Writing Fan Fic: it's harder than you think.
I have the most ridiculous, mad, love and respect times infinity to all those brilliant fan fic writers I friggin' love so much, in all my various fandoms.
I, sadly, missed my first deadline for the rainbowfilling challenge because, not only was I dealing with end-of-the-year school work, I was also dealing with helping a friend through drama, giving in my two week notice at the job I've had for the pass three years, starting a brand new job in the field I actually like, and on top of it, making sure I wrote and revised not one, but TWO, fic exchanges for the summer (I wanted to focus on the fic exchanges just because, well, they're written with someone in mind and I hate disappointing anyone.)
And did I mention the last decent fic I wrote was in another fandom, on a whim, over a year ago, and before that it was over 10 years ago?!
Seriously, shit, what the fuck was I thinking?! O_O
Just writing for one fic exchange is killing my brain and making me all angsty and shit. There's a lot of "wtf, you are a retarded writer" and "seriously. you are so cliche. never write again." moments as I was going through this process. I can see why some artists get all emo, drink coffee, and smoke. There's a lot of self deprecating involved in this process.
So to those brilliant writers who manage to put up some ridiculously amazing pieces of fan literature, my hats off to you for having the mental strength and talent to create something that awesome while still dealing with everyday stresses in addition to deadline stress and self-inflicted ones.
Now that one--god, really, just one?-- exchange fic is essentially about to be done (beta'd and revised, twice o_O), I can at least take a day to breathe before I dive back into my second exchange fic.
I will eventually know what it's like NOT to have exhaustion live in my chest cavity, right? Right?