Fic: Superlative, 1/1
Title: Superlative
Author: heavenstruezest
Rating: All.
Characters: Ten, Rose.
Disclaimer: They weren't mine yesterday and they are not mine today. But I do have high hopes for tomorrow.
Summary: 'Didn't you hear me when I said The Best Chips in the Universe Ever?'
Notes: Written for challenge two, picture prompt two of doctor_rose_las.
The Doctor stood clenching and unclenching his fists, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Rose’s nails were bitten to the quick, her palms slightly damp.
‘I really shouldn’t be feeling this nervous,’ she muttered.
The Doctor stopped bouncing and looked at her with apparent astonishment.
‘Didn’t you hear me when I said The Best Chips in the Universe Ever?’
‘I got that, yeah.’
‘Well, then.’ He smiled brightly and resumed bobbing up and down.
She shook her head. ‘No. Sorry - I mean, yes, they’re supposed to be the best, but that’s all down to taste, isn’t it? And is it really necessary to have to register at the door? And to have guards all round the shop?’ She gestured towards the burly man nearest to them, all in black with a walkie-talkie in his hand.
He gave her a bemused look. ‘Well, ’course it is. Everything would get out of control, otherwise. People come in armed to the teeth to get at them.’
Rose blinked. ‘They taste that good?’
‘You bet. They’re scrumptious. Splendid. No, wait - superlative.’
She looked towards the counter, where a young woman with curly red hair stood behind a glass panel, gingerly picking up fat, golden chips one by one with a small pair of tongs and counting them into a bag. They did look delicious.
‘How many go into each bag?’ she asked.
‘Twenty. But that’s twenty little strips of - of pure joy, Rose, all wrapped up in…could you say an oil shell? No, probably not. Well, they’re fried in oil, anyway. I suppose that’s true of all chips, though, isn’t it?’
She nudged him. ‘Krillitane oil? They tasted pretty good.’
‘No. No super intelligence, I’m afraid. But people have been known to think themselves capable of brilliant things after eating them. That’s why we had to sign the disclaimer before we came in - no suing the shop if we become inspired to single-handedly end the fuel crisis on Fabrillion Delta.’ He paused. ‘Not that that’s happening at this particular point in time, but, you know, hypothetically…’ He grinned, stepping forward smartly as the curly-haired woman handed a bag of chips to a man whose head barely reached the top of the counter, and inhaled deeply as he was escorted out through another exit.
‘Ooh, I can almost taste them,’ he said happily. ‘Nearly there, Rose, not long now -’
‘Okay, everyone!’ the guard nearest them called. ‘That’s it for today! Can you please leave quietly, thank you! Now, madam,’ he said soothingly, crouching next to the woman before them, who had broken down in tears, and placing a beefy hand on her shoulder, ‘there’ll be more chips tomorrow.’
‘I was so close!’ she sobbed, allowing him to pull her up and lead her out. ‘So close!’
‘No,’ the Doctor said, voice hushed, staring at the counter as the curly-haired woman peeled off her latex gloves, his brows furrowed as though he could not quite believe what he was seeing.
‘That’s so unfair,’ Rose complained, a little louder than she should have done. One of the guards who had not been charged with escorting people from the shop looked across at them as they stood still and staring amidst other disgruntled customers.
‘You two!’ he shouted. ‘What are you doing?’
She shook her head. ‘Nothing. We’re - we’re going, aren’t we, Doctor?’
‘Yes,’ he said, with a smile that was more a grimace. She rested her hands on his arm and leaned into him, lowering her voice.
‘We’re going back in the TARDIS to try again, right?’
‘Oh, absolutely,’ he agreed.