Been a while....
I wish to update but I don't know how it will sound...
I am home, relaxing...or was for a bit. I have been seeing friends and learning about those I have not seen in 6 months. I am at the Cape and it is a new year. Happy New Year.
I of course remember things from years past on this day and as happy as the memories are, sadness comes with many of the memories. I remember how happy I have been in the past and know that I do not have that now. I have a great job and an opportunity to see the world and I am very content with that...but the things I wil miss not being home bother me. The lives of all my friends and family that I will not see. Weddings and birthday. Events and Holidays. I want to settle down and find that one person to be with but cannot do ANY of that while I float around on a ship. I know I will not be staying on a ship for more than two years...if that. I love the job, I do, but I am a person who has to be with the people I care about and not away on a ship wishing happy birthdays and congrats on graduating or being married. I am already sad for all I have and will miss in the lives of my close friends and I have noticed it more and more as I have visited people during my time off.
This year will be really hard for me and I don't know how to change it. I am sad for everything I had is here and I will not be here. I miss everyone already and I am here until feb 6th.
New Years is a day to celebrate new beginnings and the start of a year to be, but I know i will not be here and that depresses me.
All i can do is hope everyone understands that I must do this and that someday i will be back to stay and settle and be truly happy again...I just wish I knew how to get there faster.
I do hope everyone else has a year to remember in a good way and that you all know I wish the best to every single one of you no matter where I happen to be because you all are my life, my happiness and my hope when I come back.
Thank you for being my friends.
~Brian
I am home, relaxing...or was for a bit. I have been seeing friends and learning about those I have not seen in 6 months. I am at the Cape and it is a new year. Happy New Year.
I of course remember things from years past on this day and as happy as the memories are, sadness comes with many of the memories. I remember how happy I have been in the past and know that I do not have that now. I have a great job and an opportunity to see the world and I am very content with that...but the things I wil miss not being home bother me. The lives of all my friends and family that I will not see. Weddings and birthday. Events and Holidays. I want to settle down and find that one person to be with but cannot do ANY of that while I float around on a ship. I know I will not be staying on a ship for more than two years...if that. I love the job, I do, but I am a person who has to be with the people I care about and not away on a ship wishing happy birthdays and congrats on graduating or being married. I am already sad for all I have and will miss in the lives of my close friends and I have noticed it more and more as I have visited people during my time off.
This year will be really hard for me and I don't know how to change it. I am sad for everything I had is here and I will not be here. I miss everyone already and I am here until feb 6th.
New Years is a day to celebrate new beginnings and the start of a year to be, but I know i will not be here and that depresses me.
All i can do is hope everyone understands that I must do this and that someday i will be back to stay and settle and be truly happy again...I just wish I knew how to get there faster.
I do hope everyone else has a year to remember in a good way and that you all know I wish the best to every single one of you no matter where I happen to be because you all are my life, my happiness and my hope when I come back.
Thank you for being my friends.
~Brian