More love and hate...and good-bye.
Here it is, my farewell Sue report. I'm off to Spain in a couple of weeks. If all goes well, I'll see you this coming summer. One last thing: feel free to take and use these icons. They feature our winning worst line. ¡Adios!
TITLE: On the Line of Love and Hate Taking after Salina Rose, I see.
CULPRIT: mustang-grl
SUMMARY:A young woman is entrusted with a medallion of strange and unknown powers. A certain pirate Captain is suffering from boredom. What happens when the arrogence and stubborness of both collides? They are volleyed between love and hate over, and over, and ov This may be the first time that a cut-off summary is a good thing.
BEST LINES: With secure homes and the plentiful number of single men, the small colonies of the Virginia settlements were perfectly suitable for a proper young woman growing up. *muffled laughter*
- "The young woman grabbed onto the reigns of the bridal"
- "Ryder pushed he old mare into the stall"
And, last but not least:
"Ah yes, the sound of a bored and grumpy two ton horse." A two-ton horse?! One ton, dear Suethor, is 2,000 pounds. Two tons, therefore, would be 4,000 pounds. Here are average horse weights:
Shetland 200-225
Pony (small, saddle) 225-350
Pony (large) 250-360
Galloway 275-400
Lightweight hack 350-500
Heavyweight hack 450-600
Draught 550-800
As you can see, there is no such thing as a two-ton horse. Even the biggest Clydesdales weigh about half that much. Unless, of course, this horse is "sooper speshul" like you...then all bets are off. *eyeroll*
THE VERDICT
NAME: Ryder "scarface" "bloodeye"
HAIR: Her hair, which was stained a red brown tone, was chopped short an inch or two above her shoulders, unlike most of the girls her age who had long silken hair.
EYES: One clouded blue eye stared in front of her as she walked, and the other was hidden behind long bangs that brushed across her cheek bones....
Raising a hand, she brushed her finger tips across the smooth surface of her eye patch with a small wince. Now, it didn’t hurt, physically that is. The causes that brought her eye to be in its current handicap was only known to her. Sometimes she would release her eye from its dark prison and look upon the world in all its black and white splendor. At least it was black and white to that eye. It was mostly flooded over with blood spots and numerous scars that stretched over to the flesh of her cheek.
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Her shoed feet Try "shod." that were currently shuffling down the path were almost entirely covered by the long brown cloak type piece she wore to protect her middle class dress from the elements, though it was already dirty. The face, which was spotted with dust at the moment, showed a girl of seventeen or so with the young appearance of a fifteen year old, that she sometimes cursed. Jack, in his early forties, is going to fall for a girl who looks like she's fifteen. Hooray!
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: The "untamable" Spanish stallion Nero, who, surprise surprise, becomes tame at the Mary Sue's touch. This is the "two-ton horse" described earlier. Apparently, being brave enough to go near Nero makes her a "heathen." Because "heathen" = i iz teh kool rebel!!!!
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: Too annoying to describe.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: Jack's One True Love
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: She is CURSED omg!
THE "PLOT":Shhh. I mustn't give away the plot, because it's supposed to be shrouded in mystery, the way that all obvious Suefics pretend to be. I'll give you a few little hints, though, so that you can try to guess what might be happening. First, there's a girl with a fiery spirit who has a mysterious pendant. I know you'll never guess what her place is in the story. Said girl meets up with an old lady who either suddenly gives the Sue advice and we never hear from her again, or she is a well-developed character with ties to other parts of the story. I'll let you figure out which one...it'll be hard, considering Suethors' generous treatment of any non-hot characters over the age of 30. Next, the girl speeds along on her 4,000 pound horse and meets up with a pirate captain who simultaneously annoys her and attracts her. For no good reason, this pirate captain allows her to steer the Black Pearl, although she's had no prior experience sailing. The girl's mysterious pendant would never have any powers that are solely convenient for a Mary Sue, such as yanking the Pearl around in any direction so that the pirate captain could be tossed overboard and the Sue could give him CPR. I mean, who would write a story with a maiden giving obligatory mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to this fellow? To top it all off, the Sue's 4,000 pound horse, which the pirate captain let on the ship for some reason, does something extremely unpleasant on the deck of the Black Pearl. This deed, which I am not at liberty to reveal, irritates the pirate captain for a reason that I can't fathom.
NOTES: For a so-called spitfire, this Sue demonstrates an appalling amount of dependency on her Strong Protecting Man:
" Vulnerable. That’s what he always said I was, and that I needed to change that if I wanted to live a full life. Believe me, I wanted nothing more then to lose that vulnerability, but in time I finally came to realize that losing that was easier said then done. So, until I learned to become more…invulnerable, I let Jack to the manly thing and when the time came I would let him protect me, or whatever you want to call it. Now that I’m actually saying all this stuff I feel pretty whimpy. Of course back then I probably wasn’t the strongest woman on earth."
Exactly right, Ryder. Having to depend on a man for safety will completely erase your vulnerability. And not, in any way, make you more defenseless once that "protection" disappears or turns on you. Oh, but I forgot...it will never disappear; there's no chance that Jack, being older, will die before you, or that he'll get killed in battle, or hauled off to prison, or that he'll abandon you for another woman.
You know, you don't have to be the strongest woman on earth to fend for yourself. You just have to have some courage and self-respect...or at least a healthy distaste for being treated as a child your whole life.
Oh, and Suethor? It's naïveté. Not nievity.
A godforsaken piece of dirt.
*******Hello all! This is my first POTC fic so be gentle…like a kitten…or a marshmallow. Kittens are gentle? Which ever you prefer. How about a wet noodle? Yes, this is a Jack-OC fiction, just like most of ’em out there. But hey, what’s one more right? In that case, what's one less? You'd save yourself time and save readers the trouble of skimming your fanfic to find out if it says something different than the other 6000 Jack OCs on the Pit. If ya don’t mind, could you review my story after readin’ it? It would be most appreciated. So, um…yeah. Read and REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!!!
-----@-------------- -----@-------------- -----@-------------- -----@-------------- (swords, yeah…teehee) Good grief.
Chapter One
*It seemed easy enough. Ride down from the central colonies, avoid thieves of all shape and size, stay along the coast, and find a way to hop a ship over to Port Royal with a horse…a big horse. Easy…yeah, right. As it turns out I didn’t hop a ship, I didn’t make it over to Port Royal, and I didn’t stay along the coast, BUT I did avoid all thieves. Besides one. Then I seemed to be a magnet for all kinds of wrong doers from all corners of the world. And sitting here on this godforsaken piece of dirt A piece of dirt? A piece? How...*sigh* Nevermind, I don't want to know. , I can’t stop thinking about him. No, no, no, its not like that! Of course not, Ms. "what's one more Jack/OC fic?" I mean I can’t stop thinking about how I’m gonna rid the planet of him when I find him, or he finds me…which ever comes first. Before ‘he’ came along everything was fine and dandy. I made it all the way down to the Carolina colonies without a fuss, then he comes along. With his drunken walk, scallywag attitude, and imbecilic manor I knew he would be easy to loose *groan* and forget. Once again…yeah, right.
From the first moment I saw the man I had an instant disliking toward him. "I hate him, but I love him so much more!" Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been around his type before but, he was WAY to sure of himself for my taste. And there's not, of course, any reason for him to be sure of himself, since there's no way he'd ever win your heart or your attention... The surety he had that everyone had heard about him, and the repentant correcting about his title just drove me up the walls. Those hand gestures, that hat, the hair, and that…that, smirk! He had to be the most annoying, arrogant person I’ve every had the pleasure…uh, displeasure, of coming in contact with. Its because of him that almost every pirate on the coast and in the Caribbean is on my tail. He just couldn’t keep his golden toothed mouth shut. And I absolutely, positively regret the moment I shook hands with that despicable man, and the only reason I’m thinking about him so much is because of the need to tear him limb from limb and throw him in the sea he loves so damn much!…At least that’s what I keep telling myself…
I bet your pretty confused about this whole situation about now aren’t ya? As a matter of fact, the situation is perfectly clear. Not that that remedies this trite story, of course. About who this man was, what he opened his trap about, where I am, and exactly who I am. Right? Let me guess..."I'm the lively, smirking, spirited, feisty, spunky Jewelannique Swann Troubadour Jacklyn Turner who has a TRAGIC past and who ignores my true feelings towards my One True Love until we randomly start smooching!" Well I suppose I could tell ya the story…if they don’t get here first that is. I can almost smell their disgusting odor of sweat, salt, gunpowder, and strong rum. Not sure why you'd want to hang around Jack Sparrow, then. I’m not sure why these pirates smell different to me then ‘he’ does. Good point...there must be some special Sue perfume that they spray on their lust objects. It makes the hideous odors of history, plausibility, and canon dissipate. Maybe I just got used to his smell…I had noticed that the smell of rum that always surrounded him, had slowly but surely, added the sweet spice smell to ‘im. I've never smelled pure rum...does it really smell spicy? The salt that was gathered on his body from the years at sea had a bit of freshness to it now, that reminded me of a beach…Whoa there, gettin’ a little off track! So do you really wanna know the story behind all of this blabbering? No. But it's fun to watch you make an utter fool of yourself, so I think I'll stick around. Hmm, should I be worried that I’m having a conversation with myself? Maybe someone really is listening? Ah well, I can worry about that later right? I need to get this out in the open. Otherwise, it'll stink for days on end.
Sue finds out what her mission is.
“You are right child, time is short. But you must also take your time.” the hag let out a dry chuckle and laid the necklace she was toying with on the table in front of Ryder.
Ryder had expected some fine jewel to be placed in the center of the large charm, but nothing could prepare her for what she saw resting on the piece of jewelry. It had to be the most…hideous stone she had ever seen in her life. Being deep brown in color with orange blotches, it looked like a rock that one would find on the side of the road…and not pick up. The only thing that she found attractive about the whole piece was the beautifully formed silver that framed the stone. Sharp points at three sides protruded from the center, and looked as if they could slice open the palm of its owner. But in the end, even the superb ness That's not a word, Suethor. of the metal work could not bring the unwanted attention away from the less than perfect stone.
“Listen to me girl. I need ye to do me a favor of great importance. I am an old lady now and my days are numbered, so the possibility of me achieving this last goal of mine is few. The possibility is few? Oh, how I wish they'd require sentence diagramming in schools these days. You are young and your horse strong; I need you to bring this amulet to its rightful place in the Caribbean. Port Royal is where you must go.” she explained and opened her eyes to reveal ice blue orbs. Even the old ladies are Sueish in this fic! While listening, Ryder almost laughed.
“Let me get this straight old woman. Those gay old women are just too scarce! Ya want me ta ride, not sail, down ta Port Royal, just so I can give this here trinket ta someone?”
“No you must not give it to anyone, for that would bring pain upon us all. You must put it in its place.” the woman warned.
“Sooo, you want me ta just drop it off wherever ya tell me, right?”
“No, not where I tell you child.”
“Oh, come on lady!” Ryder raised her voice at the woman’s confusing directions. “I don’t ‘ave time for this, get someone else ta be yer errand girl woman!” with that, she pulled herself out of the chair and walked with a frustrated gate toward the curtain.
“Your father was a lawyer in England before he came here and met your mother…who was the daughter of a pirate and a whore. He was striped That's interesting. of everything he owned by the rest of his family before you were born, and they moved to the new settlements. They both died when you were ten.”
Ryder stopped dead in her tracks. The first emotion that swept over her was anger at this woman talking about her family. The second feeling was grief over her parents and her lineage. Way to steal Will's angst, Sue!
“I know all that there is to know of you. Of your family, that horse, and your scar. Please child, listen to what I have to say. I am not just a clueless old bag as many would believe. I can tell you things, things you need and want to know. So tell me, Ryder, do I have your attention?” the still unnamed woman asked with a slight hint of desperation in her voice. Turning her head toward her, Ryder gave her answer.
“I stopped walking didn’t I?”
* I should have just kept on walking. But that woman did have my attention by then. Still to this day, I have no idea as to who she was or how she knew the things she did. Since she was a plot contrivance, my author couldn't be bothered to think up a convincing backstory for her. Especially about my parents. Some of the things she told me…Well, lets just say that I didn’t even know most of them. Most of the time, I chose not to believe her. Like the things she told me about the so called ‘almighty power’ of this cruddy piece of jewelry. But the more I carry this amulet, and the more I get chased down by fiends, that I’m not exactly sure are human, the more I start to believe what the hag told me. I wish I had believed her when I started out on this little trip. I probably would have been a lot better off. And now that I think about it, ‘he’ might have been one of the people she warned me about. Though, sometimes I’m not sure about that. Because without him, I probably would have been beheaded, disemboweled, and dismembered about ten times or so. I don’t know what possessed him to stick with me for so long, but I guess I’m glad he did. But I still can’t forgive him right off for opening his big rum soaked mouth about this hunk of junk.
Hmm, I wander if he’s even looking for me? Probably not, I to much of a ‘lard for brains, waste of cargo space’ as he so poetically put it. No kidding. I suppose its to much to ask for him to look for me. After all, I did almost wreck his beloved boat. *outraged gasp* That’s right I said boat, not ship. Hehe, that would probably really burn his boots. What say you, heave_ho-ers? Should be prepare a special bonfire for this Sue? Though I did almost destroy his pride and joy, that’s still no reason for him to do what he did. The last person to steal his "pride and joy," never mind destroy it, ended up stone dead after ten years of Jack tracking him. Before saying that there's "no reason", try thinking about what a ship of one's own means to a pirate. And guess what? I don’t what him to find me! I’m fine all by myself, I don’t need that insufferable man to take care of me! Do I? Of course not. I'd be delighted to 'take care' of you.
Ah. Just go away, I need to sleep. I’ll finish telling this so called ‘adventurous’ story in the morning. Oh, and if you stay up and, ya know, ‘he’ come sauntering by, don’t tell him about all I said. Savvy? Oh…oh no. That blasted man and his speech!* Who else adores Jack's manner of speaking?
Sue talks back to Jack.
Ryder was about to open her mouth, to once again corrected him on the ‘darling’ issue, but her expression froze. The Caribbean…Port Royal. A smile came onto her face as she realized her luck. Someone was on her side after all! But could she convince Jack to let her on his ship? Well he did owe her to some degree. She did drag him off the beach last night, and she did wrap his wound didn’t she? Right, so he owes her a favor. Jacks expression was confused at her unknown happiness when she looked back up to him, and turned even more puzzled when her tone suddenly turned almost…sweet.
“Jack, no…Captain Jack,” she started and batted her good eye at him. “Ya wouldn’t just leave a poor young girl like me ‘ere all by ‘er self would ye?”
“Uh…” the Captain looked around and took one step back as she took a step toward him. He was used to whores, and unnaturally sweet women that he tried to pick up, but when a girl like Ryder, who was up until now hating his entire existence suddenly started acting like this, it threw him a little off.
“After all, Captain Jack Sparrow, I’m only seventeen. There’s no tellin’ what could happen to me out ’ere, all alone.” she said as sweetly as she could muster and took a step closer to him and inhaled quickly. “I know! You could take me with ya, on your grand ship, the Black Pearl. She really is a great ship Captain, I would love ta ride aboard, with you.” she finished. Oh, yeah, great idea. She almost laughed to herself, the only way to a mans heart was through his ship. The eye behind the patch twitched when the pirate made no response. So Ryder grabbed his collar and pulled Jacks face down close to hers. His breath was coated How do you 'coat' breath? with the scent of rum, but Ryder ignored the smell and whispered as seductively as she could.
“In other words, Captain…You owe me!” she yelled the last part, her last nerve snapping. After all, she could only stay out of character for a short amount of time. Captain Jack, on the other hand, could stay out of character for all eternity if that's the way the Suethor wanted him. Jack was jolted back a bit from surprise. Ah well, he knew it couldn’t last forever.
“I owe ya? Why would I owe ye anythin’?” he questioned, clearly a little upset from her act, though he tried to hide it. Because Jack has NO experience masking his emotions.
“I dragged ya off of the beach, I laid ya in front of a warm fire, and I wrapped yer wound! I could ’ave just left ya there fer the sand snakes ta munch on!” she argued, placing her hands firmly on her hips. Sand snakes?
“Ha!” he let out and threw his hands in the air. “I would’ve been fine without ye! I probably would’ve been a lot betta You would have been a fish?, cause now I gotta deal with a whiny little whelp lass!”
“Whiny! Well aren’t ye just chock full a gratitude! Ye know everyone was right about you pirates! I should’ve just let Nero ‘ere stomp ya ta death!” at that Nero let out a deep sound beside her. “But fine! Since your obviously not in the generous mood, I’ll just be goin’!” she finished and started ta hoist herself up onto Nero’s back. “Goodbye Mr. Sparrow.” with that she took off down the beach.
Jack stood there with a stubborn look on his face as she watched the young woman ride off. Whether he liked it or not, he did owe her something. Probably nothing would have happened if she had left him on the beach, but it was the fact that she ‘didn’t’ leave him on the beach that left him feeling guilty as he watched her go off on her own. Even though she was trying to literally sweet talk him back there, she was right, he didn’t really want to let her go off alone. She was just a young girl after all. And she'd be much safer with a horny pirate twice her age than she would by herself. He was Captain Jack Sparrow though, why did he care about a runt of a girl like Ryder? Good question. He had to admit, when he woke up that morning by the warmth of a dieing fire, he felt thankful toward the one eyed girl. He wasn’t sure how she managed it with her small stature, but she had somehow got him all the way into the forest, and she had even dressed his wound. At that thought, Jack raised a hand to brush over the still tender cut. It was strange, he wasn’t even sure how he had got it. Finally, the Captain pushed aside his pride Noooooooo! and called out to the still retreating girl.
“Ryder! Stop, stop, stop!” he called bringing Ryder and Nero to a halt. The said girl couldn’t help but smile at the approaching man. Not only because he had called her by her real name and not ‘love’ or ‘darling’, also because that sweet talk had worked. Ha, men were so easy. All you needed was a Depp-lusting Author and a little fictional mind control. Otherwise, the 'easy' one would be you, Sue. She could have easily rode over to him, but she decided to make him come to her, after all it was he who wanted to see her right? When the pirate finally reached the duo, he stood there staring at her for a moment. He knew what game she was playing…hard to get.
“What’d ya want Sparrow?” she questioned in fake harshness.
“Come down off tha’ beast and I’ll tell ye.” he replied looking up at her with squinting eyes. Ryder sighed and slide down off the animal and stood expectantly in front of Jack with one hand on her hip and the other grasping Nero’s reigns.
“Ok, ‘ere’s how it is lass,” the Captain started. “you want ta get passage aboard me ship, so this is wha’ I’m gonna do. I will let you come aboard me ship, only on the count that ye went through all tha’ trouble last night. But ye’ll ’ave ta earn your way, yer not gonna get any special treatment jus’ cause ye did me a favor, savvy?”
“Tha’s it? Yer jus’ gonna make me work like any other crew member, and in return ye’ll drop me off in Port Royal? No catches?” Ryder questioned a bit suspiciously.
“Course not love.” he gave her that smirk again. “Unless ye’d like me ta repay ya in a more…entertaining fashion.” at this the girl raised her brow, then looked down to her right side where she felt the fingers of Jack slowly run along. Gasping, she looked back up at him with wide eyes, and pulled her arm back to give him a good backhanded slap across the face, sending our dear Captain Sparrow slightly off balance from surprise.
“I’m not one of yer rum drunk whores Sparrow!” she yelled. "I should think not, darlin'. You are both sober and infinitely less interesting."
“Its ’ard fer a man ta tell, the way ya let ’im do it!” Jack blurted out, but suddenly regretted it when he saw her pulling back again and slapping him again. It was only palm first this time, but the strong sting was there none the less. The man wasn’t sure why, but something about this girl just made him want to yell and insult. Then sometimes she made him want to roll his eyes and give in. Women were so complicated Maybe in general, but come on, Jack! This Sue's so transparent you could use her as a spyglass! , even to Captain Jack Sparrow.
“Joke,” the spat out and turned his face slowly, almost cautiously back toward her with a slight smile. “just a joke, darling.”
“Men.” Ryder muttered and turned away from him. Spoken like a woman who turned into a puddle at the first glimpse of Jack's eyes. “I’m goin’ fer a walk. I need ta get away from ya for a while before I scratch out yer eyes.”
“I wouldn’t do tha’. Ye wouldn’t want ta miss yer ship now would ya?” he called after her, regaining his composure. She only turned back with a laugh as she came near to the top of a sand hill.
“Ha! If that ship ‘does’ show up, which I doubt it will, Captain…Captain…” she stood there looking down on him, seething trying to come up with an insult. Finally she spit out. “Captain Canary!” Oh noes! Jack is for ever wounded by this grievous insult! Jack only stood there with an unreadable expression. He had been called a bastard, a dirty dog, even a blood thirsty criminal…but Captain Canary? He had to admit, it was slightly clever No, not even slightly. of the girl, him taking so much pride in his name and all. The man let out a groan then turned his attention back to her when she continued.
“And if that ship, no…BOAT, does show up, I will personally serve ya yer meals, shine yer boots, an’ sharpen yer blade fer a week!” she spat out in anger. She likes to spit, this one. Maybe Jack should give her some seaweed grog; that'd shut her up. Honestly, that man had made so many remarks toward her that it was getting to the point where she’d rather go on riding Nero. She scampered up the hill with the horse in close second, leaving a sighing Jack behind.
Mumbling to herself, Ryder finally reached the top and let out a heavy breath, but that breath was suddenly stopped when she looked out on the horizon. ‘No…oh no’ she thought to herself. ‘It couldn’t possibly…’, but it was. The infamous Black Pearl was quickly making her way over the blue painted scenery. Her mouth drooped Heh. open and her eyes stayed neutral, in a shocked state. Um, please try to learn how to communicate facial expressions. "Shocked" and "neutral" are not synonymous. She heard the sand behind her shift, then felt the gaze of a certain man on her. Turning her rather pathetic expression toward him, she was presented with a smug grin.
“Ah, yer sure gonna make a’ lovely little maid love.” he said with an amused look and reached over to flick her still dropped chin. As he walked on down the other side of the hill and toward his still approaching ship, Ryder just stood there with a look that put puppy dogs to shame. Then that sad little look became blank and she looked around herself before glancing back to Jack and mumbled to herself.
“I really hate that man.” Which is why you'll end up with him at the end of the fanfic.