Nebraska March trip
After the big earthquake, many of my friends (most of who live in Fukushima) started flying home or going south, so I made an impulse decision to go home for a little bit too. I guess I'm easily influenced. Half of it was going home because everyone else was going home, and half of it was just using as an excuse to take a vacation. I missed my last two days of work, but I don't even know if classes were held those days or not. The company seemed to understand my decision to go home, but my co-worker Anna was angry at the "unprofessional" way I informed the company. To be fair, Anna is just a very by the book type person and is very serious about work. But it's sad that our relationship ended on a fight. We're both leaving the company and I hoped she would put friendship above work, but... I don't know if I should mail her or not.
Anyway I took a very short trip home (3 and a half days) but it was nice to see family and friends again, relax a little, do some shopping, eat some good food. I always get culture shock when I go home, and this time I kept getting weirded out by random people talking to me in public. I know that Japanese people are too reserved, but it seems like Americans have no boundaries at all. I was standing in line at Walmart buying some taco sauce to take back to Japan with me, and the girl behind me randomly asks me "oh is that the stuff they use at Taco Bell?" There's no "excuse me", just say what you want when you want. It's nice that it's a more open culture, but I feel like there should be some boundaries at least. Of course American customer service is quite shocking compared to Japanese service. You can do no wrong as a customer in Japan and I like that, but in America if you don't know how to order something correctly they let you know. Please be more helpful ;_; I just felt really awkward because I know how to act in public and what to expect here in Japan, but I didn't know what to do in the US.
I always have mixed feelings about the relationships with people and family I have back home too. I have friends who always contact me when I'm in town, even if it's been 5+ years since I moved away, and I'm really grateful for that. But at the same time in a way I've "outgrown" the group I used to have in Nebraska. I have different needs now, or maybe I'm more willing to try and meet my needs. In other words, I need more social friends who want to go out and have long talks and meet new people. I'll keep my old friends of course, but I need to expand my circle of friends I guess. Family is always complicated too. The night I arrived home we all went out to dinner, and Mom didn't say a single word at dinner. What kind of mother is that. I know what it's coming from because it's the same problem I have, but still I'm missing that presence that everyone needs in their lives. I can look at my family more objectively now, and the communication really is so reserved and feelings are not shared open. I wish I could have grown up around people who could have taught me to communicate better and have less trouble in life than I do now... Also my dad is seriously considering divorcing my mom and I understand his reasons and support the decision, but I feel bad for him. Well on a positive note, I was happily surprised that my sister invited me out with her friends for St. Patrick's Day. I never would have expected that. (btw St. Patrick's Day was messy...I don't know what's up with me lately >_> But I guess it was brushed under the rug as a random drunken episode which is ok)
In a way it would be nice to move back home because well on the most basic level it would be more comfortable - big house, cheaper cost of living, etc. And living with family would be nice in some ways. But the culture shock would be horrible. It would almost be like starting over in a new country. Here in Tokyo it feels like the opportunities are endless and there are so many doors I could open. Omaha feels like a dead end in some ways...
As always, it's hard having no friends and no "go to" person who I can tell all my stories after an adventure at home or something. That's all I really want in life but the closest thing I have is my counselor (who I pay to listen to me! and I have to wait til next week to see her) Also it feels like slow torture always seeing small reminders by a certain group of people that I'm not welcome. And all I wanted was for them to accept me more... Well here's to hoping that my workmates at my new job will be good.
On the other hand, now I have enough wheat bread, tortillas, canned refried beans and iodine pills to last me through the apocalypse!
Anyway I took a very short trip home (3 and a half days) but it was nice to see family and friends again, relax a little, do some shopping, eat some good food. I always get culture shock when I go home, and this time I kept getting weirded out by random people talking to me in public. I know that Japanese people are too reserved, but it seems like Americans have no boundaries at all. I was standing in line at Walmart buying some taco sauce to take back to Japan with me, and the girl behind me randomly asks me "oh is that the stuff they use at Taco Bell?" There's no "excuse me", just say what you want when you want. It's nice that it's a more open culture, but I feel like there should be some boundaries at least. Of course American customer service is quite shocking compared to Japanese service. You can do no wrong as a customer in Japan and I like that, but in America if you don't know how to order something correctly they let you know. Please be more helpful ;_; I just felt really awkward because I know how to act in public and what to expect here in Japan, but I didn't know what to do in the US.
I always have mixed feelings about the relationships with people and family I have back home too. I have friends who always contact me when I'm in town, even if it's been 5+ years since I moved away, and I'm really grateful for that. But at the same time in a way I've "outgrown" the group I used to have in Nebraska. I have different needs now, or maybe I'm more willing to try and meet my needs. In other words, I need more social friends who want to go out and have long talks and meet new people. I'll keep my old friends of course, but I need to expand my circle of friends I guess. Family is always complicated too. The night I arrived home we all went out to dinner, and Mom didn't say a single word at dinner. What kind of mother is that. I know what it's coming from because it's the same problem I have, but still I'm missing that presence that everyone needs in their lives. I can look at my family more objectively now, and the communication really is so reserved and feelings are not shared open. I wish I could have grown up around people who could have taught me to communicate better and have less trouble in life than I do now... Also my dad is seriously considering divorcing my mom and I understand his reasons and support the decision, but I feel bad for him. Well on a positive note, I was happily surprised that my sister invited me out with her friends for St. Patrick's Day. I never would have expected that. (btw St. Patrick's Day was messy...I don't know what's up with me lately >_> But I guess it was brushed under the rug as a random drunken episode which is ok)
In a way it would be nice to move back home because well on the most basic level it would be more comfortable - big house, cheaper cost of living, etc. And living with family would be nice in some ways. But the culture shock would be horrible. It would almost be like starting over in a new country. Here in Tokyo it feels like the opportunities are endless and there are so many doors I could open. Omaha feels like a dead end in some ways...
As always, it's hard having no friends and no "go to" person who I can tell all my stories after an adventure at home or something. That's all I really want in life but the closest thing I have is my counselor (who I pay to listen to me! and I have to wait til next week to see her) Also it feels like slow torture always seeing small reminders by a certain group of people that I'm not welcome. And all I wanted was for them to accept me more... Well here's to hoping that my workmates at my new job will be good.
On the other hand, now I have enough wheat bread, tortillas, canned refried beans and iodine pills to last me through the apocalypse!