❝your words like smoke they made me sick but they kept me warm❞
Title: Words Like Smoke
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Words: -1,500
Characters: Taiwan ;; Vietnam ;; Thailand ;; Hong Kong ;; Korea ;; Japan ;; China
Rating: G+
Warnings: Nothing much
Summary: For hetalia_contest's Week 003 theme, "Mirrors." Her siblings’ faces mirrored hers like puzzle-pieces. But she had made the choice to leave, and now she had to face the effects of that choice.
Words Like Smoke
Your heartbeat is pulsing at night in your chest
It's gold and it's glowing with all the life you have left
I received your words from hospitals where you felt alone
Your words like smoke, they made me sick but they kept me warm
Run where you'll be safe
Through the garden gates
To the shelter of magnolias
Your eyes are like sea glass, so weathered and worn
From all they've seen of adolescence torn
The lovers who have tainted you, they pulled you into the night
They touched your skin with velvet gloves and made you feel alive
Run where you'll be safe
Through the garden gates
To the shelter of magnolias
There's not much time
The blush in the sky begins to fade
You are weathered and worn
Your petals soft and torn
The fading color
You have bent your shoulders
To hold the weight of the world
You will surely shatter
Run where you'll be safe
Through the garden gates
To the shelter of magnolias
There's not much time
The blush in the sky begins to fade
She is woken by the nightmares that are really memories. Running outside, she collapses by the small lake. The moon’s ethereal glow is reflected in the water.
She is almost scared of what she will see as she lowers her head to gaze into the water, at her own reflection.
Her hair catches her attention first-long and dark, like a curtain of silk around her face. Hair just like her sister’s.
“Wan-wan, someday they’ll tell stories about us.” she had said, pinning up her little sister’s hair with flowers and pins, “We’ll be the two beautiful Asian sisters, those heartbreakers of the East.” She had a deliriously wonderful laugh.
But then, something changed.
Her hair became like a whip, swirling out behind her as she fought all her enemies-including herself. “Why…?” she rasped, weakened and defeated. “Why did you leave our brother, Taiwan? Why did you abandon me?” Vietnam’s eyes are wet with tears as she turns away, hair fanning out behind her.
Taiwan wipes a single tear from her cheek and looks bravely back at her reflection, forcing a smile-the smile she shares with her brother.
“Why so prim, Miss Taiwan?” he’d said, chuckling. “Such a pretty girl shouldn’t look so solemn all of the time.”
But he hadn’t forgiven her, either.
The laughter gone from his eyes, he shook his head. “You shouldn’t have left him. Even he didn’t deserve that, Taiwan. He’s our brother.” Thailand, who she’d never before seen without a laugh, smiles sadly-but then he, too, walks away.
Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, she tells herself, but it’s too late-the smile has fallen from her lips. Pink as soft shells, they turn into a scowl that normally belongs on her youngest brother’s face.
“Nee-chan, I don’t want to smile,” he says, the strange combination of languages sneaking into his speech. Their foreheads are close together, and she’s grasping his hands in hers. Identical lips on their faces, save for one thing-hers are turned up in a smile, his down in a frown. “I don’t want to leave.”
She waited one hundred and fifty years for him to come back, sure that he’d understand.
“You left him,” he says coldly, those unforgiving lips spewing words of condemnation. “I wanted nothing more than to come back. How could you, Taiwan?” He’s not scowling, now-Hong Kong is positively glaring at her as he backs out of the room.
Why couldn’t he understand?-Taiwan’s head bows into the water as she tries to brush away her tears, and the reflection is disturbed for a moment as that one, troublesome strand of hair hits the water’s surface. For one, painful instant, she sees another brother’s face.
“Look, sis, we match,” he laughs as he pulls on that one strand, his own bobbing with the movement. “Our older bros don’t have these, but we do. We’re special, sis.” He grips her around the waist and hoists her into the air as she yells at him to put her down-even though she enjoys it.
Didn’t he have the same problem she did? Didn’t he make the same choice?
“I didn’t chose to leave him,” he mutters, his ahoge accented by a desolate frown. “If America and Russia hadn’t interfered…” his voice trails off as his face spasms in pain at the memory. “You had a choice, Taiwan,” South Korea says mercilessly. “You chose to leave.” His shadow is made distinct by that ahoge as he walks away.
But she had no choice, she thinks bitterly. Looking back at the water, she sees that her eyes have become red with her tears. Her dark, heavily-lashed eyes mirror that other brother’s…the brother she loves in ways she can’t really understand.
“Taiwan-san, welcome,” he says, a smile not on his lips but in his eyes. “Don’t worry, we will look after you.” Her brow furrows as she tries to understand the language, but perhaps he takes it for sadness. His eyes are brilliant, like dark opals, as they look into hers. Hesitantly, he touches her cheek. “I won’t abandon you, like he did.”
But even though she loved him, she couldn’t make him understand.
“You disobeyed every rule, Taiwan,” he murmurs, his eyes cold as ice. His face is a blank, withheld mask as he looks at her. She shivers, and he shakes his head slowly. “You had no right to do what you did.” Japan, whose eyes had never looked more like the furious, rising sun he calls his own, didn’t even meet her gaze as he stepped away.
They all said that she had done something wrong, but she didn’t see what else she could do. Her hair falls over her shoulders as she sits back, the smile gone from her face. Her lips have curled into a pout as she tries to stave off more tears, and that stupid, curling hair is getting into her face, now, so she brushes it away impatiently. Her eyes close, strained, as she tries to rid herself of her reflection-she can’t even look at her own face without remembering them, all of them, and how much they must hate her, now. They are all one and the same, these Asian siblings, and she can’t free herself of their shadows.
“Taiwan…?” The voice is soft and questioning. “What are you doing, aru?” She opens her eyes, knowing full well whose face she’s about to see. Of all her siblings, he looks the most like her-their faces are mirror images of one another’s, in everything from the small, round noses and milky skin to the dark lashes and pointed chins.
“You’re my dear little sister, Mei-mei,” he says, holding her close against him as she buries her face in his chest. He is rocking her to sleep, his face so close to hers that she can feel his breath on her forehead. “Don’t let anyone ever tell you that we should be apart, aru.”
She is half-asleep, now, but the words drift towards her, and she smiles softly with her eyes closed as she realizes the meaning of his words. “I love you,” she whispers, blushing. He nods in affirmation and mirrors the sentiment.
But she could not agree with him.
“You’re leaving?” he cries, shocked, his face contorting with pain. The wind blows around them, their hair and long sleeves floating up on it. “Why?”
“I have to!” she screams, all normal propriety forgotten. Tears stream down her face and streak her cheeks. “I can’t stay.” Her voice isn’t apologetic, though she feels like she’s breaking in two.
“You’re making a mistake,” he warns her. She is sure that cold decision in his voice is a thing he’s learned from Russia. “Taiwan!” She shakes her head. This time, it is she who walks away-away from China, away from her family, away from everything.
“Say it,” she orders him, a scowl spoiling her lovely features.
He raises one brow in question, confused.
“Tell me you hate me,” she expands, her voice dripping poison. “Everyone else already has-over and over, even in my dreams. So, go on and tell me how I’m not longer a member of your family.”
“Why would I do that, aru?” China frowns.
She only hiccups loudly, her voice once again lost to her sobs.
“Taiwan…” his voice trails off, and she doesn’t realize he’s moved until he picks her up in his arms as though she were a child. Slowly, he cradles her, pulling her head to his chest. “It’s been fifty years, Mei-mei. You’re home, now.”
He’s rocking her gently, and she looks up at him to see the face they share. It’s almost like looking into a mirror. Her tears recede, then stop. Still, she’s clutching on to him, can feel his heart beat through his chest.
“I still won’t say I’m sorry,” she murmurs. She did nothing wrong, after all.
His eyes crinkle as he smiles. “Then I won’t, either.”
The next morning, she awakes in her own bed. Her eyes blink open as she sees Vietnam, smiling beneficently, her hair gleaming in the new sunlight. Taiwan jumps up, only to see South Korea and Thailand seated by the bed, a wicked grin on Korea’s ahoge and a chuckle escaping Thailand’s lips. Hong Kong and Japan are standing, poised and serious as ever, but Hong Kong offers her a tiny smile, and there is a light in Japan’s eyes. As she rises to her feet, China enters.
Her brother-who is also her mirror-approaches slowly, a sly grin on his features. She offers him a shy smile, and suddenly, she’s being hugged, again. All those other siblings-whose faces mirror hers like puzzle pieces-suddenly join in, Korea grabbing Japan by the hand to lead him to the group hug, and Vietnam coaxing Hong Kong along.
Caught up in the warmth of her family, Taiwan finally allows the shadows of the past to fade, like smoke reflected in a mirror.
---
Footnotes:
*Opening lyrics are from the song “Magnolia” by the Hush Sound.
* This fic references the Chinese Civil War.
* The opinions of Taiwan’s siblings have only a bit to do with actual history.
* The last scene represents the fact that most world governments recognize Taiwan as a part of China, again.
* Please note that this fic is NOT meant to voice any opinions on Taiwan's independence. I don't think she's ruled by China again; this fic is meant to show that time sort of washes away a lot of things...
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Words: -1,500
Characters: Taiwan ;; Vietnam ;; Thailand ;; Hong Kong ;; Korea ;; Japan ;; China
Rating: G+
Warnings: Nothing much
Summary: For hetalia_contest's Week 003 theme, "Mirrors." Her siblings’ faces mirrored hers like puzzle-pieces. But she had made the choice to leave, and now she had to face the effects of that choice.
Words Like Smoke
Your heartbeat is pulsing at night in your chest
It's gold and it's glowing with all the life you have left
I received your words from hospitals where you felt alone
Your words like smoke, they made me sick but they kept me warm
Run where you'll be safe
Through the garden gates
To the shelter of magnolias
Your eyes are like sea glass, so weathered and worn
From all they've seen of adolescence torn
The lovers who have tainted you, they pulled you into the night
They touched your skin with velvet gloves and made you feel alive
Run where you'll be safe
Through the garden gates
To the shelter of magnolias
There's not much time
The blush in the sky begins to fade
You are weathered and worn
Your petals soft and torn
The fading color
You have bent your shoulders
To hold the weight of the world
You will surely shatter
Run where you'll be safe
Through the garden gates
To the shelter of magnolias
There's not much time
The blush in the sky begins to fade
She is woken by the nightmares that are really memories. Running outside, she collapses by the small lake. The moon’s ethereal glow is reflected in the water.
She is almost scared of what she will see as she lowers her head to gaze into the water, at her own reflection.
Her hair catches her attention first-long and dark, like a curtain of silk around her face. Hair just like her sister’s.
“Wan-wan, someday they’ll tell stories about us.” she had said, pinning up her little sister’s hair with flowers and pins, “We’ll be the two beautiful Asian sisters, those heartbreakers of the East.” She had a deliriously wonderful laugh.
But then, something changed.
Her hair became like a whip, swirling out behind her as she fought all her enemies-including herself. “Why…?” she rasped, weakened and defeated. “Why did you leave our brother, Taiwan? Why did you abandon me?” Vietnam’s eyes are wet with tears as she turns away, hair fanning out behind her.
Taiwan wipes a single tear from her cheek and looks bravely back at her reflection, forcing a smile-the smile she shares with her brother.
“Why so prim, Miss Taiwan?” he’d said, chuckling. “Such a pretty girl shouldn’t look so solemn all of the time.”
But he hadn’t forgiven her, either.
The laughter gone from his eyes, he shook his head. “You shouldn’t have left him. Even he didn’t deserve that, Taiwan. He’s our brother.” Thailand, who she’d never before seen without a laugh, smiles sadly-but then he, too, walks away.
Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, she tells herself, but it’s too late-the smile has fallen from her lips. Pink as soft shells, they turn into a scowl that normally belongs on her youngest brother’s face.
“Nee-chan, I don’t want to smile,” he says, the strange combination of languages sneaking into his speech. Their foreheads are close together, and she’s grasping his hands in hers. Identical lips on their faces, save for one thing-hers are turned up in a smile, his down in a frown. “I don’t want to leave.”
She waited one hundred and fifty years for him to come back, sure that he’d understand.
“You left him,” he says coldly, those unforgiving lips spewing words of condemnation. “I wanted nothing more than to come back. How could you, Taiwan?” He’s not scowling, now-Hong Kong is positively glaring at her as he backs out of the room.
Why couldn’t he understand?-Taiwan’s head bows into the water as she tries to brush away her tears, and the reflection is disturbed for a moment as that one, troublesome strand of hair hits the water’s surface. For one, painful instant, she sees another brother’s face.
“Look, sis, we match,” he laughs as he pulls on that one strand, his own bobbing with the movement. “Our older bros don’t have these, but we do. We’re special, sis.” He grips her around the waist and hoists her into the air as she yells at him to put her down-even though she enjoys it.
Didn’t he have the same problem she did? Didn’t he make the same choice?
“I didn’t chose to leave him,” he mutters, his ahoge accented by a desolate frown. “If America and Russia hadn’t interfered…” his voice trails off as his face spasms in pain at the memory. “You had a choice, Taiwan,” South Korea says mercilessly. “You chose to leave.” His shadow is made distinct by that ahoge as he walks away.
But she had no choice, she thinks bitterly. Looking back at the water, she sees that her eyes have become red with her tears. Her dark, heavily-lashed eyes mirror that other brother’s…the brother she loves in ways she can’t really understand.
“Taiwan-san, welcome,” he says, a smile not on his lips but in his eyes. “Don’t worry, we will look after you.” Her brow furrows as she tries to understand the language, but perhaps he takes it for sadness. His eyes are brilliant, like dark opals, as they look into hers. Hesitantly, he touches her cheek. “I won’t abandon you, like he did.”
But even though she loved him, she couldn’t make him understand.
“You disobeyed every rule, Taiwan,” he murmurs, his eyes cold as ice. His face is a blank, withheld mask as he looks at her. She shivers, and he shakes his head slowly. “You had no right to do what you did.” Japan, whose eyes had never looked more like the furious, rising sun he calls his own, didn’t even meet her gaze as he stepped away.
They all said that she had done something wrong, but she didn’t see what else she could do. Her hair falls over her shoulders as she sits back, the smile gone from her face. Her lips have curled into a pout as she tries to stave off more tears, and that stupid, curling hair is getting into her face, now, so she brushes it away impatiently. Her eyes close, strained, as she tries to rid herself of her reflection-she can’t even look at her own face without remembering them, all of them, and how much they must hate her, now. They are all one and the same, these Asian siblings, and she can’t free herself of their shadows.
“Taiwan…?” The voice is soft and questioning. “What are you doing, aru?” She opens her eyes, knowing full well whose face she’s about to see. Of all her siblings, he looks the most like her-their faces are mirror images of one another’s, in everything from the small, round noses and milky skin to the dark lashes and pointed chins.
“You’re my dear little sister, Mei-mei,” he says, holding her close against him as she buries her face in his chest. He is rocking her to sleep, his face so close to hers that she can feel his breath on her forehead. “Don’t let anyone ever tell you that we should be apart, aru.”
She is half-asleep, now, but the words drift towards her, and she smiles softly with her eyes closed as she realizes the meaning of his words. “I love you,” she whispers, blushing. He nods in affirmation and mirrors the sentiment.
But she could not agree with him.
“You’re leaving?” he cries, shocked, his face contorting with pain. The wind blows around them, their hair and long sleeves floating up on it. “Why?”
“I have to!” she screams, all normal propriety forgotten. Tears stream down her face and streak her cheeks. “I can’t stay.” Her voice isn’t apologetic, though she feels like she’s breaking in two.
“You’re making a mistake,” he warns her. She is sure that cold decision in his voice is a thing he’s learned from Russia. “Taiwan!” She shakes her head. This time, it is she who walks away-away from China, away from her family, away from everything.
“Say it,” she orders him, a scowl spoiling her lovely features.
He raises one brow in question, confused.
“Tell me you hate me,” she expands, her voice dripping poison. “Everyone else already has-over and over, even in my dreams. So, go on and tell me how I’m not longer a member of your family.”
“Why would I do that, aru?” China frowns.
She only hiccups loudly, her voice once again lost to her sobs.
“Taiwan…” his voice trails off, and she doesn’t realize he’s moved until he picks her up in his arms as though she were a child. Slowly, he cradles her, pulling her head to his chest. “It’s been fifty years, Mei-mei. You’re home, now.”
He’s rocking her gently, and she looks up at him to see the face they share. It’s almost like looking into a mirror. Her tears recede, then stop. Still, she’s clutching on to him, can feel his heart beat through his chest.
“I still won’t say I’m sorry,” she murmurs. She did nothing wrong, after all.
His eyes crinkle as he smiles. “Then I won’t, either.”
The next morning, she awakes in her own bed. Her eyes blink open as she sees Vietnam, smiling beneficently, her hair gleaming in the new sunlight. Taiwan jumps up, only to see South Korea and Thailand seated by the bed, a wicked grin on Korea’s ahoge and a chuckle escaping Thailand’s lips. Hong Kong and Japan are standing, poised and serious as ever, but Hong Kong offers her a tiny smile, and there is a light in Japan’s eyes. As she rises to her feet, China enters.
Her brother-who is also her mirror-approaches slowly, a sly grin on his features. She offers him a shy smile, and suddenly, she’s being hugged, again. All those other siblings-whose faces mirror hers like puzzle pieces-suddenly join in, Korea grabbing Japan by the hand to lead him to the group hug, and Vietnam coaxing Hong Kong along.
Caught up in the warmth of her family, Taiwan finally allows the shadows of the past to fade, like smoke reflected in a mirror.
---
Footnotes:
*Opening lyrics are from the song “Magnolia” by the Hush Sound.
* This fic references the Chinese Civil War.
* The opinions of Taiwan’s siblings have only a bit to do with actual history.
* The last scene represents the fact that most world governments recognize Taiwan as a part of China, again.
* Please note that this fic is NOT meant to voice any opinions on Taiwan's independence. I don't think she's ruled by China again; this fic is meant to show that time sort of washes away a lot of things...