Ranting....I haven't done this in awhile??
I just need to rant, nobody needs to read this or comment unless they really feel like it.
1. I'm so pissed at my leasing manager at my apartment complex. He must really be stupid if he thinks having a girl move in that has a cat, when a cat already lives here, is a good idea. Louie wasn't exactly my first choice in cats, I would have loved to have Spazz again, but he is still my baby and I will not get rid of him so that some girl that I don't know can move in here with hers. There are plenty of other apartments for her to live in, why don't they move her there. Heather and I are just fine with the two of us we don't need anybody else and we don't want anybody else.
2. I care about my new guy a lot but it isn't fair for him to say those three special words this early in our relationship. I don't take those words likely anymore ever since I have been hurt by them. We haven't even been dating a month and he tells me he loves me. How should I take that?? Is it fair that he was angry that I didn't say anything back. I haven't said those words since the last true guy I had, that I love with all my heart, but I didn't want to watch him hurt himself. Is that selfish?? Running away from the argument that still haunts me to this day. How can I pass my feelings onto another person when I'm not sure if those feelings are ready to be passed on.
3. I've gone to 2 funerals this past year and both times I was suppose to be the strong one. The youngest and, of course, only girl had to be there to support 5 26 year olds. I guess my job was to make sure they didn't cause any trouble, at least that's what some of them said, but some will admit that having me there to give them a hug or smile at them made everything not seem as bad. It was so hard for me to not cry or show any sign of sadness. Especailly this last funeral, it scared me. I kept thinking about how it could have been me if I didn't have the amazing friends that I have. If Mike, Miranda, Joe, Haus, and even Grant, weren't there to make sure I was safe. Having to look into her eyes as she died made it even harder, and knowing that she was thinking the same thing.
4. I've never really ever thought about my wedding or about my future. I know that I'm want to be a teacher, but where?? The one thing that has hit me the most is marriage. Am I ever going to get married?? I have two friends, two great friends that are getting married this summer. I have never really thought about what I want my wedding to look like. I've only thought about marriage once and now I have lost that chance. It almost feels like I will never feel love or get the chance to be married again.
I think that is the end of my rant...maybe. I might end up writing more. I'm finally starting to get out of my writters block. I've mostly been just writing poems, but I hope to eventually get the courage to write that novel I've always wanted to write. I guess that will come with time.
Till next time...life doesn't it, it passes on.
1. I'm so pissed at my leasing manager at my apartment complex. He must really be stupid if he thinks having a girl move in that has a cat, when a cat already lives here, is a good idea. Louie wasn't exactly my first choice in cats, I would have loved to have Spazz again, but he is still my baby and I will not get rid of him so that some girl that I don't know can move in here with hers. There are plenty of other apartments for her to live in, why don't they move her there. Heather and I are just fine with the two of us we don't need anybody else and we don't want anybody else.
2. I care about my new guy a lot but it isn't fair for him to say those three special words this early in our relationship. I don't take those words likely anymore ever since I have been hurt by them. We haven't even been dating a month and he tells me he loves me. How should I take that?? Is it fair that he was angry that I didn't say anything back. I haven't said those words since the last true guy I had, that I love with all my heart, but I didn't want to watch him hurt himself. Is that selfish?? Running away from the argument that still haunts me to this day. How can I pass my feelings onto another person when I'm not sure if those feelings are ready to be passed on.
3. I've gone to 2 funerals this past year and both times I was suppose to be the strong one. The youngest and, of course, only girl had to be there to support 5 26 year olds. I guess my job was to make sure they didn't cause any trouble, at least that's what some of them said, but some will admit that having me there to give them a hug or smile at them made everything not seem as bad. It was so hard for me to not cry or show any sign of sadness. Especailly this last funeral, it scared me. I kept thinking about how it could have been me if I didn't have the amazing friends that I have. If Mike, Miranda, Joe, Haus, and even Grant, weren't there to make sure I was safe. Having to look into her eyes as she died made it even harder, and knowing that she was thinking the same thing.
4. I've never really ever thought about my wedding or about my future. I know that I'm want to be a teacher, but where?? The one thing that has hit me the most is marriage. Am I ever going to get married?? I have two friends, two great friends that are getting married this summer. I have never really thought about what I want my wedding to look like. I've only thought about marriage once and now I have lost that chance. It almost feels like I will never feel love or get the chance to be married again.
I think that is the end of my rant...maybe. I might end up writing more. I'm finally starting to get out of my writters block. I've mostly been just writing poems, but I hope to eventually get the courage to write that novel I've always wanted to write. I guess that will come with time.
Till next time...life doesn't it, it passes on.