Contest of Losers

[heavens_steed]

I'm just wondering if there is anyone out there who is a bigger loser than I am and can usurp my self-designated title of dishonor. Granted, it's not a contest anyone would want to win but out of everyone I know, I think I'm the biggest loser. And no, I don't mean losing great amounts of weight from exercising and dieting because that would be a

Comments

[heavens_steed]

Since you all seem so convinced that I've been the victim of the vicissitudes of fortune, perhaps you'd like to explain to me specifically why this is and provide evidence for that position. I just don't see that. At least 90 percent of my problems and undesirable aspects of my current life are the result of bad decisions I made. I might agree with you in that I was given a bad hand by being born as myself, with my inherently deficient personality and character, lack of competency and talent, sexual perversity, etc. Someone who just doesn't have much potential will never excel very far on their own, regardless of how much or how little they've been given.

Exceptionalism doesn't necessarily mean being literally number one above everyone else. Nor does it mean excelling in every possible category. What I mean by exceptional is being really good at something. Better than most people but not necessarily all. It means striving for excellence.

Are you actually telling me that I should strive for and desire mediocrity? The rule of thumb is that what you'll likely fall short of what you strive for. So if you strive for excellence, you'll probably at least reach "pretty good." If you strive for mediocrity, you'll only reach mediocrity or worse.

As for comparing oneself to others, you're completely correct. But I have no other means of assessing my value. The only other source of value would be inherent or intrinsic value which is grounded in God. But I don't have such value, so all I'm left with is subjective value determined by other people.

[footpad]

Aha! Okay. I understand what you mean by the 'exceptional' now. We're just disagreeing over the semantics of a word. I took it to mean, "markedly better than anyone else". If you're using it to mean, "striving towards the best of one's abilities", then we have no great disagreement.

I hope that disposes of that disagreement. *wag*

As for assessing one's value by comparison with others: yes, it's a fundamental human instinct and we all do it. But, speaking with the benefit of a lot of hindsight: it doesn't actually do us much good. The results depend totally on where you set your sights. Compare yourself to the stars and you'll despair; compare yourself to skid row and you'll become happy with something worse than mediocrity. If you've got to compare yourself with someone, compare yourself with you a year ago.

As for your hindrances in life:

• By your own account, you have a family who despise fundamental aspects of your nature (I think it fair to call it "your God-given nature").
• You've come of age in a time when the economy sucks horrendously, placing huge obstacles before anyone who wants to support themselves without having the benefit of an established trade.
• You have been slugged with a predisposition for depression (probably substantially genetic), and your society does not encourage treatment of the depressed.

For a start.

When I try to judge the effects of these things, I compare you and me. We're not so very different: highly verbally intelligent, socially perhaps less so, both depressive. And I think it's entirely plausible that, if I hadn't started out with an unconditionally supportive family, and the benefits of universal healthcare, I'd be in a position much like yours. Plus I'd be toothless.

On the other hand, if I'd made proper use of my advantages, by now I'd be a professor or an eminent journalist.

If you're a loser, than so am I.