Fanfic: Heart of Your Soul Chapter 4
Title: Καρδιά της ψυχής σας - Heart of Your Soul
Chapter 4: Trying to Forgive Again
Author: Heavenreturned
Pairing: Castiel/Dean/Gabriel eventually
Rating: Current Chapters PG
Words: 1169
Summary: Dean used to dream of angels and having wings. Now he’s an adult with the threat of Armageddon looming over his head, and he’s about to find out the dreams weren’t as made up as he used to believe. It’s going to change not just his life, but the existence of two others.
Currently this part is unbeta’d but I am going ahead and posting it and when I get the beta’d version back I’ll post it up.
Notes: This is now the edited and beta'd version
Thank you to darkamber for the awesome beta work!
Link to Part 1
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Dean shuffled around the kitchen making a sandwich. Cass had been gone when he’d come back down after his shower and he was grateful for it. He wondered how he could talk Sammy into hanging out here at Bobby’s a while. He actually felt safe here. Which was not something he was used to, and with how everything in his life was spinning out of control he kind of wanted to stay nearby.
Humming softly, he turned and was shocked to run smack into Cass. He jerked back when colors swirled around him. He heard the rustling of wings and his head was buzzing. He pulled himself away from his friend --ex friend actually-- and jerked away from him.
“Dean, I do not understand what is happening to you.
Dean sunk down into a chair, his head was throbbing and when his angel’s hand closed over his arm the pain in his back became unbearable and everything went dark.
Dean stretched his wings out; the other was with him, behind him. Turning he smiled at the glowing being, “I know you?”
A hand stroked down his face gently and the warmth and love surrounded him. This one, whoever he was, was the one who’d been singing to him before.
“You do know me Dean, or rather, I know you and you sort of know me.”
As the angel stretched his wings, Dean did the same, whining low in his throat as the muscles pulled nicely. The angel reached out and gently stroked a hand down his wings. He shuddered. Oh that felt so nice.
He turned and tugged gently at the other’s wings, “Please, tell me who you are? What’s your name at least?”
He watched as the angel’s wings drooped. The gorgeous golden feathers of his wings going limp. He reached out to the other.
“I will, after we fly. I want you to fly with me little one.” And the angel took to the sky in a beautiful flash of color and gold.
With a grin Dean followed, flying for the first time in years. It felt… amazing…. He realized as he dove and swooped with the angel that he felt comfortable and he hoped it would last. Something about his new friend though, was bothering him and he wasn’t even sure what.
He dove suddenly at the angel and they tumbled through the sky and he laughed in triumph. This place, his dreams, was the only place he ever felt so free and so open.
He was surprised to find himself on his front on the ground as the angel plowed him over; the hands began to run through his feathers. He had no idea what the angel was doing but it felt nice… really nice.
“Why do I have wings ‘n what are you doing?” Dean muttered to the being sitting on his thighs and stroking his feathers.
A soft laughed echoed around, “I don’t know why you have wings, but they are beautiful.” He paused and Dean felt those fingers stroke his feathers again. It was like an itch he didn’t know he had being scratched. It was a heavenly feeling. His angel continued, his voice deeper than it had been, “I’m grooming you. It’s supposed to only be done between mates, but your feathers are matted and gnarled Dean-o, you need them groomed. Otherwise, the kinks will become painful and you’ll need help with them.”
Dean had felt something inside of him freeze at the nickname ‘Dean-o’ the only thing that kept him from jumping up and hitting the other was the fact that he still felt safe. He felt taken care of… he felt loved. So surely this wasn’t who he was suspecting it was.
The angel continued to groom his feathers and as always in these dreams, the feeling of love and safety started wearing him down. It didn’t help that the angel was singing the same lullaby he had numerous times before.
“May you bring love and may you bring happiness. Be loved in return till the end of your days. Now fall off to sleep, I’m not meaning to keep you. I’ll just sit for a while and sing loo-lee lai lay.”
He felt himself relax. This presence had been in his dreams for weeks, there was no way it was Gabriel. He trusted this angel, which was something he’d never thought he’d say about anyone other than Cass.
“Who are you?” He asked tiredly. And felt more then heard the soft mournful sigh.
“You know who I am Dean-o.”
Dean jerked out of his sleep, swearing loudly. No! It couldn’t be Gabriel! He refused to believe it! The fucking trickster could not be the one he felt so safe with. He pressed his palms to his eyes. Fuck, all he dealt with day in and day out was bullshit and lying fucking angels.
He sat up and almost tumbled out of bed by the extra weight, eyes wide he turned to confirm his suspicions.
“Son of a bitch!” He yelled loudly. His wings from his dream were now on his person. Glancing up he watched as Sammy rushed into the room. He waited for Cass to appear…. And was surprised when his friend didn’t show himself.
“You’re up! Dean, holy shit! Do you feel ok?”
He growled when Sammy shoved a hand against his forehead.
“I’m fine! Where the fuck is Cass?!” He felt betrayed, not only by the angel he thought had been his friend in his dream but once more by Castiel.
Sam shuffled slightly, “He left, as soon as he saw you were sleeping. Dude, I think the wings freaked him out a bit.”
Dean growled and threw his pillow at the door. He wished he’d never heard of the fucking angels. Or Castiel. Or the fucking Trickster. He really was just a vessel to all of them. No one cared about him.
He slumped down, his wings curling around his body slightly. At the soft sound of rustling feathers he glanced up to see Cass appear.
“Cass!! You left me!” He couldn’t stop the words from tearing out of his mouth.
His friend approached slowly, trailing a hand down the wing closest to him, “I am sorry Dean…. I was taken by surprise.”
“Because I’m an abomination, a freak.” Dean’s voice was tiny and broken. He’d heard this all before. He was shocked when Cass yanked him to his feet.
His friend glowed in anger. Deep red and striking, his blue eyes were piercing.
“You are not an abomination! I spoke out of fear and I apologized!” Cass’s voice was ringing in a way that Dean suspected was partially his true voice.
He sighed and stepped away from his angel, “Cass, this kind of stuff can’t just be fixed. You… you made all my nightmares a reality. You told me I was worthless.”
He looked up, and saw a stricken expression on his friends face and hurried to continue, “I will forgive you Cass. We just…” he looked down. He couldn’t tell his friend it would take time, because he no longer trusted his angel. But at the soft exhale of breath he glanced up again and he knew Castiel had picked up on it.
“I will prove to you that I can be your friend Dean. I promise you this.”
Dean grinned a bit at the promise. It was stated so factually he knew it was true. He gestured behind his back.
“Can you help me with these at least?”