Progress report : I'm missing you to death
It's 2:30 am, and I have class in less than six hours, but I can't sleep.
I miss my old life.
And I want it back.
I want to be dressed in that black cap and gown walking across that football field on that beautiful and perfect and balmy night in early June that was the end of something beautiful and the beginning of the best three months of my entire life.
If I could pick one moment to go back to, I think that would probably be it. That or October 11. Or October 21. Or August 16, watching the sun set over the Pacific Ocean. Or April 21, in my car in a shady cemetery watching for shooting stars. Or January 14, in my car at that frozen over beach. Or any day in between, for that matter, because they were all perfect.
And I took a trip down memory lane tonight and read some old livejournal entries from the past year.
And that made me miss it even more.
And all I want to do right now is go home. I want to go back to Northeast PA and have everything be like that again. I want my old life back, if only for a few days.
And I'm really struggling putting into words exactly how I'm feeling right now. I don't know why, but I can't explain it.
I think it's a feeling you have to experience for yourself to understand. It's not something that can be explained. It has to be felt.
But it's also a feeling that no one should have to experience or feel because it hurts.
So I guess I'll take this feeling of mine that can't be explained and go crawl under the covers and curl up with my fleece blanket that has been more places and seen more sights than most of you, and try to sleep. It's time to dream, and dreaming means that when I wake, it's one day closer to home and comfort and normality and love and security and warmth.
I can't wait.
I miss my old life.
And I want it back.
I want to be dressed in that black cap and gown walking across that football field on that beautiful and perfect and balmy night in early June that was the end of something beautiful and the beginning of the best three months of my entire life.
If I could pick one moment to go back to, I think that would probably be it. That or October 11. Or October 21. Or August 16, watching the sun set over the Pacific Ocean. Or April 21, in my car in a shady cemetery watching for shooting stars. Or January 14, in my car at that frozen over beach. Or any day in between, for that matter, because they were all perfect.
And I took a trip down memory lane tonight and read some old livejournal entries from the past year.
And that made me miss it even more.
And all I want to do right now is go home. I want to go back to Northeast PA and have everything be like that again. I want my old life back, if only for a few days.
And I'm really struggling putting into words exactly how I'm feeling right now. I don't know why, but I can't explain it.
I think it's a feeling you have to experience for yourself to understand. It's not something that can be explained. It has to be felt.
But it's also a feeling that no one should have to experience or feel because it hurts.
So I guess I'll take this feeling of mine that can't be explained and go crawl under the covers and curl up with my fleece blanket that has been more places and seen more sights than most of you, and try to sleep. It's time to dream, and dreaming means that when I wake, it's one day closer to home and comfort and normality and love and security and warmth.
I can't wait.