Who's getting a Cat? I'm getting a Cat!

[heatrose]

this afternoon!  I want her to be vegan, but she will not be vegan tomorrow*, because I don't know enough about vegan cat diets yet, and keep running into the most idiotic things about cats and veganism while trying to learn about the subject.

I think it'll help my psychological state to list them and rant about them. you probably don't want to read this.

• the way to get your cat to be vegan is easy! starve her (or him) for a few days and then present her (or him) with only vegan food!

this requires no further commentary. jerkwad.

• pet food contains byproducts. this is bad.

actually, from what i understand, byproducts are the parts humans won't eat, and if you're buying human-grade pet food, what it means is you're probably using the parts that'd otherwise go to waste. also, they might be more nutritional, although its hellishly difficult to find non-conflicting info on that. (mmmm brains! ok, not brains, 's far as i know.)

• this vegan cat food is good-- its imported from italy!

really? really?? ok, so maybe transportation isn't as energy intensive as it seems, intuitively, and really the production of the thing itself is what takes the most energy (recently read something on this, forgot where)... but this is just aesthetically displeasing. i have no problem with buying cat treats or cat-once-in-awhile food from far away, but having her main source of food come from another continent, across an ocean and then some, when it's nothing special... right. this comment is purely aesthetic and might be stupid.

• if you are going to feed a cat a nonvegan diet, use dry food, not wet food, because you'll be more comfortable with it.

the vast majority of things i've read say that wet cat food is better 'cause cats often don't drink enough water. also yeah, clearly i'm vegan 'cause i'm squeamish. idiot.

• hi i have a website about how your cat can be vegan and i am going to tell you how your cat can be vegan using comic sans, bright red and blue color font colors, and/or all caps.

i am judging you on this, you websites that shall not be named. pretend i am the most stereotypical hipster with the most stereotypical judgmental stare. i am so judging you. although, to be fair, if the content was better i'd probably forgive you. it's not. i am still judging.

also, if i see another website or talk to another person or read another article in which a main argument for or against vegan cats centers on the word "natural" i am going to throw a bucketful of soysage or sausage  at the person or people behind said website or article, involved in said conversation, etc. (soysage or sausage depending on whichever i think the person thinks will be grosser. if the person isn't squeamish about that i'll add some moldy soy cheese, which turns orange and hot pink like nothing else i've seen before and which i find artistically incredible.). ideas of "natural" are social constructions which are totally useless when you're throwing them around without anything behind them (thanks, college).

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*i'm going to give her some non-factory farmed, byproduct-tastic, nutritionally sound (inasmuch as anyone knows anything about it, and it's increasingly difficult to decide that anyone does, but i have to choose somehow) cat food (from whole foods, so ok, + bourgeois points. it was on sale though, so - bourgeois points). oh, and it's not vegan. she's skinny and shy and i want her to gain some weight and hopefully energy and not risk her lacking nutrition when i dont know enough about it.  maybe i'll add some avocado (or chickpeas, nutritional yeast, or that other stuff i read about cats liking). hopefully i can find enough credible info on veganism for cats that she can be at least partly so eventually while still being healthy and happy.

in other news, i'm adopting a cat this evening and her name is Sparkle and she is a one year old tortoiseshell and does cute rolling around cat things and seems pretty smart.