The Softest Meadow Would Have Cracked My Head
God she's pretty.
I really do think I have a pretty face. I know I sound stuck up, but my whole life I've always been complimented on my face. If only I could lose some weight. No one has ever said that to me, but I know I would be so much happier if I lost weight. 20 pounds....30 maybe. I think I'd be quite pretty. Ah hell, this is my journal, I'll say I'm pretty if I want to. But now I just feel so............. not. pretty. Urgh. I've been in the 140s for sooooooo long. 3-4 years at least. I'm so sick of it. It's so depressing to think that I first started dieting when I weighed 142 pounds and I knew I looked waay fat. Now I'm FIGHTING to get back down to 142 and 140. Every week my weight goes up because I binge on the weekends.
I honestly and wholely PROMISE myself that I will not binge this weekend. I might overeat calorie-wise a little bit, like maybe 800 calories or something, but I will NOT BINGE.
And I am going to write in this journal every day from Friday to Sunday to make sure I stick to my promise. I'm so sick of dealing with my weight bouncing around the 140s. I want my weight down to 140, and then OUT.
I don't know how I did today. I ate some junky stuff, but subtracted 200 calories for it, which is I think enough to cover the damage. That means that I have a little less than 100 calories left. I'm going to have a salad with a little bit of taco meat, a little bit of goat cheese and salsa. And then when I get home from my activity I'll have 5 calorie boulion and maybe a 15 calorie popsicle.
Just one day at a time. I love myself enough to make this happen.