reset the pieces, watch them fall again (1/1)
Title: reset the pieces, watch them fall again
Rating: G
Genre: Angst
Pairings or Characters: Dean/Cas
Warnings: spoilers for 6x22, amnesia
Word Count: 1032
Summary: Castiel erases it all.
reset the pieces, watch them fall again
Castiel erases it all. Every memory, every scar, and every callus. They're clean, fresh and innocent and new, the reminders of demons and monsters and angels all washed from their skin and their bones and their minds. He doesn't know if it's selfish or selfless, a punishment or a gift, letting them free like this, but he doesn't dwell on it.
Sam is still in law school now, and Dean works as a mechanic not too far from campus. He pays the bills for the apartment they share and tells Sam to focus on studying for the bar and stop worrying about the cost of school. The faster he passes the bar exam, the faster he'll get into a law firm and start making enough money to pay back his loans with interest. Sam starts dating a girl with blond hair and green eyes he meets at school, but Castiel doesn't keep track of who Dean involves himself with.
Castiel visits sometimes. It takes very little time to reorganize Heaven. Angels live to be ordered around, and the few who don't accept his orders are done away with, easy as blowing out a candle. So he visits. He sits in the back of the bus, wearing Jimmy Novak and his old, tan trench coat, watching Sam as he heads to school. Dean offers to lend him the Impala to drive to school often enough, but Sam says paying for a parking space isn't worth it, and the bus stop is right down the street from their apartment anyway. After Sam gets off at campus, Castiel visits the auto shop where Dean works, watching him work with dirt and grease coating his hands. Dean seems content enough, but as long as Castiel sits and watches, he never sees him smile.
Castiel slips between visible and invisible when he's on Earth. No one will recognize him, so it doesn't really matter if he lets people see him, but watching Dean, he almost feels it necessary. He shouldn't bother, but he's uneasy about the idea of allowing Dean to look at him. He tries not to think about how afraid he is to see Dean's eyes land on him and look through him, not recognizing him and easily turning away.
Gods aren't supposed to be afraid of anything, he tells himself, sitting quietly across the garage, invisible as he watches Dean work.
Today is a Sunday. Dean and Sam don't go to church, which is unsurprising. Instead, they go to a local donut shop for a late breakfast and talk about who they think will win the football game tonight. Castiel sits in a booth in the back corner of the shop, staying visible to let people know the table is occupied. He watches Dean and Sam go up to the counter to make their order, Dean mocking his brother when Sam makes a disgusted face at the several cream-filled masterpieces Dean's been drooling over.
"I'll just have one glazed, please," Sam says to the girl behind the counter and Dean rolls his eyes.
"Dude, why'd you even come? You could've made one of your dumb salads at home."
"Shut up, Dean, I don't eat salad all the time."
"You kidding me? Half the time, I'm afraid you're cheating on Jen with those things."
Sam shoves at him and Dean laughs, and Castiel feels an odd mix of warmth and disappointment at the sound. He's frowning at the table, trying to make the sensation go away, when he feels a set of eyes land on him. It's different from when people glance over him on the bus or at the shop, when he doesn't mind being visible. He looks up at sees Dean staring at him, and feels everything grow cold. Dean hands off his donuts to Sam and mumbles something Castiel can't hear before walking right over. Castiel debates leaving or slipping invisible and erasing Dean's memory of ever having spotted him, but for a split second, he hesitates, and he loses his chance when Dean stops at the table, standing over him.
"I know you," Dean breathes, and it makes Castiel's mouth go dry. "I know you. Why do I know you?"
Castiel doesn't know how to answer, or even if he should. He sits, blank-faced and silent, staring up into Dean's eyes, taking them in greedily because he'd never expected to have the chance again.
"I don't remember you, but I know... you're important. Tell me why."
Castiel had thought he was afraid of Dean not seeing him, even when he was visible. He realizes now that this-being seen, being known-is much more terrifying.
Castiel starts to shake his head and Dean reaches forward quickly, grabbing him by the arm as if to stop him from running away. He can't stop him, because Castiel is unstoppable. He is a god, with fathomless powers, but he feels drained and weak pinned under Dean's eyes like this, so he doesn't flee. Instead he sits there, shaking his head.
"You can't. You can't know me. You aren't supposed to. You're supposed to be free of everything. Free of me," Castiel says, sounding desperate and terrified. Dean's eyes go wide and his hand grips tighter.
"Cas?" Dean whispers, understanding slowly forming in his eyes, and with that, Castiel finally disappears. In an instant, no one in the shop remembers the man sitting in the corner booth, and Dean stares blankly at the seat, wondering why he's standing there, trying to grab the pieces of his memory like a dream quickly forgotten after waking.
"Dean?" Sam calls and Dean snaps out of it, turning around and walking back to his brother.
"What was that?" Sam asks as they take their seat, biting into his donut.
"I dunno," Dean frowns. He looks down at his plate and the three donuts there, suddenly missing his appetite.
Back in Heaven, Castiel decides not to visit anymore.
Rating: G
Genre: Angst
Pairings or Characters: Dean/Cas
Warnings: spoilers for 6x22, amnesia
Word Count: 1032
Summary: Castiel erases it all.
reset the pieces, watch them fall again
Castiel erases it all. Every memory, every scar, and every callus. They're clean, fresh and innocent and new, the reminders of demons and monsters and angels all washed from their skin and their bones and their minds. He doesn't know if it's selfish or selfless, a punishment or a gift, letting them free like this, but he doesn't dwell on it.
Sam is still in law school now, and Dean works as a mechanic not too far from campus. He pays the bills for the apartment they share and tells Sam to focus on studying for the bar and stop worrying about the cost of school. The faster he passes the bar exam, the faster he'll get into a law firm and start making enough money to pay back his loans with interest. Sam starts dating a girl with blond hair and green eyes he meets at school, but Castiel doesn't keep track of who Dean involves himself with.
Castiel visits sometimes. It takes very little time to reorganize Heaven. Angels live to be ordered around, and the few who don't accept his orders are done away with, easy as blowing out a candle. So he visits. He sits in the back of the bus, wearing Jimmy Novak and his old, tan trench coat, watching Sam as he heads to school. Dean offers to lend him the Impala to drive to school often enough, but Sam says paying for a parking space isn't worth it, and the bus stop is right down the street from their apartment anyway. After Sam gets off at campus, Castiel visits the auto shop where Dean works, watching him work with dirt and grease coating his hands. Dean seems content enough, but as long as Castiel sits and watches, he never sees him smile.
Castiel slips between visible and invisible when he's on Earth. No one will recognize him, so it doesn't really matter if he lets people see him, but watching Dean, he almost feels it necessary. He shouldn't bother, but he's uneasy about the idea of allowing Dean to look at him. He tries not to think about how afraid he is to see Dean's eyes land on him and look through him, not recognizing him and easily turning away.
Gods aren't supposed to be afraid of anything, he tells himself, sitting quietly across the garage, invisible as he watches Dean work.
Today is a Sunday. Dean and Sam don't go to church, which is unsurprising. Instead, they go to a local donut shop for a late breakfast and talk about who they think will win the football game tonight. Castiel sits in a booth in the back corner of the shop, staying visible to let people know the table is occupied. He watches Dean and Sam go up to the counter to make their order, Dean mocking his brother when Sam makes a disgusted face at the several cream-filled masterpieces Dean's been drooling over.
"I'll just have one glazed, please," Sam says to the girl behind the counter and Dean rolls his eyes.
"Dude, why'd you even come? You could've made one of your dumb salads at home."
"Shut up, Dean, I don't eat salad all the time."
"You kidding me? Half the time, I'm afraid you're cheating on Jen with those things."
Sam shoves at him and Dean laughs, and Castiel feels an odd mix of warmth and disappointment at the sound. He's frowning at the table, trying to make the sensation go away, when he feels a set of eyes land on him. It's different from when people glance over him on the bus or at the shop, when he doesn't mind being visible. He looks up at sees Dean staring at him, and feels everything grow cold. Dean hands off his donuts to Sam and mumbles something Castiel can't hear before walking right over. Castiel debates leaving or slipping invisible and erasing Dean's memory of ever having spotted him, but for a split second, he hesitates, and he loses his chance when Dean stops at the table, standing over him.
"I know you," Dean breathes, and it makes Castiel's mouth go dry. "I know you. Why do I know you?"
Castiel doesn't know how to answer, or even if he should. He sits, blank-faced and silent, staring up into Dean's eyes, taking them in greedily because he'd never expected to have the chance again.
"I don't remember you, but I know... you're important. Tell me why."
Castiel had thought he was afraid of Dean not seeing him, even when he was visible. He realizes now that this-being seen, being known-is much more terrifying.
Castiel starts to shake his head and Dean reaches forward quickly, grabbing him by the arm as if to stop him from running away. He can't stop him, because Castiel is unstoppable. He is a god, with fathomless powers, but he feels drained and weak pinned under Dean's eyes like this, so he doesn't flee. Instead he sits there, shaking his head.
"You can't. You can't know me. You aren't supposed to. You're supposed to be free of everything. Free of me," Castiel says, sounding desperate and terrified. Dean's eyes go wide and his hand grips tighter.
"Cas?" Dean whispers, understanding slowly forming in his eyes, and with that, Castiel finally disappears. In an instant, no one in the shop remembers the man sitting in the corner booth, and Dean stares blankly at the seat, wondering why he's standing there, trying to grab the pieces of his memory like a dream quickly forgotten after waking.
"Dean?" Sam calls and Dean snaps out of it, turning around and walking back to his brother.
"What was that?" Sam asks as they take their seat, biting into his donut.
"I dunno," Dean frowns. He looks down at his plate and the three donuts there, suddenly missing his appetite.
Back in Heaven, Castiel decides not to visit anymore.