Happy ME day, ME ME ME!
As meredith mentioned, it's my birthday, so I guess the secret is out. I don't really like to make a big deal out if it. I'm also not so good at accepting gifts, so I don't really like to advertise when it's coming up. My aunt, who knows me too well explained that she's sending me a cashier's check (and other stuff) since I didn't give her a sufficient
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One goes to a strange medical facility with fluorescent lighting and winds up in a room that is incongruent with the rest of the place. The room includes decor done in a floral pattern. One spends an hour and a half under fluorescent lights while a medical practitioner proceeds to shave 27 small spots on one's head. Then an abrasive compound is used on the shaved spots apparently to cause great pain as well as improve the adhesive that is used to attach the probes to one's head. After all 27 probes are attached, including ones on the head, face, chest, finger, and legs one is then wired up to the logging computer and then asked to lie down in a bed. The bed has a non-comforter that features the same floral pattern as the rest of the room. It is the scratchiest motherfucking thing on this planet, except for the sheets, which feel like they must have been treated with something to improve their abrasive properties. One is then asked to lay down on sandpaper-like pillows all while wearing pajamas, even though one has never worn pajamas in one's life. As the lights are dimmed and the IR lights come up, the medical practitioner addresses you over the intercom giving you final instructions. In the process, it becomes glaringly obvious that he is watching you very closely and will continue to do so for the rest of the evening. As one takes all this in and starts to get comfortable lying in a sandpaper bed with 27 wires attached all while wearing goddamned-hot, just-purchased pajamas, one is then asked to, "go to sleep, now."
Right...
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