(no subject)
Not sure what to write about but I feel like I should start journaling more...
I have been dealing with some cognitive problems as of late and it has me worried SICK! I have been reading for pleasure and I find my mind wandering during certain passages. Unable to recall what I just read creates a panic in my mind and I have a tendency to escalate this minor problem in my mind. It goes from: "Eh, I wasn't paying attention, I'll just have to read it again," to "OMG! I'm a dumbass," to "NO WONDER I CAN'T FIND ANY SMART FRIENDS! I'm HOPELESS!" to "I must have brain damage. I'm such a retard." Whoa. So much drama.
I just feel so disconnected from the world right now. Perhaps this is due to having extremely intelligent friends that I can't relate to. Their intelligence lives in a different world from mine. They speak of law and politics and I want to talk about beauty and philosophy and art. Hum. I don't know what would happen if I ever met someone like that though. I have a tendency to clam up because I feel like this complete dolt when I have to verbalize my thoughts. It's hard to organize everything I know into a linear sentence. I do feel quite hopeless sometimes.... I also just like to absorb when someone interesting is talking...I like to try to learn from others. Sigh. I don't know what to do. Perhaps I'm worrying too much?
In other news, I'm listening to a lot more music than usual and this is making me so much happier in general. Even if it's just Sisters of Mercy, I still get such a thrill from my favorite songs and lyrics.
I have been dealing with some cognitive problems as of late and it has me worried SICK! I have been reading for pleasure and I find my mind wandering during certain passages. Unable to recall what I just read creates a panic in my mind and I have a tendency to escalate this minor problem in my mind. It goes from: "Eh, I wasn't paying attention, I'll just have to read it again," to "OMG! I'm a dumbass," to "NO WONDER I CAN'T FIND ANY SMART FRIENDS! I'm HOPELESS!" to "I must have brain damage. I'm such a retard." Whoa. So much drama.
I just feel so disconnected from the world right now. Perhaps this is due to having extremely intelligent friends that I can't relate to. Their intelligence lives in a different world from mine. They speak of law and politics and I want to talk about beauty and philosophy and art. Hum. I don't know what would happen if I ever met someone like that though. I have a tendency to clam up because I feel like this complete dolt when I have to verbalize my thoughts. It's hard to organize everything I know into a linear sentence. I do feel quite hopeless sometimes.... I also just like to absorb when someone interesting is talking...I like to try to learn from others. Sigh. I don't know what to do. Perhaps I'm worrying too much?
In other news, I'm listening to a lot more music than usual and this is making me so much happier in general. Even if it's just Sisters of Mercy, I still get such a thrill from my favorite songs and lyrics.