- Doubt < TomoxRui > Ch5 -
Title: Doubt
Chapter: 5/?
Author: heartsthatflies
Genre: Fluff, romance, angst, drama
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Malexmale relationship, language
Pairings: TomoxRui
Disclaimer: Vistlip belongs to themselves, the pictures I don’t own either.
Summary: Something was off with their bassist. Tomo couldn’t exactly put his finger on it, but the last few days he had been unusually quiet and reserved, which was slowly started to worry him. What he didn't know then, was that this was just the beginning.
Comment: Here's chapter five, hope you enjoy~ <3
Chapter 5.
He slowly started to wake up, gradually getting aware of his surroundings. It was warm, soft and cozy, he turned around to his side and stretched out a bit. For the first time in he didn’t know how long, he had managed to get more than just a few hours sleep and it felt wonderful. He wrinkled his nose some and inhaled a deep breath. There was a familiar smell… like his band mate baked something. He opened his eyes, sat up in bed and put some soft, brown strands of hair behind his ear as he looked around.
He was currently lying in the bedroom of the small cabin. It really was small; tiny was a more accurate word for the house. The big porch outside was probably bigger than the building itself, but Rui couldn’t love it more. It was furnished in an old fashioned way, all kind of paintings on the walls, decorations filling up most of the spaces inside but it still didn’t feel crowded. He and the vocalist had arrived yesterday afternoon, and most of the evening they had spent going through the small house, Tomo shared everything from childhood memories to stories about the old paintings and portraits.
He did his best, but no matter how much he wanted to suppress the horrible pain he ended up feeling just… numb. Tomo had repeatedly told him it was okay, and he appreciated his efforts to get him to think about something else, but he felt like he was watching it all from a distance, so… numb. How was anything okay? On top of everything he felt so weak… so weak.
From nowhere images came flashing by his eyes, he blinked and returned to the present, shaking his head a bit as if in a try to get rid of them. He got up from bed in a hurry, almost tripping over his own feet the first steps. Tomo…
He found what he was searching for in the small kitchen and he halted in the door frame. The morning sun was brightly shining in through the kitchen window, blinding him a bit for a moment. He scratched the back of his head, almost not believing his eyes. Waffles? Tomo stood turned away from him, so he leaned onto the door frame and observed the vocalist performing his this-far-unknown cooking skills. Just being in his presence eased his mind tremendously.
Tomo on the other hand was completely oblivious of the other’s presence until he turned around a couple of minutes later, a bright smile graced his handsome face when he saw his band mate in the door frame.
“Morning.” he said gently. “I’m making waffles.” stating the obvious he put down another finished waffle on top of the others on the table and looked up at Rui again. He was smiling, and he looked somewhat better but he was still so pale…
“You know how to?” the younger said and walked a few steps towards the table, wrapping his thin arms around himself, it was quite shilly. Flour, sugar and empty egg shells laid around on the sink together with other ingredients, but there was something lacking… “You don’t even follow a recipe?”
“Where’s the fun in tha~t?” the blonde exhaled and smiled. He watched the younger take a few more steps, but then his knees seemed to give in on him for a second, almost making him loose balance but he grabbed on to the chair in front of him.
“Hey.” the vocalist walked up to him, supporting his unstable form to sit down on the said furniture. He stroke his hands over his hair and over to his forehead, checking his temperature but he didn’t seem to run a fever.
“It’s nothing, I just stood up too quickly.” Rui said quietly before the blonde had time to say anything.
“How did you sleep?” he ran his fingers through the younger’s messy hair and put a few strands back to place, not buying his words at all.
“Okay.” he said, and Tomo kind of believed him on that. He walked up to the sink and took out a glass from one of the cabinets, filled it with water from a bottle and handed it to the younger. He then fetched the finished waffle and put it onto the growing pile.
After breakfast they got dressed and walked around a bit in the nearby forest. It was an ice cold day and the white powdery snow covered the ground in a sparkling layer. It was cloudy and quite windy so they didn’t spend too much time outside. They didn’t talk much at all, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable.
It was a couple of months ago they had this much free time, even longer since they spent it together. To be in a quiet and peaceful place like this was calming by itself, but at the same time it gave room to a lot of thinking. Tomo was unsure how to ask the questions he wanted to ask, he was unsure if he should bring it up this early or if it was best to wait for a bit, letting the bassist stabilize himself some, if he could. What if he needed to talk but didn’t know how, much like he himself was feeling? In the end he followed his instincts and feelings, and it didn’t feel right to bring it up just yet.
In the evening Tomo walked out from the shower and found Rui sitting in the couch, some random music channel sounding from the small TV. He sat with his legs drawn up to his chest, his head hidden against his knees. Tomo watched him for a moment before he walked up to the couch and laid his hand on top of the brown locks. The other inhaled a shuddering breath, telling him what he already knew. He was crying.
Tomo bent down some and took the other’s hands into his own. “Stand up.” he said quietly and carefully dragged him up. He led them both to the middle of the floor where he stopped. There was a calm, beautiful song sounding from the TV, which seemed to make Rui cry even more, bending forward as he coughed some and inhaled shaky, irregular breaths. The blonde then started leading their arms in movements to the music, then his whole body.
“Dance with me.” he whispered close to his ear.
Small droplets fell down, one after the other, rolling down against the pale skin. Tomo couldn’t see them since the younger kept his face bent down, but he could feel them, he could feel the others pain radiating from him. He lifted their arms up and stretched them out above their heads as he moved his hips some, then let their arms down and started walking around as he moved with the slow music. At first he had to more or less drag the other with him, but soon he calmed down some and started walking on his own, soon starting following the vocalists movements on his own, memories played before his closed eyes.
Barely ten years old at the time had he walked around aimlessly in the neighborhood he lived in, half an hour or so outside the inner city. He walked by a book store that caught his eyes, he wasn’t allowed to go into any stores, but he couldn’t help himself from peeking in through the windows.
“Seeing something to your interest?”
The young boy flinched at the voice right next to him and turned his face to the source with big eyes, calming down when he saw the friendly smile on the old man that had approached him. Shyly he shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what to do in the situation. He knew he wasn’t supposed to talk to anyone, but there was something in the eyes of the old man that was calming to the young boy.
“You are not lost or anything, are you kiddo?”
He shook his head. The old man nodded some and observed him.
“I own this shop, so feel free to stop by anytime.” he said and smiled gently, turned around and walked in to through the door, leaving the young Rui quite mesmerized.
Rui closed his eyes and tears ran down his cheeks like small rivers. There were so many things he would have asked if he knew it would end like this.
“So, how old are you?”
Rui, who sat down in the small couch, looked up from the book he was holding. Somehow he understood that he didn’t have to answer if he didn’t want to. He had lost count on how many visits he had paid this place, but the elder had never asked him anything before, never said anything that he needed to answer.
He was allowed to look in any book he wanted in the whole store, he was always given something to drink and sometimes even a small snack, he was allowed to stay in the store as long as he wanted. Now, for the first time ever since he met the man, he spoke up timidly.
“I’m ten.”
The elderly smiled and nodded. “Do your parents know where you are?”
Rui got scared, his eyes widening and he held his breath.
“Ah, I thought so.” the old man said and sat down in the armchair next to the small couch the young boy sat in, right next to the big window. It was very quiet in the store. It always was.
“Are you going to tell them?” he asked quietly, but his fear was easily seen and heard by the elder.
“Don’t worry, I won’t.” he reassured and the young sighed in relief.
He remembered it as it was yesterday. He desperately wanted to go back. He wanted to go back…
The sun was slowly moving down towards the horizon, alerting the now fifteen-year old Rui. He should be heading back soon.
“Hey, there is someone I’d like you to meet.”
Rui flinched at the memory popping up and shook his head a bit, trying his best to avoid the images that wanted to emerge so badly.
The low sun shone through the big window in the shop, the air was warm and moist and it smelled of both old and new books. Like it always did. He timidly observed the young male he had been introduced to. He was so beautiful, his light brown eyes matched his chestnut-colored, long hair.
They just kept moving they bodies slowly to the music and it was soothing, it was comforting and calming. Tomo lifted up his right arm and steered the other into a 360 degree spin which made the younger meet his eyes at last and give him a faint smile. The vocalist smiled back.
“I’m sorry if I’m inappropriate, but you are really cute when you cry.”
The bassist made some kind of mixture between a hiccup noise and a chuckle, his face hidden under the brown locks again when he bent down his head and leaned against the strong shoulder. “Thank you… I guess.” he said with embarrassment clear in his voice, but still there was a hint of relief as well.
So much where voiced silently between them as one song after the other ended on the device, they were only listening half heartedly anyway, moving their bodies in the slow pace.
Rui snuggled up to him close and buried his nose in the still damp, blond strands of hair by his neckline. The younger sensed the warmth radiating from his soft skin in his face, his lips millimeters from making contact with it. He smelled of a mixture of shampoo and… Tomo. He wanted to melt into the elder, merge with him, be closer. The feelings made him tremble, only clinging closer on to him. His arms were locked around his shoulders and the vocalist tightened his grip he had around his waist.
“Shhh.” the vocalist hushed quietly. They almost stood completely still by now, Tomo only rocked them back and forward slightly. Rui was finally relaxing, allowing the blonde to relax as well, soon noticing how tired he was.
“Let’s go to bed.” he said after a few more minutes. He would love to stand like this all night, but they both needed to sleep. He felt the younger’s breath against his sensitive on his neck quicken just slightly, but he still noticed it. “I can come join you if it’s hard being alone?”
Rui shook his head. “It’s not hard being alone.” he said and paused, swallowing a few times before he continued. “It’s hard being without you.” he whispered barely audible.
The warm, tickling feeling built up in his chest when he heard those words, spread out through his body like a wildfire. He placed one kiss on his cheek, and one at his temple before he tightened his grip again to the point he worried he might crush him.
_______________
_________________________
thank you for reading~
Chapter: 5/?
Author: heartsthatflies
Genre: Fluff, romance, angst, drama
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Malexmale relationship, language
Pairings: TomoxRui
Disclaimer: Vistlip belongs to themselves, the pictures I don’t own either.
Summary: Something was off with their bassist. Tomo couldn’t exactly put his finger on it, but the last few days he had been unusually quiet and reserved, which was slowly started to worry him. What he didn't know then, was that this was just the beginning.
Comment: Here's chapter five, hope you enjoy~ <3
Chapter 5.
He slowly started to wake up, gradually getting aware of his surroundings. It was warm, soft and cozy, he turned around to his side and stretched out a bit. For the first time in he didn’t know how long, he had managed to get more than just a few hours sleep and it felt wonderful. He wrinkled his nose some and inhaled a deep breath. There was a familiar smell… like his band mate baked something. He opened his eyes, sat up in bed and put some soft, brown strands of hair behind his ear as he looked around.
He was currently lying in the bedroom of the small cabin. It really was small; tiny was a more accurate word for the house. The big porch outside was probably bigger than the building itself, but Rui couldn’t love it more. It was furnished in an old fashioned way, all kind of paintings on the walls, decorations filling up most of the spaces inside but it still didn’t feel crowded. He and the vocalist had arrived yesterday afternoon, and most of the evening they had spent going through the small house, Tomo shared everything from childhood memories to stories about the old paintings and portraits.
He did his best, but no matter how much he wanted to suppress the horrible pain he ended up feeling just… numb. Tomo had repeatedly told him it was okay, and he appreciated his efforts to get him to think about something else, but he felt like he was watching it all from a distance, so… numb. How was anything okay? On top of everything he felt so weak… so weak.
From nowhere images came flashing by his eyes, he blinked and returned to the present, shaking his head a bit as if in a try to get rid of them. He got up from bed in a hurry, almost tripping over his own feet the first steps. Tomo…
He found what he was searching for in the small kitchen and he halted in the door frame. The morning sun was brightly shining in through the kitchen window, blinding him a bit for a moment. He scratched the back of his head, almost not believing his eyes. Waffles? Tomo stood turned away from him, so he leaned onto the door frame and observed the vocalist performing his this-far-unknown cooking skills. Just being in his presence eased his mind tremendously.
Tomo on the other hand was completely oblivious of the other’s presence until he turned around a couple of minutes later, a bright smile graced his handsome face when he saw his band mate in the door frame.
“Morning.” he said gently. “I’m making waffles.” stating the obvious he put down another finished waffle on top of the others on the table and looked up at Rui again. He was smiling, and he looked somewhat better but he was still so pale…
“You know how to?” the younger said and walked a few steps towards the table, wrapping his thin arms around himself, it was quite shilly. Flour, sugar and empty egg shells laid around on the sink together with other ingredients, but there was something lacking… “You don’t even follow a recipe?”
“Where’s the fun in tha~t?” the blonde exhaled and smiled. He watched the younger take a few more steps, but then his knees seemed to give in on him for a second, almost making him loose balance but he grabbed on to the chair in front of him.
“Hey.” the vocalist walked up to him, supporting his unstable form to sit down on the said furniture. He stroke his hands over his hair and over to his forehead, checking his temperature but he didn’t seem to run a fever.
“It’s nothing, I just stood up too quickly.” Rui said quietly before the blonde had time to say anything.
“How did you sleep?” he ran his fingers through the younger’s messy hair and put a few strands back to place, not buying his words at all.
“Okay.” he said, and Tomo kind of believed him on that. He walked up to the sink and took out a glass from one of the cabinets, filled it with water from a bottle and handed it to the younger. He then fetched the finished waffle and put it onto the growing pile.
After breakfast they got dressed and walked around a bit in the nearby forest. It was an ice cold day and the white powdery snow covered the ground in a sparkling layer. It was cloudy and quite windy so they didn’t spend too much time outside. They didn’t talk much at all, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable.
It was a couple of months ago they had this much free time, even longer since they spent it together. To be in a quiet and peaceful place like this was calming by itself, but at the same time it gave room to a lot of thinking. Tomo was unsure how to ask the questions he wanted to ask, he was unsure if he should bring it up this early or if it was best to wait for a bit, letting the bassist stabilize himself some, if he could. What if he needed to talk but didn’t know how, much like he himself was feeling? In the end he followed his instincts and feelings, and it didn’t feel right to bring it up just yet.
In the evening Tomo walked out from the shower and found Rui sitting in the couch, some random music channel sounding from the small TV. He sat with his legs drawn up to his chest, his head hidden against his knees. Tomo watched him for a moment before he walked up to the couch and laid his hand on top of the brown locks. The other inhaled a shuddering breath, telling him what he already knew. He was crying.
Tomo bent down some and took the other’s hands into his own. “Stand up.” he said quietly and carefully dragged him up. He led them both to the middle of the floor where he stopped. There was a calm, beautiful song sounding from the TV, which seemed to make Rui cry even more, bending forward as he coughed some and inhaled shaky, irregular breaths. The blonde then started leading their arms in movements to the music, then his whole body.
“Dance with me.” he whispered close to his ear.
Small droplets fell down, one after the other, rolling down against the pale skin. Tomo couldn’t see them since the younger kept his face bent down, but he could feel them, he could feel the others pain radiating from him. He lifted their arms up and stretched them out above their heads as he moved his hips some, then let their arms down and started walking around as he moved with the slow music. At first he had to more or less drag the other with him, but soon he calmed down some and started walking on his own, soon starting following the vocalists movements on his own, memories played before his closed eyes.
Barely ten years old at the time had he walked around aimlessly in the neighborhood he lived in, half an hour or so outside the inner city. He walked by a book store that caught his eyes, he wasn’t allowed to go into any stores, but he couldn’t help himself from peeking in through the windows.
“Seeing something to your interest?”
The young boy flinched at the voice right next to him and turned his face to the source with big eyes, calming down when he saw the friendly smile on the old man that had approached him. Shyly he shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what to do in the situation. He knew he wasn’t supposed to talk to anyone, but there was something in the eyes of the old man that was calming to the young boy.
“You are not lost or anything, are you kiddo?”
He shook his head. The old man nodded some and observed him.
“I own this shop, so feel free to stop by anytime.” he said and smiled gently, turned around and walked in to through the door, leaving the young Rui quite mesmerized.
Rui closed his eyes and tears ran down his cheeks like small rivers. There were so many things he would have asked if he knew it would end like this.
“So, how old are you?”
Rui, who sat down in the small couch, looked up from the book he was holding. Somehow he understood that he didn’t have to answer if he didn’t want to. He had lost count on how many visits he had paid this place, but the elder had never asked him anything before, never said anything that he needed to answer.
He was allowed to look in any book he wanted in the whole store, he was always given something to drink and sometimes even a small snack, he was allowed to stay in the store as long as he wanted. Now, for the first time ever since he met the man, he spoke up timidly.
“I’m ten.”
The elderly smiled and nodded. “Do your parents know where you are?”
Rui got scared, his eyes widening and he held his breath.
“Ah, I thought so.” the old man said and sat down in the armchair next to the small couch the young boy sat in, right next to the big window. It was very quiet in the store. It always was.
“Are you going to tell them?” he asked quietly, but his fear was easily seen and heard by the elder.
“Don’t worry, I won’t.” he reassured and the young sighed in relief.
He remembered it as it was yesterday. He desperately wanted to go back. He wanted to go back…
The sun was slowly moving down towards the horizon, alerting the now fifteen-year old Rui. He should be heading back soon.
“Hey, there is someone I’d like you to meet.”
Rui flinched at the memory popping up and shook his head a bit, trying his best to avoid the images that wanted to emerge so badly.
The low sun shone through the big window in the shop, the air was warm and moist and it smelled of both old and new books. Like it always did. He timidly observed the young male he had been introduced to. He was so beautiful, his light brown eyes matched his chestnut-colored, long hair.
They just kept moving they bodies slowly to the music and it was soothing, it was comforting and calming. Tomo lifted up his right arm and steered the other into a 360 degree spin which made the younger meet his eyes at last and give him a faint smile. The vocalist smiled back.
“I’m sorry if I’m inappropriate, but you are really cute when you cry.”
The bassist made some kind of mixture between a hiccup noise and a chuckle, his face hidden under the brown locks again when he bent down his head and leaned against the strong shoulder. “Thank you… I guess.” he said with embarrassment clear in his voice, but still there was a hint of relief as well.
So much where voiced silently between them as one song after the other ended on the device, they were only listening half heartedly anyway, moving their bodies in the slow pace.
Rui snuggled up to him close and buried his nose in the still damp, blond strands of hair by his neckline. The younger sensed the warmth radiating from his soft skin in his face, his lips millimeters from making contact with it. He smelled of a mixture of shampoo and… Tomo. He wanted to melt into the elder, merge with him, be closer. The feelings made him tremble, only clinging closer on to him. His arms were locked around his shoulders and the vocalist tightened his grip he had around his waist.
“Shhh.” the vocalist hushed quietly. They almost stood completely still by now, Tomo only rocked them back and forward slightly. Rui was finally relaxing, allowing the blonde to relax as well, soon noticing how tired he was.
“Let’s go to bed.” he said after a few more minutes. He would love to stand like this all night, but they both needed to sleep. He felt the younger’s breath against his sensitive on his neck quicken just slightly, but he still noticed it. “I can come join you if it’s hard being alone?”
Rui shook his head. “It’s not hard being alone.” he said and paused, swallowing a few times before he continued. “It’s hard being without you.” he whispered barely audible.
The warm, tickling feeling built up in his chest when he heard those words, spread out through his body like a wildfire. He placed one kiss on his cheek, and one at his temple before he tightened his grip again to the point he worried he might crush him.
_______________
_________________________
thank you for reading~