Heaven's Ablaze - Chapter 6
Title:: Heaven's Ablaze
Genre:: AU Vam Fanfic
Rating:: R
Summary:: His heaven is ablaze in my eyes
Notes:: This story is based on the album Dark Light. All lyrics are taken from that album, and are copyright of Ville Valo. I do not know or own the characters in this story. The storyline itself is property of me and me alone. This story deals with the themes of religion and a degree of pedophilia. If you have a problem with the themes, dont read it.
Links
Prologue
Chapter 1 - Accident
Chapter 2 - Pot Luck
Chapter 3 - Warmth
Chapter 4 - Joseph on Wheels
Chapter 5 - My First Christmas
Interlude - Bam
Chapter 6 - Beginnings
This is the point in time when I got my second chance at life.
Phil helped find me a cheap but decent furnished apartment. I fought - and won - for a pay raise. I renewed my driver’s license. I called Ben up and had him and his girlfriend and their kid over for dinner. Ben and I went out and had fun. I made a couple of rather inconsequential friends, but they were friends nonetheless. I started actually eating sometimes.
I started smiling.
It wasn’t often and it wasn’t for very long but I smiled.
And it was such a weird feeling.
That one family could do this kind of thing to me.
That one person could do this to me.
Because while the rest of the Margera family was amazing, it was Bam that made the lasting difference.
He was a friend. A real one. I knew it was weird; we were 13 years apart. But it just happened that way.
We would sit playing video games for hours. He tried to teach me how to skate, but I soon realized that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks and simply watched him. And we talked. He talked about school, I talked about work. Needless to say, he did most of the talking. But I listened, and it did him good.
I was always in awe of him. Every thing he did was amazing to me.
I kept thinking back to when I was his age. There was obviously no comparison between the turmoil in our respective lives, but I at least understood him.
I kept thinking, here is a model child. This one won’t turn out bad. This one won’t run away. This one won’t fail.
You're hiding yourself away
From our cruel world's embrace
Sometimes I thought about it too much and I had to get away. I didn’t answer his calls - asking whether or not I wanted to try and beat him at MarioKart or the like - I didn’t go over to their house on Sundays for dinner. I didn’t think about them. I sat on my couch and drowned everything out in a beautiful, beautiful wave of alcohol.
Shivers run through the spine
Of hope as she cries
the poison tears of a life denied
It was in these times when I would think, why am I doing this? Why now? It’s too late for me now.
Lift your head and let us taste
The horror you adore
It was in these times when I started hating myself again. When all hope died. When things became like they were before, but worse. Worse because I could feel them now. Worse because of the contrast between the good things that had been happening to me. Worse because I wanted out, I wanted out I wanted out. I didn’t want to sit around watching everyone be happy and pretend to join in. I kept telling myself that I was kidding myself. I was fooling myself.
I was worthless.
I started thinking about ending it again. I had managed, before, to smother these thoughts and simply wait for the end in misery. But now they were back and they kept following me around. I would open the drawers in my kitchen and see the knives in them, sparkling at me happily, and the urge to grab them up and ram them into myself was almost irresistible. Ropes and string of all kind waved at me. My razorblade spoke to me in the mornings. Scissors grinned and the pencils I kept around the house were on their knees, begging me to shove them up my nostrils and then bang my head on a table.
I was going crazy.
It climaxed just a few weeks after I moved into the new apartment.
And as your days turn to weeks
You'll cry yourself to sleep
I hadn’t seen or talked to a single one of them for 2 weeks. I had spent 2 weeks in a drunken stupor; I was even drunk at work.
I was considering actually going to look for someone who kept stock of that magical white powder that kept us all sane in Vegas.
A moth into a butterfly
And a lie
Into the sweetest truth
I'm so afraid of life
I was going backwards, I had been right, it was all for nothing, no-one could help me, there was no hope… I deserved every single thing that I got… I didn’t care. I didn’t care I didn’t care I didn’t care I…
I cared too much.
And it all starts to makes sense
All the blood wisely shed
Just wait until the cure comes knocking on your door
I had spiraled spectacularly downwards: the higher you climb the farther the fall. But it wasn’t Bam to pick me up out of this one.
No. It was Jess.
He came, one Sunday, and started banging on my door.
“Ville, I know you’re in there, now open this door!”
I was drunk. I had been for a good few weeks.
“Screw off Jess. Leave me alone.”
“Dude. Open the door before I break it down.”
I told him to go away again; he wouldn’t. I begged, I pleaded with him to be left alone. But he refused.
“Why the fuck do you CARE so much? Just let me alone, I’m not worth the trouble.”
“You know what Ville?” He was yelling at me, but the door muffled the sound a little. “If it was up to me, by now I would be long gone and you would be free to kill yourself in there. But it’s not. Mom’s lost her fucking mind with worry about you and I refuse to let you do that to my mother. Much less my little brother. Now open the fucking door, get yourself sobered up and we’re going for lunch.”
I opened the door.
Slowly. Shamefully. But I opened it.
“Good lord, man. What have you done to yourself? Oh God Mom’s going to blow… come on.” He grabbed me by the hand and I followed him drunkenly.
“I can’t believe I’m having to look after a 28 year old. Pull yourself together, man.”
I shrugged and waved my hand in the air, but I had to grab onto him to steady myself.
“Okay, okay, I get it. You can’t take care of yourself right now. Here, look. Get in the shower. It’ll sober you up a little. And then we’re going.”
“Jess, I don’t friggin want to go to…”
“I don’t care. You’re coming.”
“Why does she care so much Jess?” I mumbled, trying to find some soap in my cabinets. It was hopeless; the apartment was in a mess.
“She thinks you’re her adopted son, that’s why. And you need the help, obviously. So. She’s determined to do it.”
“I don’t fucking need help. I was just fine before your dumbass brother decided to hit me with his goddam car.”
Jess rolled his eyes.
“Yeah and that’s another thing. My little brother looks up to you like you’re a second God or something. He likes you, Ville. He’s all pissed off right now that you don’t care enough to even answer his calls. I mean, I know he’s an annoying shit sometimes but come on. He’s a good kid.”
I nod, sighing. He was a good kid. I regretted the outburst immediately.
“I’m sorry, Jess. I’m a mess. I’ve always been a mess. I’m fucking kidding myself if I think I can clean up now.”
“You were doing fine. Wait. You’re not on drugs, are you?”
I shook my head and laughed at him.
“I can’t afford drugs anymore, Jess. Not to say I’ve never … no. Not going there. Sorry. Right. Shower.” I left him looking very confused and somewhat disturbingly intrigued as I had a shower and tried my best to sober up.
I’m so afraid of life
I took a detour on the way to their house to buy April a bunch of flowers and Phil a bottle of wine.
They welcomed me with open arms. Again. I crushed my questions and just let them hug me; and then I grinned at Bam and told him I had something for him.
I’d bought him the newest video game. I’d bought it awhile before. But then I had stopped seeing them.
He grinned at me as I handed it to him and we sat down and played it for hours.
Nothing had changed.
I was over the tough part.
I see the seasons changing
The beginning of something new is always the hardest part.
I’d lost my job because of the 2 weeks of drunken stupor, and I had planned on not letting them find this out at all.
But of course, secrets never keep secret.
Bam found me in my favorite coffee store a few days after Jess had dragged me out of hiding, looking desperately through a newspaper to find a job that I could do. Which meant that it couldn’t require any qualifications at all. Which was hard to find.
“Whatcha looking at?” Bam sat down across the table from me and grabbed the newspaper out of my hands before I’d even registered that he was there.
“Jobs? Why? I thought you liked your job cuz you didn’t have to do anything?”
“Yeah but …”
“You got fired, didn’t you?”
I nodded.
“Why?”
I hadn’t told them what I’d been doing in the past few weeks. Only Jess had any idea at all. I sighed.
“It um… wasn’t working…”
“What wasn’t?”
“The job… I mean… I… had a few disagreements with some customers… and…”
“Ville you know if you don’t want to tell me the truth you don’t have to say anything.”
“Oh. Right. Um. Okay. Then I wont say anything. Give me my newspaper back, kid. I kind of need to find something to do.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ve already found you something.”
I blinked at him.
“Excuse me?”
“Yeah. You’ll see. Don’t worry about it.”
“Um, Bam, I don’t think you get this. Without a job, I do not eat. I do not have a place to live. I do not have anything.”
“I know. So I’m getting you a job. It’ll pay three times as much as that other one too. And you’ll get to work with extremely hot women. Seriously. Leave it to me, I’ll sort it out.”
While I knew that Bam had a scary knack at what he called ‘sorting things out’, for the first part this wasn’t something I wanted to play around with because without money … obviously you can’t live without money. And for the second part, I didn’t give a damn about hot women. And the third part … I just didn’t trust him with something as important as this.
“No, Bam. Seriously. I’d rather you didn’t.”
“Ville, it’s basically sorted already. Really. Mom’s been working at it too.”
This made me angry. Why were they doing this behind my back?
“Oh, but only for like a day or two. And she’s been trying to tell you but you haven’t answered your phone.”
“Oh. Well are you going to enlighten me?” He shrugged.
“The music teacher at my school needs an assistant. God only knows why. And you seem to be musically talented, we’ve heard your humming and Jess heard you play piano when you thought no-one was home so we know you’d be okay…”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Bam wait. I’m not qualified to … I mean… Bam I didn’t even pass the 10th grade!”
“You didn’t?”
“No!”
“Oh. Well that doesn’t matter, does it? It’s not like you have to do calculus. All you have to do is help her out.”
“But… what Bam wait. I can’t. I’m horrible with kids. I… what? How? They’ll take one look at me and throw me out.” This, I thought, was true. I had tattoos on most parts of my body, which, though I tried to cover them up, the Margera family had discovered while I stayed at their house. One arm was covered and there were various other ones dotted around my body. I don’t remember getting most of them. They all came from Vegas; it was more than likely I was paid by the tattoo artist to let him try them out on me. I didn’t necessarily like all of them, but I couldn’t even think of getting rid of them; I didn’t have the money. Then there was my love for eyeliner. My long, shaggy hair. And the fact that I was so skinny I looked like a concentration camp victim.
And they wanted me to work in a school?
The venus denies you in your dark waters
The moon kissed the sun and now we hold her in our blood
“April, it just makes no sense. I appreciate the help but really… I couldn’t do that.” I had marched Bam straight back to his house to check if he was telling the truth - he was, of course. He never lied.
“Oh, Ville, honey, have some confidence. They’ll love you. You could do it just fine. You wouldn’t have to teach. Of course not. She just wants an assistant that has some sense of music to help out here and there. You’d be in the classroom, sure, but it wouldn’t be in a teaching role.”
“No, look, April you don’t get it.” I sighed, took a deep breath, and tried to calm down. “I never finished 10th grade. I can’t go back to school… I just… no.” I dreaded going to a school, 13 years older than kids who knew more than I ever did.
“Well that’s… you didn’t? I didn’t know that. But look, they’re not looking for someone because of their academic skills. They just want help. And someone musical. And I have friends in the board and… Ville you’d get paid so well…”
I sighed. Money. If it wasn’t for money…
If it wasn’t for money I’d be a long, long way from here, I thought. And then I sighed again and let my hands fall to my sides.
“Right. Okay. Fine. But if this doesn’t work… I…”
“It’ll work, Ville. Trust me.”
“Plus, Ms. Harolds is totally hot,” Bam piped up. I rolled my eyes as April shunned him for saying it.
“I’ve told you before, kid, I’m not … looking for… bah whatever.” I waved it away, refusing to discuss it with them.
“You’re crazy,” Bam said, rolling his eyes at me. I shrugged.
“Maybe. Oh well. It happens.”
I sank into a chair next to the kitchen table and propped my head up on my hands. This was all exhausting. And I was still hung over from the weeks of drunkenness. April sat down next to me and put an arm on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry, darling. If you don’t want to, then it’s fine. I’ll just tell them you’re not interested and we can forget about it.”
I waved that suggestion away with a hand.
“No, no it’s fine. I’m just… tired, is all.”
“Okay. Well if you’re sure… they want to have you in for an interview the day after tomorrow.” I nodded.
“What about all this?” I said, waving my tattooed arm - I was wearing a short sleeved shirt - in front of her face.
She shrugged. “I honestly don’t think they’ll care too much. It’s not the best school in the world.”
I sighed and nodded. “Okay. If you’re sure this… will… work.”
She insisted that she was. And then she insisted on me staying for dinner. I protested, claiming - falsely - that I had plans with someone else but they saw right through me and I was forced to eat. It was good, but I was beginning to regret the layers of fat that I could just tell I were beginning to build up as a result of all the good food.
I went to the interview. I played piano. I sang. I flattered, I talked, I smiled. I joked. I pretended to know what I was talking about.
A moth into a butterfly
And a lie into the sweetest truth
And I got the job. They were desperate for someone to fill it and I was the best candidate.
And that was the beginning of what amounted to be the rest of my life.
Genre:: AU Vam Fanfic
Rating:: R
Summary:: His heaven is ablaze in my eyes
Notes:: This story is based on the album Dark Light. All lyrics are taken from that album, and are copyright of Ville Valo. I do not know or own the characters in this story. The storyline itself is property of me and me alone. This story deals with the themes of religion and a degree of pedophilia. If you have a problem with the themes, dont read it.
Links
Prologue
Chapter 1 - Accident
Chapter 2 - Pot Luck
Chapter 3 - Warmth
Chapter 4 - Joseph on Wheels
Chapter 5 - My First Christmas
Interlude - Bam
Chapter 6 - Beginnings
This is the point in time when I got my second chance at life.
Phil helped find me a cheap but decent furnished apartment. I fought - and won - for a pay raise. I renewed my driver’s license. I called Ben up and had him and his girlfriend and their kid over for dinner. Ben and I went out and had fun. I made a couple of rather inconsequential friends, but they were friends nonetheless. I started actually eating sometimes.
I started smiling.
It wasn’t often and it wasn’t for very long but I smiled.
And it was such a weird feeling.
That one family could do this kind of thing to me.
That one person could do this to me.
Because while the rest of the Margera family was amazing, it was Bam that made the lasting difference.
He was a friend. A real one. I knew it was weird; we were 13 years apart. But it just happened that way.
We would sit playing video games for hours. He tried to teach me how to skate, but I soon realized that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks and simply watched him. And we talked. He talked about school, I talked about work. Needless to say, he did most of the talking. But I listened, and it did him good.
I was always in awe of him. Every thing he did was amazing to me.
I kept thinking back to when I was his age. There was obviously no comparison between the turmoil in our respective lives, but I at least understood him.
I kept thinking, here is a model child. This one won’t turn out bad. This one won’t run away. This one won’t fail.
You're hiding yourself away
From our cruel world's embrace
Sometimes I thought about it too much and I had to get away. I didn’t answer his calls - asking whether or not I wanted to try and beat him at MarioKart or the like - I didn’t go over to their house on Sundays for dinner. I didn’t think about them. I sat on my couch and drowned everything out in a beautiful, beautiful wave of alcohol.
Shivers run through the spine
Of hope as she cries
the poison tears of a life denied
It was in these times when I would think, why am I doing this? Why now? It’s too late for me now.
Lift your head and let us taste
The horror you adore
It was in these times when I started hating myself again. When all hope died. When things became like they were before, but worse. Worse because I could feel them now. Worse because of the contrast between the good things that had been happening to me. Worse because I wanted out, I wanted out I wanted out. I didn’t want to sit around watching everyone be happy and pretend to join in. I kept telling myself that I was kidding myself. I was fooling myself.
I was worthless.
I started thinking about ending it again. I had managed, before, to smother these thoughts and simply wait for the end in misery. But now they were back and they kept following me around. I would open the drawers in my kitchen and see the knives in them, sparkling at me happily, and the urge to grab them up and ram them into myself was almost irresistible. Ropes and string of all kind waved at me. My razorblade spoke to me in the mornings. Scissors grinned and the pencils I kept around the house were on their knees, begging me to shove them up my nostrils and then bang my head on a table.
I was going crazy.
It climaxed just a few weeks after I moved into the new apartment.
And as your days turn to weeks
You'll cry yourself to sleep
I hadn’t seen or talked to a single one of them for 2 weeks. I had spent 2 weeks in a drunken stupor; I was even drunk at work.
I was considering actually going to look for someone who kept stock of that magical white powder that kept us all sane in Vegas.
A moth into a butterfly
And a lie
Into the sweetest truth
I'm so afraid of life
I was going backwards, I had been right, it was all for nothing, no-one could help me, there was no hope… I deserved every single thing that I got… I didn’t care. I didn’t care I didn’t care I didn’t care I…
I cared too much.
And it all starts to makes sense
All the blood wisely shed
Just wait until the cure comes knocking on your door
I had spiraled spectacularly downwards: the higher you climb the farther the fall. But it wasn’t Bam to pick me up out of this one.
No. It was Jess.
He came, one Sunday, and started banging on my door.
“Ville, I know you’re in there, now open this door!”
I was drunk. I had been for a good few weeks.
“Screw off Jess. Leave me alone.”
“Dude. Open the door before I break it down.”
I told him to go away again; he wouldn’t. I begged, I pleaded with him to be left alone. But he refused.
“Why the fuck do you CARE so much? Just let me alone, I’m not worth the trouble.”
“You know what Ville?” He was yelling at me, but the door muffled the sound a little. “If it was up to me, by now I would be long gone and you would be free to kill yourself in there. But it’s not. Mom’s lost her fucking mind with worry about you and I refuse to let you do that to my mother. Much less my little brother. Now open the fucking door, get yourself sobered up and we’re going for lunch.”
I opened the door.
Slowly. Shamefully. But I opened it.
“Good lord, man. What have you done to yourself? Oh God Mom’s going to blow… come on.” He grabbed me by the hand and I followed him drunkenly.
“I can’t believe I’m having to look after a 28 year old. Pull yourself together, man.”
I shrugged and waved my hand in the air, but I had to grab onto him to steady myself.
“Okay, okay, I get it. You can’t take care of yourself right now. Here, look. Get in the shower. It’ll sober you up a little. And then we’re going.”
“Jess, I don’t friggin want to go to…”
“I don’t care. You’re coming.”
“Why does she care so much Jess?” I mumbled, trying to find some soap in my cabinets. It was hopeless; the apartment was in a mess.
“She thinks you’re her adopted son, that’s why. And you need the help, obviously. So. She’s determined to do it.”
“I don’t fucking need help. I was just fine before your dumbass brother decided to hit me with his goddam car.”
Jess rolled his eyes.
“Yeah and that’s another thing. My little brother looks up to you like you’re a second God or something. He likes you, Ville. He’s all pissed off right now that you don’t care enough to even answer his calls. I mean, I know he’s an annoying shit sometimes but come on. He’s a good kid.”
I nod, sighing. He was a good kid. I regretted the outburst immediately.
“I’m sorry, Jess. I’m a mess. I’ve always been a mess. I’m fucking kidding myself if I think I can clean up now.”
“You were doing fine. Wait. You’re not on drugs, are you?”
I shook my head and laughed at him.
“I can’t afford drugs anymore, Jess. Not to say I’ve never … no. Not going there. Sorry. Right. Shower.” I left him looking very confused and somewhat disturbingly intrigued as I had a shower and tried my best to sober up.
I’m so afraid of life
I took a detour on the way to their house to buy April a bunch of flowers and Phil a bottle of wine.
They welcomed me with open arms. Again. I crushed my questions and just let them hug me; and then I grinned at Bam and told him I had something for him.
I’d bought him the newest video game. I’d bought it awhile before. But then I had stopped seeing them.
He grinned at me as I handed it to him and we sat down and played it for hours.
Nothing had changed.
I was over the tough part.
I see the seasons changing
The beginning of something new is always the hardest part.
I’d lost my job because of the 2 weeks of drunken stupor, and I had planned on not letting them find this out at all.
But of course, secrets never keep secret.
Bam found me in my favorite coffee store a few days after Jess had dragged me out of hiding, looking desperately through a newspaper to find a job that I could do. Which meant that it couldn’t require any qualifications at all. Which was hard to find.
“Whatcha looking at?” Bam sat down across the table from me and grabbed the newspaper out of my hands before I’d even registered that he was there.
“Jobs? Why? I thought you liked your job cuz you didn’t have to do anything?”
“Yeah but …”
“You got fired, didn’t you?”
I nodded.
“Why?”
I hadn’t told them what I’d been doing in the past few weeks. Only Jess had any idea at all. I sighed.
“It um… wasn’t working…”
“What wasn’t?”
“The job… I mean… I… had a few disagreements with some customers… and…”
“Ville you know if you don’t want to tell me the truth you don’t have to say anything.”
“Oh. Right. Um. Okay. Then I wont say anything. Give me my newspaper back, kid. I kind of need to find something to do.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ve already found you something.”
I blinked at him.
“Excuse me?”
“Yeah. You’ll see. Don’t worry about it.”
“Um, Bam, I don’t think you get this. Without a job, I do not eat. I do not have a place to live. I do not have anything.”
“I know. So I’m getting you a job. It’ll pay three times as much as that other one too. And you’ll get to work with extremely hot women. Seriously. Leave it to me, I’ll sort it out.”
While I knew that Bam had a scary knack at what he called ‘sorting things out’, for the first part this wasn’t something I wanted to play around with because without money … obviously you can’t live without money. And for the second part, I didn’t give a damn about hot women. And the third part … I just didn’t trust him with something as important as this.
“No, Bam. Seriously. I’d rather you didn’t.”
“Ville, it’s basically sorted already. Really. Mom’s been working at it too.”
This made me angry. Why were they doing this behind my back?
“Oh, but only for like a day or two. And she’s been trying to tell you but you haven’t answered your phone.”
“Oh. Well are you going to enlighten me?” He shrugged.
“The music teacher at my school needs an assistant. God only knows why. And you seem to be musically talented, we’ve heard your humming and Jess heard you play piano when you thought no-one was home so we know you’d be okay…”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Bam wait. I’m not qualified to … I mean… Bam I didn’t even pass the 10th grade!”
“You didn’t?”
“No!”
“Oh. Well that doesn’t matter, does it? It’s not like you have to do calculus. All you have to do is help her out.”
“But… what Bam wait. I can’t. I’m horrible with kids. I… what? How? They’ll take one look at me and throw me out.” This, I thought, was true. I had tattoos on most parts of my body, which, though I tried to cover them up, the Margera family had discovered while I stayed at their house. One arm was covered and there were various other ones dotted around my body. I don’t remember getting most of them. They all came from Vegas; it was more than likely I was paid by the tattoo artist to let him try them out on me. I didn’t necessarily like all of them, but I couldn’t even think of getting rid of them; I didn’t have the money. Then there was my love for eyeliner. My long, shaggy hair. And the fact that I was so skinny I looked like a concentration camp victim.
And they wanted me to work in a school?
The venus denies you in your dark waters
The moon kissed the sun and now we hold her in our blood
“April, it just makes no sense. I appreciate the help but really… I couldn’t do that.” I had marched Bam straight back to his house to check if he was telling the truth - he was, of course. He never lied.
“Oh, Ville, honey, have some confidence. They’ll love you. You could do it just fine. You wouldn’t have to teach. Of course not. She just wants an assistant that has some sense of music to help out here and there. You’d be in the classroom, sure, but it wouldn’t be in a teaching role.”
“No, look, April you don’t get it.” I sighed, took a deep breath, and tried to calm down. “I never finished 10th grade. I can’t go back to school… I just… no.” I dreaded going to a school, 13 years older than kids who knew more than I ever did.
“Well that’s… you didn’t? I didn’t know that. But look, they’re not looking for someone because of their academic skills. They just want help. And someone musical. And I have friends in the board and… Ville you’d get paid so well…”
I sighed. Money. If it wasn’t for money…
If it wasn’t for money I’d be a long, long way from here, I thought. And then I sighed again and let my hands fall to my sides.
“Right. Okay. Fine. But if this doesn’t work… I…”
“It’ll work, Ville. Trust me.”
“Plus, Ms. Harolds is totally hot,” Bam piped up. I rolled my eyes as April shunned him for saying it.
“I’ve told you before, kid, I’m not … looking for… bah whatever.” I waved it away, refusing to discuss it with them.
“You’re crazy,” Bam said, rolling his eyes at me. I shrugged.
“Maybe. Oh well. It happens.”
I sank into a chair next to the kitchen table and propped my head up on my hands. This was all exhausting. And I was still hung over from the weeks of drunkenness. April sat down next to me and put an arm on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry, darling. If you don’t want to, then it’s fine. I’ll just tell them you’re not interested and we can forget about it.”
I waved that suggestion away with a hand.
“No, no it’s fine. I’m just… tired, is all.”
“Okay. Well if you’re sure… they want to have you in for an interview the day after tomorrow.” I nodded.
“What about all this?” I said, waving my tattooed arm - I was wearing a short sleeved shirt - in front of her face.
She shrugged. “I honestly don’t think they’ll care too much. It’s not the best school in the world.”
I sighed and nodded. “Okay. If you’re sure this… will… work.”
She insisted that she was. And then she insisted on me staying for dinner. I protested, claiming - falsely - that I had plans with someone else but they saw right through me and I was forced to eat. It was good, but I was beginning to regret the layers of fat that I could just tell I were beginning to build up as a result of all the good food.
I went to the interview. I played piano. I sang. I flattered, I talked, I smiled. I joked. I pretended to know what I was talking about.
A moth into a butterfly
And a lie into the sweetest truth
And I got the job. They were desperate for someone to fill it and I was the best candidate.
And that was the beginning of what amounted to be the rest of my life.