Happy St. Patrick's Day
My desk phone rings.
"Good afternoon, Physicians Plus Insurance, this is Sara."
"HIII! It's your MUTHHHHHRRRR. *fit of giggles* I am SO fucked up. I'm at the bar, with all the guys from work. ALL the guys. We've been here since -- guess when. Guess when!"
"Noon?"
"YESSSH! I am SO fucked up and now I gotta sober up in twenty mintues to go home to Rrrrrrobert."
"It's gonna take you longer than that."
"Nuuoooooooohhhh. He can NEVER know I wassss here. Oh shit. I gotta drive. And I fell in love with the man I should've met. His name's Ssssteeeeve. He's my kind of guy, you know, a wiiiiild and crazy guy and I'm with a man who dusssn't drink beeeeeeehhhr. He drinks... 'spensive shit. And shit. Ugh. I'm so fucked up. Are you laughing? Tell me you're laughing, you... ohhhh shiiiiit."
... I got it from my mama?