lumps?
many random thoughts...
today i test drove cars with rachel. men that work in the car business look at women, especially young women, as clueless and worthless. as if we don't kno anything about cars and that we won't actually purchase a car anyway. i hate men that look down upon women. i told the guy that for some reason i wanted to work in a car dealership and he straight out told me not to waste my life and actually do something with it and he asked if i went to school and asked what i was studying. i told him business, but i'm not sure what i want to do with it and he's like oh you don't have a major you're undecided thats good. wtf. it's ignorant. but half the people in this world are ignorant, so i guess that's what to expect.
i just dropped rae off after we watched the real world. my biggest fear is losing my mom/dad before they can see their grandchildren or completely live their lives to the fullest. it's so scary to think about and my heart bleeds for those who have lost parents and anyone close to them. in my 19 years, i've lost one friend and i was just 7 when that happened and a grandfather that i did not know. no one close to me has died and i'm scared that all at once i'll start losing the people i care about most.
thinking gets you nowhere.
as i dropped rae off i realized how blessed i am to have the groups of friends i do. i can just randomly walk into their doors and it doesn't matter, go into their fridges, pretty much doing anything and it's okay. we're so close and it's amazing. i have found solitude in my friends and i've never been so content with my life. i kno that no matter what i have people in my life that will always be there, always.
this weekend i'm going to maryland and i can't wait. it's like i'm going to spend time with my family. i love it! the following weekend i'm supposed to go camping, but i kno that won't happen , so i want to drive down to NC to see my finukes, but i'm supposed to get surgery sometime next week i believe. so we will see how this all works out. cause god knows i fucking miss heather and i think she needs me.
so today my best friend told me that she laughed so hard when she was with me and my boy and that she's never seen me so comfortable and content with someone else. and that i can be myself around him. and it made me smile and realize that i have a boy that treats me like gold and would honestly die for me. i don't kno how i got so damn lucky, but i did and i couldn't be more thankful.
enough talking from this girl.
ps i can't wait to go back to school and make my apt. pretttyyyyy.
excuse the face, should i do something to the hair?!?!