let there be soup (and feist)
Having survived another day of work, I am home. I feel lazy, so much so that I didn't stop at the A&P to forrage for dinner makings and now am left to ponder "what to eat for dinner?" I have one egg, some bacon, no bread, some mushrooms, spinach and brussels sprouts and a can of bean and bacon soup. I sense no real possibility here. I am stifled by my grocery makings. Lame! I'll have to walk to the store later before I meet Nic after she's done with work. We could just eat the can of soup and call it good, I suppose.
Life continues to be decent to me. I still avoid. I still have panic attacks. I still have people issues on a daily basis but I'm dealing. In fact, I'm dealing a lot better than I have been for a long while. It gives me a little bit of hope even when things are not going our way (and when are they, really?) but it's enough to keep me going and cheer Nic on because she still does so much for me I know I can never say enough to express the depths of my gratitude. I'm sure she'd tell you she signed on for better or worse but given the circumstances I'd say what's happened in the past few years is lifetimes to that commitment. Time served, if you know what I mean. Still, she thinks I'm cool and we are still good together as we barrel toward our fifth wedding anniversary. Somehow I squeak in there when she's feeling down and manage to balance her out with my limited capacity which is the least challenging thing in my life. Cheering her up is the icing on top of my cake because I get to see her smile if I do it right.
So we're going to Feist tonight. With Nic's mom. Now, I like my MIL, don't get me wrong. But the level of this lady's excitement tonight could very well harsh my mellow. This is the same person who plays "Sea Lion Woman" EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. we get in her car. Not just plays it, but turns the volume up to an obnoxious level so you can't possibly tune it out. I told Nicole that I'm going to steal that CD (which we made for her--the irony!) the next time we borrow her car because I just cannot deal. I'm sure tonight we will be punished with another performance before the concert. And to think, I used to like that song. LAME. So yeah, I told Nic months ago that she was sitting between us and I'm bringing pills because, you never know, the squealing could send me.
On that note, I'm off in search of a food bar, which will do in place of an actual lunch, I suppose.