(no subject)
Gots lots on my mind right now.... I'm mostly confused, and I don't know why. I feel like people have been so mean to me lately and yet they are always like worrying about whats wrong .... IF you truely cared, you wouldn't treat me like that so don't bother trying to ask and make feel better. your not helping. I usually don't get shit like this get to me but lately I have been feeling really depressed, I guess maybe it is because of the holidays that are coming up, or maybe school,...? I dunno. I feel like I just want to lock myself up in my room or run far far away and never come back. I can hardly eat and forget about sleep I am up most of the night. As far as my emotions, it changes every 5 minutes. Most of it is crying over stupid things.
My family are not helping things get better, they are making it worse.
Today my mom just yelled at me for no apparent reason at all, like to the point where I cried. I was already having a really bad day I didn't need that added on to all of it. It seems like they gang up and blame everything on me, like I'm the one they take out their emotions on. They also make comments about myself that hurt my feelings, I guess they do not realize that they do but it sure does hurt. I guess they say these things to me because they really feel that way about themselves but are too ashamed to admit it.
I have been distancing myself from pretty much everyone in my life. Because I'm tired of thinking that I can trust these people and I just seem to be let down again. The people I really care about and want to talk to the most are not around like always. I am always there for them, and I think they could at least do the same for me. Maybe it's my own fault for always allowing myself to be available but it is so hard to make myself unavailable for other people. I even go out of my way and change plans around so I can be there. Maybe I should stop doing it but saying something is harder then doing it.
In typing this I realized maybe that I was more secure about myself then I thought I was. I know who I am and I don't make any excuses for it, and I accept who I am. I guess other people have to learn to like me for who I am because that's me and I'm not going to change.
Well me and my kitty are going to cuddle up and watch some T.V. until we fall asleep. Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow
My family are not helping things get better, they are making it worse.
Today my mom just yelled at me for no apparent reason at all, like to the point where I cried. I was already having a really bad day I didn't need that added on to all of it. It seems like they gang up and blame everything on me, like I'm the one they take out their emotions on. They also make comments about myself that hurt my feelings, I guess they do not realize that they do but it sure does hurt. I guess they say these things to me because they really feel that way about themselves but are too ashamed to admit it.
I have been distancing myself from pretty much everyone in my life. Because I'm tired of thinking that I can trust these people and I just seem to be let down again. The people I really care about and want to talk to the most are not around like always. I am always there for them, and I think they could at least do the same for me. Maybe it's my own fault for always allowing myself to be available but it is so hard to make myself unavailable for other people. I even go out of my way and change plans around so I can be there. Maybe I should stop doing it but saying something is harder then doing it.
In typing this I realized maybe that I was more secure about myself then I thought I was. I know who I am and I don't make any excuses for it, and I accept who I am. I guess other people have to learn to like me for who I am because that's me and I'm not going to change.
Well me and my kitty are going to cuddle up and watch some T.V. until we fall asleep. Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow