryan down on his back on the mattress. He sits up on his elbows and watches while she rolls the condom down over his cock, slowly so it doesn't tear. She leans down far enough at one point that he can feel her nipples brush his thighs and he shivers, reaching down for her. She looks up at him and gives him a quick, brave smile, crawling up his body.
From her surprised gasp Bren isn't expecting it, then, when Ryan rolls them over so she's lying down beneath him, looking up at him with wide eyes. Ryan kisses her mouth hard, lips trailing over her neck and up to her ear so he can whisper, "My turn."
Bren can't help it when she squirms a little underneath him as he kisses down her body, his wet lips trailing over her warm skin. He kisses the freckles on her neck and above her breasts, he sucks lightly at her nipples until her hips are arching up and she's making soft noises that urge Ryan on.
He kisses down her stomach, licking at the dip of her bellybutton and then finally moving between her legs. He can feel her go still, legs probably only open because he's holding them open, refusing to let her shy away. Before Bren has the chance to protest, though, Ryan presses the flat of his tongue to her and licks right up over her clit, eyes glancing up at her face when he feels her shudder beneath him.
Bren doesn't push him away so Ryan spreads her legs further apart, hesitating for a second when he remembers the camera but not letting that stop him. He moves his tongue back over her, flicking it steadily over her clit when he hears her soft gasp.
Ryan sucks at Bren's clit, sliding his tongue down to slip inside her. He can't pretend it doesn't turn him on, just knowing he's the first person to ever do this to her, make her twist in pleasure while he mouths at her clit. She deserves so much better - better than him, better than this. But he can still try to make it good for her.
Ryan slowly works two slender fingers inside her, the heat burning low in his stomach at how tight she around them. He moves them up inside while he sucks at her clit, closing his eyes and listening to the breathy noises she makes, the way her hips jerk as she comes.
Ryan sits up and brushes the back of his hand over his mouth, grinning down at her, painfully aware of how hard he is when she tosses him a quick look and pushes him back down, positioning herself over his cock. She slides down slowly (and Ryan can see how wet she is, almost dripping with it, and it makes him throb in anticipation) and Ryan watches her, watches the way her legs are still trembling and the way her breasts rise and fall when she takes deep breaths, determined to fit him all the way inside herself.
When their bodies finally meet, Bren's hands braced on Ryan's chest, she lets out a shaky breath and starts working herself up and down like this isn't the first time she's had a cock inside her, like she isn't still adjusting to being so full.
Ryan reaches out to hold her hips as she moves, starting a rhythm of pushing back on his cock, riding him slowly. He lets one hand trail up to touch her breast and her eyes flicker up at him, unable to suppress a quiet moan when Ryan rubs his thumb over her nipple, moving his hips slowly to meet hers. She's flushed and beautiful like this, naked under his gaze in more ways than one.
"Faster," Bren moans, even though Ryan can't tell if she's ready for it or just thinking about the camera. He starts thrusting quickly up into her, meeting her hips when she pushes back down against him and moans, quiet and amazing because, Ryan realizes, she isn't faking that. She may be faking everything else, but those noises are all involuntary, as far as he can tell.
Bren is hot and blindingly tight around his cock so he grabs her hips, sitting up and nudging her onto her knees to change the position. He squeezes the base of his cock hard before pushing into her again, slowly, leaning over her and thrusting inside.
It feels wrong this way, somehow, when he can't see her face, just the long, pale expanse of her back. It reminds him of the presence of the camera again, filming each movement and sound. She pushes back into his thrusts eagerly and Ryan can feel how deep he's pressing in, how hard she's breathing, her skin flushed and warm.
It's only minutes later and he's pulling out, gently holding her hips and laying her down on her back, pushing her legs up so he can press inside again, where she's wet and open for him.
Her muscles don't clench down as painfully tight as when they first started and her wetness makes it an easy slide, which Ryan hopes is a good thing. He can feel the way the heat coils low in his stomach, getting close, and he squeezes the base of his cock again.
"Hey," Bren says softly, and Ryan didn't even realize he had his eyes closed. He opens them, blinking at her flushed face beneath him just in time to see her surge up, kissing him hard on the mouth. He kisses back, reaching between them with the hand not holding her leg up to rub over her clit, where their bodies meet. Bren just kisses harder, opening her mouth and grabbing his shoulders while he twists his hips against her, fucking down into her.
She bites his lip and Ryan shakes his head, whispers, "I have to--" and pulls back from her. Bren is quick, writhing in pleasure from Ryan's fingers over her clit one moment and sitting up on her knees in front of him the next, pulling the condom off and jerking him quickly. Ryan closes his eyes and groans when he comes, can't bear to watch as she mouths at his cock through each wet spurt, her small hand slowing as he finishes. Her fingers dig into his skin, however, and when he does open his eyes he can see her face all flushed and striped in come, and god, Ryan's heart twists even though she's still the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, even like this.
Ryan falls down to his knees (and it's not hard, still shaky after his orgasm) and quickly kisses her, licking his come off her face and sliding his fingers back down between her legs.
Bren gasps out against his mouth and her hips twist while he rubs her clit, sliding three fingers easily inside. He kisses her and kisses her, like it could actually make up for everything they just did, and when she finally comes her head tilts back and she moans, clutching Ryan's arms tightly as her body spasms around his fingers.
Ryan's kissing Bren again when she comes down from her orgasm and tries to reach over to turn the camera off. She laughs when he won't let go, pushing at his chest until she manages to press the 'stop' button, collapsing back on the bed.
Bren makes to grab her clothes but then Ryan's pulling her back into his arms. She laughs a little until she realizes he's not playing, just hugging her tightly. She goes still and then hugs back, feeling silly with her breasts pressed to his chest but mostly just feeling confused.
"Ry?"
Ryan pulls back, kissing her one last time. "I'm so sorry," he says, and he can tell that looking at his eyes, Bren can see the sadness, knows that he means it.
"Ryan," she tells him in a stern voice, taking his hands in hers. "I just asked you to have sex with me. This isn't the end of the world, okay? Nothing's different." Just as Bren says it she winces, shifting a little where she's sitting on the mattress. "Well, except my vagina is sore like a motherfucker." Ryan gets a horrified expression on his face and Bren laughs.
"Oh my god, stop it." She puts her arms over his shoulders again and Ryan loses his balance, falling back on the bed. The naked thing doesn't bother them quite as much now, not when they're both tired and a little sweaty.
"Stay," Bren says, leaning her head on Ryan's shoulder. Ryan slowly wraps his arms around her waist, like he's afraid to touch her bare skin now.
"You're sure?"
"Yep," Bren replies with a yawn, nuzzling her cheek against Ryan's skin.
Ryan sighs, resting his chin on top of her hair. "Okay."
-
"Stop. Press stop, please, Ryan, I--"
Ryan quickly finds the button and pauses the video, turning to where Bren's face is pale, except for the spots of red on her cheeks. She looks like she wants to cry but her eyes are dry, and Ryan sets the camera down and hugs her, tightly, stroking his hand over her hair. She pulled on a t-shirt when she woke up but her legs are still bare, and he's still naked as she buries her face into his chest.
"Are you okay?" Ryan asks quietly, after a moment.
"I can't do this," Bren says, sitting up and wiping at her eyes, even though they're still dry. "I thought I could, but - it's me in that video. Me and you. Ry, I don't want anyone else to see that."
"Hey, Bren, no one has to see it, okay? You can delete this video right now. There are other ways to make money. You - I'm not telling you how to live your life, but fuck, I would be really happy if you didn't go through with this."
Bren smiles, looking up at Ryan's face, her cheeks still a little red. "You don't mind that you, um. Wasted that. On me?" Bren finishes in a small voice, and Ryan cups her face and gives her the sternest look he can when his chest just feels tight from caring about her so much.
"You're an idiot, Bren. A gorgeous one. But an idiot."
Bren huffs and Ryan kisses her softly, feeling the way she relaxes against his mouth reluctantly, moving her lips with his. When Ryan pulls back, her eyes are still closed and it takes a lot to stop him from kissing her again.
"Promise me you're okay? And we can delete this video?"
Bren nods. "Can we, umm. Can we keep kissing?"
Ryan smiles and leans back down.