(no subject)
it was okay when he dated the girls with the blurry faces in my mind.
the ones that i couldn't put a last name to their first.
but then i heard about the girl, whose face i could pick out in old photographs.
and i tried really hard not to care.
not to pay attention to how hard my fucking inconsiderate heart was pounding in my unloyal chest.
i have never had control over it.
almost like it doesn't belong to me.
but i think i did pretty good this time.
i sat there and let my brain scream at me, while i ignored the words.
the truth.
and i will pretend that i don't know.
that i don't care.
and i won't.
because i still have his phone number written across the back of my mind.
and if i ever needed reassurance, i could ALWAYS get an "i love you too."
fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk me.
the ones that i couldn't put a last name to their first.
but then i heard about the girl, whose face i could pick out in old photographs.
and i tried really hard not to care.
not to pay attention to how hard my fucking inconsiderate heart was pounding in my unloyal chest.
i have never had control over it.
almost like it doesn't belong to me.
but i think i did pretty good this time.
i sat there and let my brain scream at me, while i ignored the words.
the truth.
and i will pretend that i don't know.
that i don't care.
and i won't.
because i still have his phone number written across the back of my mind.
and if i ever needed reassurance, i could ALWAYS get an "i love you too."
fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk me.