Gambling Is Never A Good Idea(2/3)
Title: Gambling Is Never A Good Idea(part 2/3)
Parings: Ezra/Vin
Warnings: Slash obviously
Spoilers: None really
Summary: Ezra realizes that he's gambled with the only thing that was ever his, his heart. Unwililng to accept the fact that his heart was already lost, his does what he's always done, he moves onto the next con. Now it's up to him to realize whether he's strong enough to take a chance and Vin if he's willing to fight for the errant conman.
Disclaimer: I don't own, but I wish I did own Michael Biehn. *drool*
Hope y'all enjoy!!!!!!!!
~~Before~~
Ezra laid the cards before him, flipping over the last in each line as he settled himself in for a game of solitaire. It was a creative man who could cheat himself at such a game, and Ezra took a certain amount of pride in the fact that he was just that kind of man.
Despite certain unfounded assumptions of his erstwhile companions, Ezra did not need to cheat others at any game of cards as he’d rarely found another player worthy of his abilities.
Unless it was mother and then he’d pull every cheat, trick, and slight of hand he know of. But she was a very special woman, not at all like the people he often found himself playing against under usual circumstances. Against a regular person, Ezra had long ago found that all he needed was to play the fool. Look simple and allow the other players to draw their own conclusions. No tricks or slight of hand required for him to rather easily win a tidy sum of money.
A firm hand settled onto his left shoulder, the fingers stressing slightly as the grip tightened, and he could feel the warmth of the body behind him as his visitor leaned down, inching closer to his relaxed form till he felt the press of another body against his back.
Leather. Vin always smelled of leather and sweat. It was a rather distinctive smell, one that Ezra would perhaps have found repugnant on any other man. Yet on Vin, when the two scents mingled with the hint of earth and of crushed herbs that announced his presence, all Ezra could do was sit back and just breathe deeply.
It was a heady aroma. One that made the gambler feel safe. He felt a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. Trust Vin to take something as unattractive as bodily odor and turn it into something that was nearly intoxicating.
Dear Lord. Look at that odious jacket the tracker wore. On any other man it would have merely been a fashion faux pas. On Vin it just made him look rugged and rather delectable.
Good enough to eat.
“Evenin’, Ezra,’ Vin said softly, his breath stirring the small hairs on the back of the other man’s neck.
Ezra stifled a groan, shifting slightly as he felt Tanner stand and draw away.
Damn the man. And damn his own traitorous body.
Becoming visibly excited was not exactly a state Ezra desired to be in when surrounded not only by his friends, but also a good amount of the town. However it seemed lately that all the good Mister Tanner needed to do was simply touch him and he found himself craving the confounding man. Hell, most of the time, Vin needn’t even touch him; a simple look was enough, the reflection of desire shinning in those blue orbs….
Vin sat across the table from him, a small smile playing at one corner of his mouth, the end tugging upwards, and Ezra cursed softly.
Damned man knew just what effect he had on him.
Two months he’d been…bed partners with Vin. Two months starting from one particularly interesting night when he had suggested to the tracker that they could perhaps assist one another in relieving certain tensions. Two months of more passion and stolen moments than Ezra could ever recall having ever had with another man. Or woman, come to think of it. Oh, how wrong he had been in assuming Vin‘s easy nature extended to all portions of his personality. Not that he was willing to show just how much he had miscalculated the effect that Vin’s presence would have on him.
Shifting again, he slipped a hand beneath the table and tugged at the suddenly tighter confines of his trousers.
“Good evening, Mister Tanner,’ Ezra drawled, flicking his gaze to meet Vin’s for a moment briefly before it flickered over to the saloon doors where Chris and Buck were entering. Smiling, he nodded to the other two and when he looked back at his table companion, he found that Vin had moved into the chair beside him, ostentatiously making room for their friends.
Ezra had a feeling that reason behind the move was no where near so innocent. For such a quiet and seemingly introverted man, Tanner had a remarkably impish streak in his manner that usually had Ezra either prepared to kill the man or kiss him.
Well, this was suddenly promising to become an interesting game of solitaire.
Chris and Buck came to sit with them, Buck talking animatedly about the day’s earlier events involving one of the cattle ranchers. Ezra ignored the talk. Little incursions such as they’d experienced earlier were hardly rare, and as Ezra had been there, while Chris and Vin had not, he hardly needed to listen to Buck retelling their earlier exploits. And it was also an event he’d sooner forget, a flying piece of masonry had come just a little too close to comfort to being embedded in his right eye as a result of their adversaries very poor marksmanship. Not that he was complaining the men weren’t able to shoot with any degree of success. He wasn’t. Indeed, he’d much rather go up against a rowdy cowhand than a trained marksman any day.
Besides, he was most assuredly more interested in what was happening beneath the table.
Vin’s hand had fallen onto Ezra’s lap, the movement hidden by the table cloth that covered the stained wood. It had been Inez’s idea to put them on the tables, she‘d said it would give the place a more relaxed feel, and at the moment it was the perfect thing to give Vin the opportunity to play innocent. Based on what his hand was currently engaged in, Ezra could attest to the fact that the other man was in no way innocent.
The tracker had leaned back in his chair slightly, his arms fallen to his sides. To the casual observer, it appeared that Mister Tanner was simply sitting in a comfortable pose.
To the casual observer.
Ezra slouched slightly in his chair. Dropping into what he supposed looked like a more relaxed pose, when in all actuality he was allowing Tanner easier access to continue his hidden caresses.
This was insanity. Sitting here, surrounded by a bunch of men whose attentions were barely engaged in various games or discussions, a simple step away from a possible discovery that could lead to at best a painful stoning and at worst…Ezra didn’t like to think of the at worst part, he’d witnessed it once, back in the first year he’d been on his own. He still dreamed of those broken bodies- of the things he’d seen those supposedly civilized people do to their own.
Unsettlingly, Ezra found himself incapable of caring. All he wanted was for Vin to keep going, for the fingers to apply just a little more pressure--
“Hey, Ez, you okay there, partner?” Ezra snapped himself out of the stupor he’d found himself trapped within, his startled gaze meeting the worried stares of both Chris and Buck-and Vin’s barely concealed amusement.
Bastard.
“Yes, thank you, Mister Wilmington,” Ezra straightened in his chair, feeling a flush tinge his cheeks, and a sick feeling twisting in his stomach. Dear God. He’d practically allowed Vin to manhandle him in front of a room full of people and, in truth, he’d have allowed him anything.
Ezra started shaking as he realized just how deep in this he was. He’d gotten sloppy. Somehow, somewhere he’d allowed a certain lower extremity to take over the thinking responsibilities for his entire person; something like that never yielded any kind of profits outside of eternal slumber.
Feeling his stomach twist even more he hurriedly stood, ignoring the now questioning look he could feel being directed at him from three separate sets of eyes.
“I am sorry gentlemen, but I find myself suddenly feeling a little worse for the wear. I shall see you all tomorrow.“ Tipping his hat he spun and walked away, only dimly hearing the good nights and well wishes his friends called out. Though he was all too aware of one set of blue eyes. Even as the distance between them lengthened, Ezra could feel the worry that had replaced the laughing teasing only moments earlier, and Ezra’s hands balled into fists as he resisted the urge to turn around and reassure them that all well.
His tryst with Mister Tanner was nothing more than a mutually beneficial situation. One which they had both promised was nothing more than the pleasurable sharing of the occasional hour or two. Only, the gambler was beginning to realize he’d made a grievous error. He’d come to crave the hidden touches and stolen moments more than he even craved the thrill of a con well played.
He’d finally earned his mistaken tag of a gambler. Only instead of cards he’d gambled with his heart and he was not prepared to lose it.
Not yet. Not ever.
He wouldn’t become one of those men who were strung up because their chosen nocturnal activities were considered taboo.
He hurried to his room, turning the lock as soon as the door had clicked shut and gathered his belongings.
He wasn’t a coward by any means. He was not running. He was simply choosing to curtail this rather uncharacteristically gallant behavior he had found himself engaged in. The idea that he was also leaving behind a man who he was rapidly categorizing as his lover rather than just another bed partner was ruthlessly squashed.
That Tanner always seemed so at ease…as though he didn’t truly care one way or another was not even a flicker of concern in his mind either. It was fortuitous that the tracker remained distant, that Vin remained true to the agreement they had originally made. And he was not upset by any means at this continued impartial behavior--
Damn.
Ezra refused to act like some foolish love struck adolescent. It had been a mutually beneficial agreement. It was his own fault that he‘d allowed himself to feel more.
In the end, he made his decision as he sat at his desk, pen poised. But the words would not flow. He found that when he’d tried to find the words to tell his friends about his imminent departure he was unable to articulate any feasible reasons for his hurried departure.
Half an hour later the sun had long since set and the town had settled down. Since Vin was slated to take the first shift at the jail to guard the jail‘s latest inmates. Ezra knew he would have enough time to make a clean escape.
Not that he was escaping. Admitting to escaping would be to admit that he was running. And Ezra Standish did not run; he gracefully bowed out before his welcome became worn out.
Oh, how his mother would be laughing. She’d always warned her baby boy that one day he would meet someone that would make him a fool. He should have known better than to ignore her. After all, she’d spoken from experience; the same thing had happened to her many years ago in the form of his dearly departed and much missed father.
~-~
Chris laughed at Buck’s antics, the corners of his eyes crinkling as the chortle worked its way out. It was good to hear Chris laugh like that. Catching Buck’s eyes, Vin nodded minutely. It had only been a bare three weeks since Chris’s wrongful incarceration, five since the happenings at Eagle Bend and their friend had been slow to smile since then. It was good to hear him laughing again.
Hell, his worry over Chris’ sudden increased surliness and his with-drawl from the entire group over the last few weeks had been the only reasons he’d held back from following after Ezra when he’d just about damn near fled the room. Vin had spoken to Buck for a good while the previous day about just how far Chris could with-drawl from everyone, how deep into a depression he could slip into, and they’d both agreed to keep a closer eye on him. Seemed like their reluctant leader was good though if that grin on his face was anything to go by.
The team couldn’t afford for anything more to happen to them, they were stretched enough as it was.
Everything was going to hell in a hand basket lately. And Vin didn’t know what to think about the fact that his worry over how Ezra had began growing distant lately topped even the list of all that was going wrong around town.
Vin was still astounded at just how quickly this thing between him and Ez had grown, it had started so little. Just a little companionship. Like sharing a blanket, sharing warmth on a cold night. Simple pleasure.
How quickly things became complicated.
How quickly he went from just wanting Ezra to needing him. He’d worked unsuccessfully on reigning in his attentions. A casual touch here, a lingering glance, standing just a little closer than usual for just a little longer than average.
Tonight was the closest he’d ever come to anything overt, anything that could have exposed this thing that was brewing between them.
Vin wasn’t too certain just how he felt about that either, he wasn’t used to losing control. Losing the ability to pull back and stop himself. It had just seemed like when he’d heard J.D. talking about the fight Ezra and Buck had found themselves in earlier, the fight where Ezra had been nearly injured, where a stray bullet had lodged itself into the masonry beside his head. Flying bullets was nothing’ new to any of them. Hell, it was part of the job description, only this time had been different. This time, Vin hadn’t been there making sure Ezra didn’t get hurt. Vin couldn’t remember exactly, but he was pretty certain he’d left J.D. telling the story. Vin couldn’t quite recall though, the only thing he could recollect exactly was the need to find the gambler. Good thing Nathan had agreed to take his shift over at the jail earlier this morning. Vin was pretty certain he wouldn’t have been able to stay confined inside those brick walls and not be tempted to do something a bit more drastic than was prudent.
Not that he seemed to be acting with his head firmly on his shoulders at the moment given how he’d just started attacking Ez under the table.
He hadn’t meant to start groping him. At least not till they had both retired for the night. It was just that walking into the bar, seeing Ezra sitting there, a slight grin pulling at the corner of his lips, just playing a simple game of solitaire….
The need to touch him had been so palpable it had almost been another being entirely. It’d carried him through the door, slinking around the bar so he could sneak up on the gambler, draw close enough to reassure himself that Ezra was perfectly okay, and all he’d planned on doing was just to sit down and be close to Ezra.
Wasn’t his fault that Ez had looked so calm and peaceful just sitting there. So alive, so contained, and just for a moment, he’d wanted to see Ezra lose a bit his composure. He wanted to see that spirit that Ezra hid away so desperately from the world in fear of betrayal. All he’d had to do was reach out a hand and just touch him.
Before he’d been able to do anything really, Buck and Chris had come in. The lanky cowboy had been retelling their earlier exploits, bringing Vin’s gut back into a roil as he thought about how easy it would have been for just one stray bullet to have taken away Ez. He’d been smiling and making all the appropriate noises just to keep attention away from the hand that was shaking while his other wandered up and down Ezra’s thigh in silent reassurance that the southern was still sitting beside him, still completely well.
And then Ezra had stood and walked out, a shaken look on his face ‘bout damn near matching the way Vin was feeling inside. Vin was still kicking himself about not going after him. From the look that had been in those green eyes, something was off. But Chris was his friend. Almost like a brother, and this was the first night in a long few weeks that he’d been more like himself.
“Josiah!” Buck’s voice cut through Vin’s thoughts. “Come on and have a seat.”
The preacher smiled, shaking his head. “Thank you, but no, I was merely hoping to catch Ezra and return this to him.” In his hand was clasped a small and well worn book. Vin recognized it only because Ezra had read him small excerpts one night, the Illiad.
“Just missed him, think he went up to his room,” Chris said, tossing his head towards the direction the gambler had retreated. Something about Chris’s tone snagged Vin’s attention and he glanced back at his friend, his heart taking a dive as he saw the pack of cards Chris was staring at thoughtfully. Hazel eyes rose to meet his and Vin looked away, clearing his throat. Sometimes, this bond with Chris could be right pain. ‘Specially when he seemed to be able to read him this easy.
Damn.
Vin had seen the same worry in Chris’ eyes. Those were Ezra’s cards. There was an ace in there with a bullet hole from the village that first week they’d banded together and Vin had never seen Ezra leave that particular deck out of his sight.
Vin started to rise, hand reaching for the deck when Josiah beat him to it. “Why, I do believe this is Ezra’s deck.” Vin forced himself to relax back into the chair. Ezra didn’t want nobody to find out about them, and Vin had a feeling that if he wrestled Josiah for the cards and went charging off the others would get a mite suspicious about what was going on. Not that Chris didn’t seem to have an inkling already. “I’ll just take these with me then,” Josiah nodded again and departed; a serene smile on his face as he ambled up the stairs.
Vin turned half a ear towards Chris and Buck, not really paying attention to what they were saying, his gaze fixed upon a stain on the otherwise pristine tablecloth and carefully avoided Chris’s probing gaze.
There were going to be questions now. Vin just knew it.
Couldn’t quite say he cared though at the moment, his mind was more troubled by all the little signs he was starting to see when Josiah returned a few moments later with his hands still encumbered by the deck of cards and book, as well as one more item. Laying rumpled against the leather cover was also a plain piece of paper with what looked like the religious man’s name written boldly across the front in Ezra’s florid hand-writing.
~-~
Link to Chapter One: http://heathenseyes.livejournal.com/3052.html#cutid1