Heart Breakin'
I've come to the realization that I'm a difficult person to handle as far as relationships go. Lately, with every "prospecting partner", all I've done is get really fucked up with them, and then make a complete ass of myself. And not just the regular kind of ass making. I end up beating the fuck out of them, destroying their house, getting with their roomates. Even when I'm sober I'm dumb about shit. I guess those things aren't that uncommon, but I do it EVERY fucking time. I can't think of one person that I've been completely normal with. At least not within the past 7 or 8 months. It does keep things interesting, but it keeps things completely inconsistant as well. I've scared a lot of people away... fast. I don't necessarily WANT a serious relationship or anything... I don't think. It's just nice to have someone around that cares... and that puts out too :p. I just don't want to end up using someone. Sometimes I catch myself doing that... for rides or for a place to sleep or for booze.
My problem now, is that I've found someone who at this point finds my "wild" side attractive. He likes that I'm psycho at times... haha. Which shouldn't be considered a problem, right? But it is... because... well i don't know. I'm just having a hard time trying to figure out if I like him. And in the process of that, I'm leading him on and it's not fair. And in the end a lot of people are going to hate me. Good people, that I wouldn't want to hate me. Agh... fuck it. I'm tired of the constant relationship shit that goes on in my head. Next time I post will be something of substance. If anyone reads this, I'm going to apologize for the sappy content of all my entries now. haha... and of course this song would come on now.... weird.
My problem now, is that I've found someone who at this point finds my "wild" side attractive. He likes that I'm psycho at times... haha. Which shouldn't be considered a problem, right? But it is... because... well i don't know. I'm just having a hard time trying to figure out if I like him. And in the process of that, I'm leading him on and it's not fair. And in the end a lot of people are going to hate me. Good people, that I wouldn't want to hate me. Agh... fuck it. I'm tired of the constant relationship shit that goes on in my head. Next time I post will be something of substance. If anyone reads this, I'm going to apologize for the sappy content of all my entries now. haha... and of course this song would come on now.... weird.