Major Vent Sesh.
It's like a jam sesh, but less fun and more stressed.
I've had a pretty long week and a half, to be honest. And not particularly in a good way. It's just been long and ultimately reminded me of a lot of things that I'm lacking at the moment.
My friend Peter came up from Alaska for the last two weeks, which was the biggest issue because of all the 'history' or lack there of we've had. My favorite part of hanging out with Peter is how much fun it is to talk, and actually talk about legitimate worthwhile informational conversations.
My saddest point at this moment is that I can't talk to Nick like that. I can't watch a movie with Nick and then talk politics afterwards. Conversations with Nick are cutesy. Things with Nick are always cutesy, which I love, being cute is great. But, it's hard not having deeper conversations. Nick and I can barely talk on the phone for more than thirty minutes unless we're talking about my score of financial problems and how to fix them. I hate talking about that with Nick, because I always make him feel like crap. Yeap always funtimes and blargh.
I want to talk to Nick about this, but I'm sort of in hot water at the moment and I don't want to push him to change our relationship. I do have to talk to him about this. I hate not being able to talk to him. And I don't want to turn to other people to talk to. But then again, maybe I'm just selfish to want everything from one guy. But I don't think so on this one. Just a hunch, but couples ought to be able to talk about more than just cutesy stuff.
Still looking for a job. No luck in that department yet. But still looking, and I will find something.
God, I hope so because I'm growing incredibly sad here.
I've had a pretty long week and a half, to be honest. And not particularly in a good way. It's just been long and ultimately reminded me of a lot of things that I'm lacking at the moment.
My friend Peter came up from Alaska for the last two weeks, which was the biggest issue because of all the 'history' or lack there of we've had. My favorite part of hanging out with Peter is how much fun it is to talk, and actually talk about legitimate worthwhile informational conversations.
My saddest point at this moment is that I can't talk to Nick like that. I can't watch a movie with Nick and then talk politics afterwards. Conversations with Nick are cutesy. Things with Nick are always cutesy, which I love, being cute is great. But, it's hard not having deeper conversations. Nick and I can barely talk on the phone for more than thirty minutes unless we're talking about my score of financial problems and how to fix them. I hate talking about that with Nick, because I always make him feel like crap. Yeap always funtimes and blargh.
I want to talk to Nick about this, but I'm sort of in hot water at the moment and I don't want to push him to change our relationship. I do have to talk to him about this. I hate not being able to talk to him. And I don't want to turn to other people to talk to. But then again, maybe I'm just selfish to want everything from one guy. But I don't think so on this one. Just a hunch, but couples ought to be able to talk about more than just cutesy stuff.
Still looking for a job. No luck in that department yet. But still looking, and I will find something.
God, I hope so because I'm growing incredibly sad here.