an amazing weekend
This story of my weekend is brought to you courtesy of my friend bill:
"Ariel, Brian, Jeremiah and I (Team B) depart on our journey. Team A (Anthony, Mark the Python, Mark the Shark, Evan, Shannon, and Aaron) are a day and a night of debauchery ahead of us. The ride to atlanta is smooth with little traffic. Promises of "wild adventures" await, but there are no explosives or rides in sight.....the plot thickens. After some time, strange radioactive babies appear on the side of the road and we decide it's time to stop for some lunch.
Jasper, GA: We stop at the local shitsville all-in-one plaza. We sit for a steamy "brazier burger" lunch amidst a sea of aquamarine 70's style fastfood booths. Jeremiah finds a wierd red lump in his shake which Brian declares is a clitoris, and lunch is OVER. I do my best not to buy a baby blue cowboy hat on the way back to the car, but I am powerless against the fireworks section. 200 bottlerockets and 6 roman candles later, we are on our way again.
Macon GA: Refuel. Making good time. I decide that GA is definately the birthplace of hip-hop. Ariel can't find a lint brush, but Jeremiah scores with the ill slushee. Phone reception is shit, so there is NO Macon calls, but there is Bacon in Macon.....no fakin'. Moving forwards......8,000 miles to go and the fm modulator is working fine so the beats are clear. Galang-galanga. High voltage wires overhead.
ATL: Check into the Highland. The hotel is ultra coach, from it's decor to it's location. We grab a bite a few doors down. The smokers can smoke inside and Ariel gets the vinigrette. Jeremiah likes beer in his stew, and I eat Brian's white sauce. We jot it down in the gay book and make our way to the Team A rendevous. Ariel's "your mom" jokes are nearing perfection.
The Hampton Inn: Team A meets us at the top of the elevator, which to Hurst's dismay has flyers on the door. "Smile" pronounced smee-lay is french for yo-yo. We are all the wiser. It is obvious that team A has been chilling hard. Time to go to the show!!!
THE TABERNACLE: Doors @ 8pm, we arrive at 8:15. The venue is amazing. The python and I score the ill third floor center stage seats, and then recruit Evan and Sneaky for two others. The Mars Volta takes the stage. IS THERE ANYBODY THERE??????? The crowd explodes into a 2hour 15 minute psychadelic rock oddessey, and the sweet cheeba immidiately fills the air. Fucking amazing. On the way to the bathroom at the end of the show, I wander into a strange dim room where there lies five gorgeous women, and after the show I've just been through, I ponder dropping my clothes and making sweet opium dream love to all of them. I manage to ask where the bathroom is and move on. Outside the venue moments later, I mention it to the group and Evan shares the experience.
The local: After the show it's time to paint the town, and the bad bear crew never slacks on the job. Team A takes a cab to the Local, jeremiah and Ariel hook up with friends, and Sneaky and I walk aimlessly around town to find everyone. We stop at a corner and he declares, "I'm feeling Evan down that way". A left on Ponce it is, and five blocks later we are all slamming drinks at the Local. Jeremiah gets a gleam in his eye and we are escorted to the Clermont. 3 bucks, three steps in, and you are in a "fear and loathing" fantasy. Evan immidiately makes friends, and the shark is right behind him. Anthony is slamming $4.50 cans. Shannon and Ariel won't tip the "entertainment" no matter how hard Aaron tries. Nipples are lit on fire, and we leave for last call at the local. On the way I witness Jeremiah come toe to tire with a taxi that screeches past him, stopping 25 feet later. After this near death experience, I am drunkenly screaming at the top of my lungs that it is the most awesome thing I have ever seen. The night becomes a blur after this. We are all at the local drunk as fuck, we have lost Jeremiah's ATL buddies at the Clermont, and Evan get's a call from a drunken scott hemmerly to come over to his house. 3 am, we decide to go to a diner before scott's. We leave sneaky, Ariel, and Jeremiah at the Local in the drunken disarray. On the way we dance like Omar from Mars Volta. Evan picks up 3 nineteen year olds at the door of the Majestic, and they sit and eat with us. Sneaky and Ariel meet up with us, and random people get calls from Jeremiah to fuck off and die. He apts out of the diner and goes back to the hotel to crash. At this point it has become apparent to everyone that you can smoke indoors anywhere in atlanta, and they are not fond of using credit cards. We eat and part ways as I decide it is better to go get sleep for the drive home than party untill 5 am with team A at Scott's. Team B gets lost walking back, we finally find the hotel, we throw clothes hangers on Jeremiah's lifeless body, take some funny pictures, and pass out.
the next day: We awake, shit, shave, shower, and go downstairs for a continental breakfast which amounts to a continental banana, an OJ, and a wall of fame with bands that nobody has heard of. Awesome.....we need food. We trek onward to EAT's for Jeremiah's dream breakfast which basicly consists of dinner. Ariel kills the whole meal, I am amazed, we hit the road. Team A is 20 minutes ahead of us, and we are on a mission to catch up for some highway mooning and possible fireworks. We estimate rendevous is 2 hours if we travel at 80. We stop in Butts county to pee. Jeremiah waits behind two huge old men to take dumps, then decides to use the girls bathroom. There is Broasted chicken, and we decide that "peeing in Butts, thinking of you" is totally hilarious. text messaging team A ensues.....and the race is on. We meet up at another all-in-one redneck stop. We get ice cream, and the rainy pavement makes for a great freestyle walking course. Jeremiah rocks the switchstance 10 foot slide, and we hit the road. Rainy georgia is conquered, we reminisce while going through Jasper, Brian bares all for team A, and we avoid the po-po all the way home.
This trip was AWESOME. I got to bond a bit with Sneaky and Jeremiah, and got to know Ariel as well. Barbqbar gets the party treatment at the end of the day as we convene as one team with smiles on our faces and drinks in our hands."
"Ariel, Brian, Jeremiah and I (Team B) depart on our journey. Team A (Anthony, Mark the Python, Mark the Shark, Evan, Shannon, and Aaron) are a day and a night of debauchery ahead of us. The ride to atlanta is smooth with little traffic. Promises of "wild adventures" await, but there are no explosives or rides in sight.....the plot thickens. After some time, strange radioactive babies appear on the side of the road and we decide it's time to stop for some lunch.
Jasper, GA: We stop at the local shitsville all-in-one plaza. We sit for a steamy "brazier burger" lunch amidst a sea of aquamarine 70's style fastfood booths. Jeremiah finds a wierd red lump in his shake which Brian declares is a clitoris, and lunch is OVER. I do my best not to buy a baby blue cowboy hat on the way back to the car, but I am powerless against the fireworks section. 200 bottlerockets and 6 roman candles later, we are on our way again.
Macon GA: Refuel. Making good time. I decide that GA is definately the birthplace of hip-hop. Ariel can't find a lint brush, but Jeremiah scores with the ill slushee. Phone reception is shit, so there is NO Macon calls, but there is Bacon in Macon.....no fakin'. Moving forwards......8,000 miles to go and the fm modulator is working fine so the beats are clear. Galang-galanga. High voltage wires overhead.
ATL: Check into the Highland. The hotel is ultra coach, from it's decor to it's location. We grab a bite a few doors down. The smokers can smoke inside and Ariel gets the vinigrette. Jeremiah likes beer in his stew, and I eat Brian's white sauce. We jot it down in the gay book and make our way to the Team A rendevous. Ariel's "your mom" jokes are nearing perfection.
The Hampton Inn: Team A meets us at the top of the elevator, which to Hurst's dismay has flyers on the door. "Smile" pronounced smee-lay is french for yo-yo. We are all the wiser. It is obvious that team A has been chilling hard. Time to go to the show!!!
THE TABERNACLE: Doors @ 8pm, we arrive at 8:15. The venue is amazing. The python and I score the ill third floor center stage seats, and then recruit Evan and Sneaky for two others. The Mars Volta takes the stage. IS THERE ANYBODY THERE??????? The crowd explodes into a 2hour 15 minute psychadelic rock oddessey, and the sweet cheeba immidiately fills the air. Fucking amazing. On the way to the bathroom at the end of the show, I wander into a strange dim room where there lies five gorgeous women, and after the show I've just been through, I ponder dropping my clothes and making sweet opium dream love to all of them. I manage to ask where the bathroom is and move on. Outside the venue moments later, I mention it to the group and Evan shares the experience.
The local: After the show it's time to paint the town, and the bad bear crew never slacks on the job. Team A takes a cab to the Local, jeremiah and Ariel hook up with friends, and Sneaky and I walk aimlessly around town to find everyone. We stop at a corner and he declares, "I'm feeling Evan down that way". A left on Ponce it is, and five blocks later we are all slamming drinks at the Local. Jeremiah gets a gleam in his eye and we are escorted to the Clermont. 3 bucks, three steps in, and you are in a "fear and loathing" fantasy. Evan immidiately makes friends, and the shark is right behind him. Anthony is slamming $4.50 cans. Shannon and Ariel won't tip the "entertainment" no matter how hard Aaron tries. Nipples are lit on fire, and we leave for last call at the local. On the way I witness Jeremiah come toe to tire with a taxi that screeches past him, stopping 25 feet later. After this near death experience, I am drunkenly screaming at the top of my lungs that it is the most awesome thing I have ever seen. The night becomes a blur after this. We are all at the local drunk as fuck, we have lost Jeremiah's ATL buddies at the Clermont, and Evan get's a call from a drunken scott hemmerly to come over to his house. 3 am, we decide to go to a diner before scott's. We leave sneaky, Ariel, and Jeremiah at the Local in the drunken disarray. On the way we dance like Omar from Mars Volta. Evan picks up 3 nineteen year olds at the door of the Majestic, and they sit and eat with us. Sneaky and Ariel meet up with us, and random people get calls from Jeremiah to fuck off and die. He apts out of the diner and goes back to the hotel to crash. At this point it has become apparent to everyone that you can smoke indoors anywhere in atlanta, and they are not fond of using credit cards. We eat and part ways as I decide it is better to go get sleep for the drive home than party untill 5 am with team A at Scott's. Team B gets lost walking back, we finally find the hotel, we throw clothes hangers on Jeremiah's lifeless body, take some funny pictures, and pass out.
the next day: We awake, shit, shave, shower, and go downstairs for a continental breakfast which amounts to a continental banana, an OJ, and a wall of fame with bands that nobody has heard of. Awesome.....we need food. We trek onward to EAT's for Jeremiah's dream breakfast which basicly consists of dinner. Ariel kills the whole meal, I am amazed, we hit the road. Team A is 20 minutes ahead of us, and we are on a mission to catch up for some highway mooning and possible fireworks. We estimate rendevous is 2 hours if we travel at 80. We stop in Butts county to pee. Jeremiah waits behind two huge old men to take dumps, then decides to use the girls bathroom. There is Broasted chicken, and we decide that "peeing in Butts, thinking of you" is totally hilarious. text messaging team A ensues.....and the race is on. We meet up at another all-in-one redneck stop. We get ice cream, and the rainy pavement makes for a great freestyle walking course. Jeremiah rocks the switchstance 10 foot slide, and we hit the road. Rainy georgia is conquered, we reminisce while going through Jasper, Brian bares all for team A, and we avoid the po-po all the way home.
This trip was AWESOME. I got to bond a bit with Sneaky and Jeremiah, and got to know Ariel as well. Barbqbar gets the party treatment at the end of the day as we convene as one team with smiles on our faces and drinks in our hands."