life, death, and fate
isn't that the usual topic of everyone's blogs. oh, i forgot, add love and relationships to it, and it's hitting the nail on the head.
i lost another family member today.
my mom's best friend's son died. he was 35 and had a fairly severe mental disability. he had just moved into his own apartment less than 3 months ago. after 15 years, he was finally on his own.
he got the flu, and that one little weakness caused his enlarged heart to push up against his other organs enough to kill him.
basically, his heart failed.
so here i am, sitting at my aunt's house for the second time in 3 years for the same reason, about to go to a funeral for the second time in 2 months. i can see the sheer pain, agony even, in her eyes. it kills me to see her in so much pain. my uncle is crying... i've never seen him cry.
i can't take this anymore. why has my family been hit so hard? why have we lost so much? what is the consolation for that? what are we to get from the divine by loosing those we love?
all questions i can't answer. nor do i want to answer them... i don't care to know the secrets of life, the keys to mortality and immortality.
friday is on the edge, ladies. 9 out of 10 says the funeral will be on saturday. depending on what time, i may not be able to have or go to any party at all.
i'm so sorry, i hate that things like this have to happen just when i'm happy again. i was happy too. i had hope for the future, hope for myself. but again, the goddess has reminded me that things can take that happiness away just as fast as she can give it.
but i have faith in her. i have faith in myself.
i lost another family member today.
my mom's best friend's son died. he was 35 and had a fairly severe mental disability. he had just moved into his own apartment less than 3 months ago. after 15 years, he was finally on his own.
he got the flu, and that one little weakness caused his enlarged heart to push up against his other organs enough to kill him.
basically, his heart failed.
so here i am, sitting at my aunt's house for the second time in 3 years for the same reason, about to go to a funeral for the second time in 2 months. i can see the sheer pain, agony even, in her eyes. it kills me to see her in so much pain. my uncle is crying... i've never seen him cry.
i can't take this anymore. why has my family been hit so hard? why have we lost so much? what is the consolation for that? what are we to get from the divine by loosing those we love?
all questions i can't answer. nor do i want to answer them... i don't care to know the secrets of life, the keys to mortality and immortality.
friday is on the edge, ladies. 9 out of 10 says the funeral will be on saturday. depending on what time, i may not be able to have or go to any party at all.
i'm so sorry, i hate that things like this have to happen just when i'm happy again. i was happy too. i had hope for the future, hope for myself. but again, the goddess has reminded me that things can take that happiness away just as fast as she can give it.
but i have faith in her. i have faith in myself.