(no subject)
I'm starting to think that it is time to put Greta down and it is breaking my heart.I don't know what's right.
She's been blind the longest. 5 years. Deaf for probably 3. Has had trouble walking for 2 years. Now she can't stay on her feet for more than 2 minutes or so without falling. She cries, and we set her back on her feet. She walks in circles a lot. It seems to be uncomfortable for her to be held, or maybe she just gets confused, because after a couple of minutes, she will thrash around until I put her down. She used to lay in my arms blissed out for hours. She goes to the the bathroom as much in the house as out. We take her out every hour, but she doesn't seem to know when she has to go. Sometimes she doesn't even realize she IS going. Poop just falls out of her.
After writing that, it seems clear. But she still eats with lusty abandon. Her heart and lungs are strong. She enjoys laying in the sun, a belly rub, and recognizes and responds to me/my scent.
I know you can't tell me what to do. But I would appreciate your thoughts. Everyone says, "You'll just know," but I don't know if that is the case. My thoughts and feelings are very mixed up. Do I want more time with her? Of course. Is it good quality time? Not exactly. Does she have good moments? Sure. Do they outweigh the time she spends whining or struggling? No, they don't. She's as healthy as a blind, deaf, incontinent, mostly lame dog can be. I don't want to kill her because she has become inconvinient. I think that's the reason why I can't see clearly. We'll be moving soon. It's much harder to find an apartment that allows dogs, and I know how difficult it will be for Greta to learn a new place. I'm torturing myself with the thought that I'm thinking of putting Greta down because it will be so hard to move her. Because I'm putting my own needs/convinence ahead of what I owe her.
She's been blind the longest. 5 years. Deaf for probably 3. Has had trouble walking for 2 years. Now she can't stay on her feet for more than 2 minutes or so without falling. She cries, and we set her back on her feet. She walks in circles a lot. It seems to be uncomfortable for her to be held, or maybe she just gets confused, because after a couple of minutes, she will thrash around until I put her down. She used to lay in my arms blissed out for hours. She goes to the the bathroom as much in the house as out. We take her out every hour, but she doesn't seem to know when she has to go. Sometimes she doesn't even realize she IS going. Poop just falls out of her.
After writing that, it seems clear. But she still eats with lusty abandon. Her heart and lungs are strong. She enjoys laying in the sun, a belly rub, and recognizes and responds to me/my scent.
I know you can't tell me what to do. But I would appreciate your thoughts. Everyone says, "You'll just know," but I don't know if that is the case. My thoughts and feelings are very mixed up. Do I want more time with her? Of course. Is it good quality time? Not exactly. Does she have good moments? Sure. Do they outweigh the time she spends whining or struggling? No, they don't. She's as healthy as a blind, deaf, incontinent, mostly lame dog can be. I don't want to kill her because she has become inconvinient. I think that's the reason why I can't see clearly. We'll be moving soon. It's much harder to find an apartment that allows dogs, and I know how difficult it will be for Greta to learn a new place. I'm torturing myself with the thought that I'm thinking of putting Greta down because it will be so hard to move her. Because I'm putting my own needs/convinence ahead of what I owe her.