Things just aren't the same anymore
I really dont know where to start. It seems I have so much to say but I don't know where to go from here.
It seemed like I had everything figured out and that things were starting to go my way. New job, new friends, school starting again. Well it wasnt long before that went sour. Went into Pai's tonight to watch my kids test for their black belt. It made me so proud to see them and how well they did. Went to Starbucks for a coffee before I had my test at Pais. Coffee before working out is a big no no. I felt nauseous the entire time. Broke my boards beautifully. Helped other people break their boards and that all went well. Until we get this bright gentleman, who I felt so bad for because he should have broken his boards the first time but the holder was holding them wrong. But of course this person gets upset. (to be expected)
Does the one thing that he knows is gonna hurt him. Doesn't succeed in doing what he set out doing and gets hurt. Then gets angry and breaks the boards and like practically throws them all over the place. Now I understand his anger and frustration, believe me, but was that necessary. I felt horrible that he was hurt. But what can I do. Believe me this does have a point to my subject.
Decided that after class I would go do something I have never done and try to let loose a little, because I was feeling really bad about what had happened and things were just coming at me from all corners. So I went with Adrienne and Rachel to Diamond 8 in Latham and played pool and then SANG KARAOKE! Adrienne made me do it. We sang "Barbie Girl" by Aqua. I know gay right, but it was fun. Doing all of this made me think. Especially with the 20 minute drive home. Nothing is the same anymore. 4 years ago, the original crew was doing almost everything together. Play football in Ehrlich's back yard. Playing poker all of the time. Playing Pool. Those were the good old times. Everyone got a long and it was awesome. Now we are all divided. And why? I don't think anybody really knows. This whole separate paths bullshit doesnt cut it. We are the same god damn people. Same fun and dorky people we were 4 years ago. I just think some of us have lost sight of that. Including me. I was so busy trying to be somebody, that I didn't realize I was someone allready. I've loved many and lost a few. But you can't win them all, can ya? If I could go back and do this over again, I would, with one change. I would be the person I know am capable of being. No bitchiness, no crying, no control. I would give anything to go back and do it again, just to change that. But God only gives second chances to people who are good at heart. Seems like I blew that along time ago. But I am working on that, and maybe when the time is right, a second chance will have been earned. I hope.
It seemed like I had everything figured out and that things were starting to go my way. New job, new friends, school starting again. Well it wasnt long before that went sour. Went into Pai's tonight to watch my kids test for their black belt. It made me so proud to see them and how well they did. Went to Starbucks for a coffee before I had my test at Pais. Coffee before working out is a big no no. I felt nauseous the entire time. Broke my boards beautifully. Helped other people break their boards and that all went well. Until we get this bright gentleman, who I felt so bad for because he should have broken his boards the first time but the holder was holding them wrong. But of course this person gets upset. (to be expected)
Does the one thing that he knows is gonna hurt him. Doesn't succeed in doing what he set out doing and gets hurt. Then gets angry and breaks the boards and like practically throws them all over the place. Now I understand his anger and frustration, believe me, but was that necessary. I felt horrible that he was hurt. But what can I do. Believe me this does have a point to my subject.
Decided that after class I would go do something I have never done and try to let loose a little, because I was feeling really bad about what had happened and things were just coming at me from all corners. So I went with Adrienne and Rachel to Diamond 8 in Latham and played pool and then SANG KARAOKE! Adrienne made me do it. We sang "Barbie Girl" by Aqua. I know gay right, but it was fun. Doing all of this made me think. Especially with the 20 minute drive home. Nothing is the same anymore. 4 years ago, the original crew was doing almost everything together. Play football in Ehrlich's back yard. Playing poker all of the time. Playing Pool. Those were the good old times. Everyone got a long and it was awesome. Now we are all divided. And why? I don't think anybody really knows. This whole separate paths bullshit doesnt cut it. We are the same god damn people. Same fun and dorky people we were 4 years ago. I just think some of us have lost sight of that. Including me. I was so busy trying to be somebody, that I didn't realize I was someone allready. I've loved many and lost a few. But you can't win them all, can ya? If I could go back and do this over again, I would, with one change. I would be the person I know am capable of being. No bitchiness, no crying, no control. I would give anything to go back and do it again, just to change that. But God only gives second chances to people who are good at heart. Seems like I blew that along time ago. But I am working on that, and maybe when the time is right, a second chance will have been earned. I hope.