i always thought
that i was a great judge of character. someone who could see the good AND bad in everyone. and watching myself be proven wrong, was one of the most humbling experiences of my life. but it didn't break my heart.
should it have broken my heart?
and i feel sorry for myself for putting up with it. again. for allowing someone so much worse than him to shove his way around my world. and to not even love him like i so desperately tried to force myself to.
and maybe that's where he snapped. when he noticed that my heart was never within his reach. that it was still pressed between pages of old journal entries about someone so completely different than him.
and i'm sorry to my past for comparing him to this new person. because in the end, you were a saint compared to him.
and for days, i wanted to vomit. to scream. because i always thought i was a great judge of character. but i was wrong. again. but now i'm happy to be free. no one will hold me down. ever. and it feels so fucking good to have figured that out.
you could have never broken my heart.
should it have broken my heart?
and i feel sorry for myself for putting up with it. again. for allowing someone so much worse than him to shove his way around my world. and to not even love him like i so desperately tried to force myself to.
and maybe that's where he snapped. when he noticed that my heart was never within his reach. that it was still pressed between pages of old journal entries about someone so completely different than him.
and i'm sorry to my past for comparing him to this new person. because in the end, you were a saint compared to him.
and for days, i wanted to vomit. to scream. because i always thought i was a great judge of character. but i was wrong. again. but now i'm happy to be free. no one will hold me down. ever. and it feels so fucking good to have figured that out.
you could have never broken my heart.