(no subject)
I know i said that i have already thought through it and all but there are times when the heart and brain just dont work well together.
He left.
For further studies.
Yesterday.
I was distracted. Like very distracted, ever since i heard from him that he was leaving so fast. And now he's gone. Thinking back, maybe i should not have pushed my luck and spoiled whatever we had between us. Should have left it as it was. Who cares whether we were flirting or for real. It was a moment i truly looked forward to every day and enjoyed it. Thats what my left brain is telling me.
But what my right brain is telling me is that i did the right thing. To stay away from him, not be a possible third party, not to wreck people's relationship.
I wished he would drop me a msg. But he didnt. I actually teared the night before at 330am. Saw that he was online on whatsapp. But just didnt have that courage to initiate a conversation anymore because he never seemed to reply. Didnt want to come across as 'annoying/ irritating'. Im glad i kept that slight dignity. But its kinda hurting. Feels like a breakup.
How should i put it. I strongly believe he felt something for me, even if it was for just that short period of time. No one guy would call a female friend at 2am just because she couldnt sleep, right? If i was just a friend, he could have just went to sleep and not bother whether i could get to sleep or not. And there are so many other reasons for my belief.
But it doesnt matter now. He's miles away from me, in a different country. Something heartening would be, we could actually be doing the same thing at the same time - studying.
So, lets just study hard, score and do well.
I'll miss you. But lets just let time heal it all...
He left.
For further studies.
Yesterday.
I was distracted. Like very distracted, ever since i heard from him that he was leaving so fast. And now he's gone. Thinking back, maybe i should not have pushed my luck and spoiled whatever we had between us. Should have left it as it was. Who cares whether we were flirting or for real. It was a moment i truly looked forward to every day and enjoyed it. Thats what my left brain is telling me.
But what my right brain is telling me is that i did the right thing. To stay away from him, not be a possible third party, not to wreck people's relationship.
I wished he would drop me a msg. But he didnt. I actually teared the night before at 330am. Saw that he was online on whatsapp. But just didnt have that courage to initiate a conversation anymore because he never seemed to reply. Didnt want to come across as 'annoying/ irritating'. Im glad i kept that slight dignity. But its kinda hurting. Feels like a breakup.
How should i put it. I strongly believe he felt something for me, even if it was for just that short period of time. No one guy would call a female friend at 2am just because she couldnt sleep, right? If i was just a friend, he could have just went to sleep and not bother whether i could get to sleep or not. And there are so many other reasons for my belief.
But it doesnt matter now. He's miles away from me, in a different country. Something heartening would be, we could actually be doing the same thing at the same time - studying.
So, lets just study hard, score and do well.
I'll miss you. But lets just let time heal it all...