friends....
so tonite our bible study was on friends....
i really have sum things to work on in that area. i feel like ive let sooo many ppl down, even by just the little things i do that i dont even think about. wut i did to brooke, that was a conscience mistake, that coulda been avoided. and then it's like, things with bright... we were SOOO tight and then i just like stopped hanging out with him one day and now it's like we dont even kno each other anymore, like he said. i saw him tonite at youth group and it was just like seeing an old friend..... kinda sad that ive let things go like this. it's like i dont even care. but when i really think about it, i do care. i feel so bad and i kno he doesnt want me to feel sorry for him but i do... b/c he's so nice about it and he's just like, as long asur happy. but am i really happy? obviously not....
wut more can i do?
and then eric's here talkin about 'my immortal' by evanesence and maaaan does that song carry memories, let me tell u. there are so many things that i wish i could go bak and change... mostly things in the past year and a half of course. i kno ive said this may times but seriously, where would i be rigth now if i hadnt broken up with eric for zach? how much better off would i be? or would things just be worse? is this the path that God wanted me to take? or was this the path that my free will led me to? there are just sooo many questions i have. and i kno that no matter which decision i make, God's path is always accessible.... i just hate always taking the round-about way. to me tho, that seems to be the only way i kno :-/ y let ppl trust u when u can just rebuild it time adn time again? that might as well be my motto....
wow i sound depressing. in reality tho, im doing pretty good. i should be heading to bed, im tired.. i slept like crap last nite.
sooo g'nite ya'lls!
<3
i really have sum things to work on in that area. i feel like ive let sooo many ppl down, even by just the little things i do that i dont even think about. wut i did to brooke, that was a conscience mistake, that coulda been avoided. and then it's like, things with bright... we were SOOO tight and then i just like stopped hanging out with him one day and now it's like we dont even kno each other anymore, like he said. i saw him tonite at youth group and it was just like seeing an old friend..... kinda sad that ive let things go like this. it's like i dont even care. but when i really think about it, i do care. i feel so bad and i kno he doesnt want me to feel sorry for him but i do... b/c he's so nice about it and he's just like, as long asur happy. but am i really happy? obviously not....
wut more can i do?
and then eric's here talkin about 'my immortal' by evanesence and maaaan does that song carry memories, let me tell u. there are so many things that i wish i could go bak and change... mostly things in the past year and a half of course. i kno ive said this may times but seriously, where would i be rigth now if i hadnt broken up with eric for zach? how much better off would i be? or would things just be worse? is this the path that God wanted me to take? or was this the path that my free will led me to? there are just sooo many questions i have. and i kno that no matter which decision i make, God's path is always accessible.... i just hate always taking the round-about way. to me tho, that seems to be the only way i kno :-/ y let ppl trust u when u can just rebuild it time adn time again? that might as well be my motto....
wow i sound depressing. in reality tho, im doing pretty good. i should be heading to bed, im tired.. i slept like crap last nite.
sooo g'nite ya'lls!
<3