(no subject)
Life's been pretty amazing.
In a big, big way
I can't even perceive how it happened
Things were so rough for a while
And now it's hard to figure out how things could get any better
Because every situation in my life right now is pretty much wonderful
The only part of my life that I'm having a hard time with is surprisingly with myself
I've been working on abolishing all my insecurities
They're so detrimental to my happiness
It's like this extreme case of stubborness
I KNOW deep down that I'm fine & accepted & loved
But even if I KNOW, this paranoia always overtakes my being
Like my brain refuses to see the truth, even though it's right there in front of me
And it ruins so many wonderful times and opportunities
Realizing this & confronting it has made things a little easier, I guess
It'll get better. With time.
I have no doubt in that
Yesterday was beautiful
And I really do mean that
Sitting at Randy's apartment
I felt such a crazy connection with everyone
Randy, Manda, Jess, Nanz, and I sat and talked for such a long time
And throughout it all, I felt this warm, sentimental feeling wash over me
And so much happiness I could have cried.
I'm thankful for the past I have with my friends
Because history is amazing.
It really is
BUT.
I'm also thankful for the present times
And everyone I've met over the past year
These people are just as important to me as if I'd known them forever
'Cause it feels like I have.
I love how our group has finally come together
We were so disfuctional for a while
Seriously.
And now we're all one big family
When we're all together, like last night, it just feels amazing to me
I think of how lucky we all are, and how happy I am to be there with them
And wow.
Does it get any better?
I don't have any expectations or needs
And that's why I think the situation Al and I are in works so well for me
I don't NEED him, not at all, in any way
And I don't NEED a relationship. I don't think I even WANT one right now
If we see each other, we see each other
If we don't, we don't
I don't get upset if I don't get to see him
Cause he's free, and he can do whatever he wishes to do
And I'll do the same
But at the end of the day, I know that he cares about me
And that's all that matters.
I've never felt like this... this comfortable with something so uncertain
And I really like this
This is THE BEST.
Seriously.
Life's a beaut :)
I can't believe it's only Monday
And I've got a wonderful week left with my friends
Wow :)
Life's greaaaat
Payce&love<3
Have a good Monday
In a big, big way
I can't even perceive how it happened
Things were so rough for a while
And now it's hard to figure out how things could get any better
Because every situation in my life right now is pretty much wonderful
The only part of my life that I'm having a hard time with is surprisingly with myself
I've been working on abolishing all my insecurities
They're so detrimental to my happiness
It's like this extreme case of stubborness
I KNOW deep down that I'm fine & accepted & loved
But even if I KNOW, this paranoia always overtakes my being
Like my brain refuses to see the truth, even though it's right there in front of me
And it ruins so many wonderful times and opportunities
Realizing this & confronting it has made things a little easier, I guess
It'll get better. With time.
I have no doubt in that
Yesterday was beautiful
And I really do mean that
Sitting at Randy's apartment
I felt such a crazy connection with everyone
Randy, Manda, Jess, Nanz, and I sat and talked for such a long time
And throughout it all, I felt this warm, sentimental feeling wash over me
And so much happiness I could have cried.
I'm thankful for the past I have with my friends
Because history is amazing.
It really is
BUT.
I'm also thankful for the present times
And everyone I've met over the past year
These people are just as important to me as if I'd known them forever
'Cause it feels like I have.
I love how our group has finally come together
We were so disfuctional for a while
Seriously.
And now we're all one big family
When we're all together, like last night, it just feels amazing to me
I think of how lucky we all are, and how happy I am to be there with them
And wow.
Does it get any better?
I don't have any expectations or needs
And that's why I think the situation Al and I are in works so well for me
I don't NEED him, not at all, in any way
And I don't NEED a relationship. I don't think I even WANT one right now
If we see each other, we see each other
If we don't, we don't
I don't get upset if I don't get to see him
Cause he's free, and he can do whatever he wishes to do
And I'll do the same
But at the end of the day, I know that he cares about me
And that's all that matters.
I've never felt like this... this comfortable with something so uncertain
And I really like this
This is THE BEST.
Seriously.
Life's a beaut :)
I can't believe it's only Monday
And I've got a wonderful week left with my friends
Wow :)
Life's greaaaat
Payce&love<3
Have a good Monday