drunk? yes. ramble? yes.

[heatherjoylove]

so lately, i smoke too many cigarettes.
and i drink too much.

but i have some of the best friends that a girl could ask for.

and sometimes, i feel like i am missing out on love.
but i know that love isn't the issue anymore.
i know that i will eventually find some dude that is worth my time.
and my energy.
and that is why i gave up relationships for the year.

because for as long as i can remember, i have had a boyfriend.
good or bad.
i was always tied to some dude.
someone that loved me. or that i loved.

and i'm so happy to be by myself.
figuring my own shit out for once.
hooking up with dudes when IIII want to.
and staring at dudes.
and having work crushes.

my life is good.
i forgot about that for a while.
i forgot what drinks and girlfriends was all about.

but i will say, that his scent will never leave my life.
i will never love someone with naivity and innocence every again.
and it kinda sucks.

but at the same time.
i grew up.
we all grow up.

goodnight.