The Lost Note -Chapter 9- part 1
Title: The Lost Note
Author: HeavensWine
Length: Series - Chapter 8
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Jaeho, Yoosu
Genre: Romance, Slight angst and confusion
Summary: It’s been a tough year for the 4 members of TVXQ. They had to do everything without a leader. But what makes it harder was the feeling they kept inside. Yoochun made a mistake that affected Yunho and JaeJoong’s relationship. Will they ever regain those feelings? A misunderstanding that postponed their bond for more than a year.
Something the heart must have to cherish,
Must love and joy and sorrow learn;
Something with passion clasp or perish,
And itself to ashes burn.
< Trailer >
< Prologue >
< Chapter 1 >
< Chapter 2 >
< Chapter 3 >
< Chapter 4 >
< Chapter 5 >
< Chapter 6 >
< Chapter 7 >
Nickelback - Far Away
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know, you know, you know
I love you
I've loved you all along
I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore.
Chapter 9
[Jae’s POV]
“So you’re moody yesterday because?” Yunho asked me, following me from behind.
Well I’m moody yesterday because I didn’t know the truth, didn’t know that he’s innocent, didn’t know that I’m acting the wrong way and didn’t know how to act around someone I hate and love at the same time. But what should I say? I can’t say even one of these reasons.
“It’s because of what my confession last---“
“No it’s not.” I countered as quickly as I can. “It has nothing to do with that.”
He looks at the floor as if thinking so hard. Then quietly, he says, “Then why?”
I face him and smile. “As Yoochun said, I was having periods.” I laugh hoping that it will brighten up the mood.
“What?” He is still very gullible. It was obviously a joke. How could he be surprised?
“Pabo! Not the woman’s period.” I clarified.
He rolls his eyes and says, “Then what?”
Somehow, I can see that he is getting impatient. So I start, “Okay.” I take a deep breath then continue, “Well…I lost my best friend last year.”
“Oh so it’s really because of my---“
“Yah, Jung Yunho! I said no.” Even I was shocked that I called him by his full name. But there was really no meaning to it. I wasn’t pissed or anything…just someone trying to calm down a ventilating friend.
“Okay. Let me clari-“
I cut his words off and say what I want to say, “After I---“
“Why do you keep on cutting what I’m trying to explain?”
I blink a few times, acting as though I didn’t do what he was accusing me of. Now where was I? I even forgot what I want to say. He has been cutting my words off too.
“Nevermind.” He shakes his head and says, “What were you saying?”
“Well, my lovely Yunho. I was talking about why I was moody yesterday.” I replied while thanking my memory for not failing me. Getting no response from him, I continue, “You see…after I lost that bestfriend of mine, I kept having mood alteration.”
“Well, my beloved Jae. In case you have noticed, that bestfriend of yours is back now.” He countered.
I look at him with an act of confusion and say, “Is he? I thought my bestfriend resurrected into a guy named Yoochun.”
He licks his lips, out of mannerism maybe or probably because of the weather. “Yoochun?”
I didn’t think explaining this to him would be this hard. What’s making it harder is probably because there are a lot of important details that I have to skip. But I didn’t want to give up so I explain, “I was so depressed when Yunho left me. I didn’t talk to anyone for two or more days. No one understood me except for Yoochun. Every day, my hatred for Yunho grew bigger and bigger for leaving me. But Yoochun made me forget about that hatred and stopped my mood alteration by taking care of me a lot as his bestfriend.”
I can’t read his eyes for some reason. But even so, I’ll just wait for what he has to say and here it is, “So you fell in love with Yoochun and made him your bestfriend. Is that it?” He is staring at me with provoking eyes. Indeed, it is provoking. I mean, he thinks my love for him is as simple as that: falling in love with someone else just because he was gone for a long time?
I’m not like that, Yunho. I wish I can tell you. What he said really hurt a part of my heart…or maybe even my whole heart. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” He said after the change in my expression.
I look at him and say truthfully, “I’m happy enough that I realized who my bestfriend really was…and that wasn’t you.” I look down. I know that what I’m saying to him is the truth. I think of him of more than simply just my bestfriend. But because I can’t tell him that, I know it would hurt him. That’s why it’s eventually hurting me too.
He lifts his now sorrowful gaze to me and begins, “So…” He blinks then looks down and faces me again. “What am I in your life now, Jae?” He said in a pleading yet desperate manner.
I walk closer to him with a smile. “You’re someone I want to take care of, someone I want to keep forever, someone I want to do everything with, someone I treasure a lot, someone no one can ever replace.” I look down at my now cold hands and rub it together. “Yoochun didn’t replace you. Bestfriends, Yunho, can be replaced.” I look up to him again and whisper close to his ear, “You, however, are irreplaceable.”
I can’t see Yunho’s face. But I can feel him turning his head to whisper something to me, “What am I to you?”
I slowly lurk my hand around him and answer, “My Love.”
Then I feel someone from behind shaking me. But at the same time I can hear the voice of Yunho asking me, “My love?” But what is this feeling? The Yunho I was hugging minutes ago is slowly disappearing.
“Yes.” I try to clench him inside my arms so that he won’t disappear. “Don’t go, my love.” But he just keeps on disappearing so I reach out my and it touches something…something with a nose? Cheek? Lips?
I realize then that my eyes were close. I open them to check who the owner of the nose, cheek and lips that I touched is only to see Yunho laughing at me. “Good Morning, my love.” He greeted me.
Shocked, I hurriedly sit up on the bed away from him and grabbed the comfort sheet covering my lower body up to my chest. Was everything just a dream a while ago? Looks like it. “Why are you here early in the morning and what are you talking about?” I ask him with suspicion.
He takes a deep breath and reaches out for the sheet I used to desperately cover my chest and said, “Why are you acting like I’m some kind of maniac trying to harass you?” After successfully getting the sheet, he folds it neatly and said, “And why am I suddenly not allowed entering this bedroom? Didn’t I just wake up here a while ago?”
Oh yeah. He, of course, did wake up here a while ago. I can still remember yesterday night when we all got in this bed. It was so crowded. I think I’m the last one who fell asleep. It is the main reason, probably, why I’m also the last one who woke up. I’m usually an early riser. The lesson? Don’t involve yourself again in any monkey idea such us 5 people sleeping in one bed. But to be honest, the main reason why I fell asleep last wasn’t really because it’s crowded. It is because Yunho was beside me.
So here is what happened…
When Yoochun and I got back to the bedroom, the three desperate being were already so sleepy. But seeing Yoochun’s slightly lumped cheek, the others got curious and asked so we explained that he tripped and all. But Junsu knew the truth, of course, which means that Changmin will eventually know it too. I felt really bad thinking that the lame excuse of Yoochun tripping was only for Yunho. But it can’t be helped. Yunho can’t know that I punched Yoochun because of the note. He just can’t know the truth yet. So we all went to bed afterwards with the lights off. Being a smart-pants that Changmin is, he arranged the order from left side to right side as follow: Changmin, Yunho, JaeJoong, Yoochun, Junsu. Just imagine how squished I was in the middle.
Since I was nervous enough being beside Yunho, I decided to face Yoochun’s side instead. But I couldn’t take his long sharp hair pricking all over my smooth skinned face so I have no other choice but to be squished even more by lying down facing the ceiling. Yunho called my attention, though, by calling my name. I don’t know if he was bothered by my position since it’s too squishy on his place or if he was bothered by the fact that I can’t sleep because I’m so being squished. He reached out for my right hand and pulled it closer to him. He was just indicating that I should sleep sideway facing him…so I did. “It’ll be less squishy.” He said before wrapping his left hand loosely around me. I looked at him for quite a long time just satisfying my longing moment for him. I was pretty sure he slept right away anyway. Maybe even though he doesn’t love me anymore, the attraction we had for each other is still there. I smiled at my thought that maybe there still is a big chance of him loving me again. I know I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up but this is me, JaeJoong. I turn very optimistic even just with a simple hint. But same goes for my pessimistic side. So I closed my eyes yesterday night and just enjoyed the warmth he had offered to me until I fell asleep.
part 2