(no subject)
Will people think that I am hard to approach, hard to satisfy, high strung, insecure, unhappy, or think I'm absent because they just don't know? Maybe he isn't okay, maybe she isn't okay, maybe I'm not okay and maybe you're not. And maybe we shouldn't excuse those who are not okay from this pain in feeling things that feel like a sickness in their own. I have to stop apologizing for the feelings that I have. Having these feelings, the hurting inside, the crying, the wailing and the shaking are all valid. And the stupidity and the embarrassment that come after- is not needed. It is what it is. I feel it bubbling, but I know I won't let it surface. This is as far as it will come to shore.