(no subject)
soo its a lil late for a weekend update...but w/e.
soo friday went to a baseball game w/ klink n sarge saw sum ppl upp there..after that came home called amber z, made plans...went over her house round 730ish sarge took me how nice :) then melissa came over round 9ish and we went to meet upp w/ kody n kushner at wendys, where brittany dropped off amber's cell, and then we waited for dave bloom n matt. Then after sitten there for a bit...went to 7/11 met upp w/ a whole shitload of ppl...n then we were sopposed to go to sum keiths kids house...but never ending upp doing that, went to like CVS off of sum road by banks i forget what its called...saw my dowdyy :) aww fucking drunkface haha i love it. then we followed a bunch of kids to this house by like fucking lakeland high school...it was gay bkuz the time we got there i had to go home bkuz of my sweet curfew...soo said hi to a couple of ppl, and then hopped in the car with phil king n matt havnt talked to them in awhile...good guys. Kody called me upp, being all mad that i didnt say bye to him..aww whatta cutie :) then went home n called kody again, talked for a lil n went to bed.
saturday woke upp at i dunno what time..sumtime b4 12 bkuz i had to go to work...it was soo nice outside omg!! n i was pissed i had to work, but i ended upp getting there...the mall was completely deaddd soo i ended upp going home at like 1...aww my skank mite be getting a job there...hell YES!! soo went home ate sum dinner, then my mom took me over to shelbs house...hung out there trying to make sum plans, ending upp being yelled at thro a window by her sweet neighbors...calling me a whore n stuff, it was cute :) loveddd it. fucking threw trailmix n random shit at their window haha. then after sam n tony, matt n steve came n picked uss upp...drove around in the car a lil bit...lil scared i must sayy lol, and then we kept trying to find a place to drink lol...soo we ended upp going to this vacant gargage place where there were like new houses being build had sum barcadi 151 that stuff is sweeeeeeeeeeet...got pretty messed upp...came home shelbs mom new she was drinking, yahh not a good scene...puking everywhere. left our purses in their car...n i still havnt gotten mine bak >:-( urghhh haha. gayness. then didnt end upp going to bed till like 3 or sumthing bkuz i was taking care of shelb...had to get upp for like 10 o'clock mass the next morning w/ hangovers, pretty sweet. then her mom dropped me off.
sunday uhmm worked the whole day...had sum talks w/ my family...n just i've been stressing lately...just this shit w/ what i did b4hand n its all catching upp to me...i pretend like it never happend, but i know it did...i just convince myself not to believe it n then when its brought upp i gett all touchy n sensitive about it...its soo scary to think about...i cant even ryte now....i just feel like soo much is expected of me when im still soo young...i mean as much as i wanna grow upp i dont. its seems soo hard & complicated...i cant be this young n have to think soo old...its seriously messed up. And its soo unfair bkuz im the only one who feels that im going thro this...the only one who actually has to think about sumthing b4 doing it...n its just hardddd. I mean i wanna have fun...but then theres that part in me...being like "no"...goddd i hate it.
but then i think about..."just one night of fun, can fuck upp everything" i dunno maybee im overreacting but the thing is i dont KNOW how to react to it...i dont kno how to deal w/ it..n my parents just think i can pull it outta my ass...they never had to go thro any of this shit...its just bull...n im grounded bkuz of sat n sux till the 18th of april or sum shit...GAYY. they actually think its working...when its really just making the matter worse, i obvisouly still havnt learned if im doing it again...obviously what they think is working isnt or i wouldnt be grounded ryte now.
damnit the only good things i have going for me ryte now, would be my friends n kodyy,thank you for everything...if it wasnt 4 you guys, id fucking probably be going insane ryte now...
lindz: you dont know how much u mean to me, u've been there since the fucking 2nd grade dude, you truely are my best friend and not to mention my first. its ridiculous all of our good times and hard times and yet we're still soo close, i dont know how to thank you enough...for everything you have done for me, i cant put it into words. you are such a beautiful n wonderful person you truely are..even tho u dont see it. its kindah hard to miss tho. you have great things going for you,& you shoudlnt look down on yourself, keep your head high :) Even though u come off strong n intimadating at 1st you have a sensitive side & you do have feelings, ur not a bitch...just strong-minded--i lovee it. Trust me your going to get ur heart broken, hell we all have, but its all a learning experience...and you should seriously get the best there is out there...you are an A-M-A-Z-I-N-G person n i admire that about you, always putting others b4 yourslef n i love you for that dowdzzz. i love you soo much. thank you for everything!! <33 BFS2GH!
amber, amber z, shelb and juliee: u've been there for ne thing i've needed, and you all are wonderful ppl. I cant stress to you enough that im thankfull to have all of you are my friends...i love you all BFF. <33
kodyy- kayy...i know i havnt known you for that long...and i dont even kno why im putting this in here bkuz i kno you never get on the computer...or would read this ne ways, but here it goes:
we just met...but i feel like i've known you 4ever...it mite sound gay but its true.. you seem to get me and i get you...all the times we've hung out maybee only add upp to 4...yet we already havee good memories: carebear laughs...sqweet...deep sexy voice...and just having that feeling of wanting to kiss you again. means a lot. soo thanks for that & being there for me, even tho we like just met :) your awesome <33
soo friday went to a baseball game w/ klink n sarge saw sum ppl upp there..after that came home called amber z, made plans...went over her house round 730ish sarge took me how nice :) then melissa came over round 9ish and we went to meet upp w/ kody n kushner at wendys, where brittany dropped off amber's cell, and then we waited for dave bloom n matt. Then after sitten there for a bit...went to 7/11 met upp w/ a whole shitload of ppl...n then we were sopposed to go to sum keiths kids house...but never ending upp doing that, went to like CVS off of sum road by banks i forget what its called...saw my dowdyy :) aww fucking drunkface haha i love it. then we followed a bunch of kids to this house by like fucking lakeland high school...it was gay bkuz the time we got there i had to go home bkuz of my sweet curfew...soo said hi to a couple of ppl, and then hopped in the car with phil king n matt havnt talked to them in awhile...good guys. Kody called me upp, being all mad that i didnt say bye to him..aww whatta cutie :) then went home n called kody again, talked for a lil n went to bed.
saturday woke upp at i dunno what time..sumtime b4 12 bkuz i had to go to work...it was soo nice outside omg!! n i was pissed i had to work, but i ended upp getting there...the mall was completely deaddd soo i ended upp going home at like 1...aww my skank mite be getting a job there...hell YES!! soo went home ate sum dinner, then my mom took me over to shelbs house...hung out there trying to make sum plans, ending upp being yelled at thro a window by her sweet neighbors...calling me a whore n stuff, it was cute :) loveddd it. fucking threw trailmix n random shit at their window haha. then after sam n tony, matt n steve came n picked uss upp...drove around in the car a lil bit...lil scared i must sayy lol, and then we kept trying to find a place to drink lol...soo we ended upp going to this vacant gargage place where there were like new houses being build had sum barcadi 151 that stuff is sweeeeeeeeeeet...got pretty messed upp...came home shelbs mom new she was drinking, yahh not a good scene...puking everywhere. left our purses in their car...n i still havnt gotten mine bak >:-( urghhh haha. gayness. then didnt end upp going to bed till like 3 or sumthing bkuz i was taking care of shelb...had to get upp for like 10 o'clock mass the next morning w/ hangovers, pretty sweet. then her mom dropped me off.
sunday uhmm worked the whole day...had sum talks w/ my family...n just i've been stressing lately...just this shit w/ what i did b4hand n its all catching upp to me...i pretend like it never happend, but i know it did...i just convince myself not to believe it n then when its brought upp i gett all touchy n sensitive about it...its soo scary to think about...i cant even ryte now....i just feel like soo much is expected of me when im still soo young...i mean as much as i wanna grow upp i dont. its seems soo hard & complicated...i cant be this young n have to think soo old...its seriously messed up. And its soo unfair bkuz im the only one who feels that im going thro this...the only one who actually has to think about sumthing b4 doing it...n its just hardddd. I mean i wanna have fun...but then theres that part in me...being like "no"...goddd i hate it.
but then i think about..."just one night of fun, can fuck upp everything" i dunno maybee im overreacting but the thing is i dont KNOW how to react to it...i dont kno how to deal w/ it..n my parents just think i can pull it outta my ass...they never had to go thro any of this shit...its just bull...n im grounded bkuz of sat n sux till the 18th of april or sum shit...GAYY. they actually think its working...when its really just making the matter worse, i obvisouly still havnt learned if im doing it again...obviously what they think is working isnt or i wouldnt be grounded ryte now.
damnit the only good things i have going for me ryte now, would be my friends n kodyy,thank you for everything...if it wasnt 4 you guys, id fucking probably be going insane ryte now...
lindz: you dont know how much u mean to me, u've been there since the fucking 2nd grade dude, you truely are my best friend and not to mention my first. its ridiculous all of our good times and hard times and yet we're still soo close, i dont know how to thank you enough...for everything you have done for me, i cant put it into words. you are such a beautiful n wonderful person you truely are..even tho u dont see it. its kindah hard to miss tho. you have great things going for you,& you shoudlnt look down on yourself, keep your head high :) Even though u come off strong n intimadating at 1st you have a sensitive side & you do have feelings, ur not a bitch...just strong-minded--i lovee it. Trust me your going to get ur heart broken, hell we all have, but its all a learning experience...and you should seriously get the best there is out there...you are an A-M-A-Z-I-N-G person n i admire that about you, always putting others b4 yourslef n i love you for that dowdzzz. i love you soo much. thank you for everything!! <33 BFS2GH!
amber, amber z, shelb and juliee: u've been there for ne thing i've needed, and you all are wonderful ppl. I cant stress to you enough that im thankfull to have all of you are my friends...i love you all BFF. <33
kodyy- kayy...i know i havnt known you for that long...and i dont even kno why im putting this in here bkuz i kno you never get on the computer...or would read this ne ways, but here it goes:
we just met...but i feel like i've known you 4ever...it mite sound gay but its true.. you seem to get me and i get you...all the times we've hung out maybee only add upp to 4...yet we already havee good memories: carebear laughs...sqweet...deep sexy voice...and just having that feeling of wanting to kiss you again. means a lot. soo thanks for that & being there for me, even tho we like just met :) your awesome <33